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murf34 · Dec 30, 2008, 04:46 PM

I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago and then we got back together. I initiated the break up and she was really upset. Her boss at work was nice to her and since then started trading text messages. Some of the texts include:

Julie is my fav

And Mike=110% Julie Fan

They talk at work, and have been to lunch a couple of times. I think my girl has been generally honest when I ask her questions. She is sending him about 3-5 text messages a day and vice versa. The general feeling I get is that he is constantly looking for a way to take the relationship to the next level. My girl told Mike that she had told me everything and that he went "OWWW" like it was not good that I knew. I don't think she is physically attracted to him but likes talking with him.

He also hugged her from behind one morning which she wondered about. She did say that it probably would have looked bad if someone would have seen it.

The boss is moving to another store in a week so maybe I should not worry about. I am not sure when a work friend crosses the line.

Is this appropriate? My overall gut feeling is that he is hitting on her and she lets him do it even if she does not explicitly flirt back.

Scott

ZoeMarie · Dec 30, 2008, 04:56 PM

It sounds inappropriate to me. Actually we just got done watching a bunch of videos at work about these kinds of things and that sure wouldn't fly where I work

liz28 · Dec 30, 2008, 05:07 PM

Exactly, where I work that can almost be a form of sexual harassment.

However, I think either your girlfriend enjoys the attention because if she didn't she wouldn't be allowing this behavior. Or maybe she don't know how to tell him to stop and communicate with him because he's her boss.

I must add that something don't seem right and maybe the texts messages needs to stop because one thing every female knows is when someone is hitting on or likes them. It's up to her to put a stop to it and if she doesn't, what does that tell you?

ZoeMarie · Dec 30, 2008, 05:14 PM

True, she needs to say something or it's not going to stop either. It will just progress from here.

N0help4u · Dec 30, 2008, 05:23 PM

She needs to tell him she is happy with you and intends on staying with you. She probably does feel awkward and doesn't know what to say or do to get him to stop but she needs to otherwise she is leading him on and giving him false hope.
Even if he is moving to another store doesn't mean he will stop txting her. She needs to decide that she isn't going to reply to every txt he sends her. She needs to tell him that her priorities are with you.

Alty · Dec 30, 2008, 05:33 PM

Sexual harassment, it's illegal.

talaniman · Dec 30, 2008, 07:22 PM

She really needs to stop the texting. That's the only way she can send a clear message, she isn't going along with his program. Ask her why she is sending these kinds of signals to another man?

Alty · Dec 30, 2008, 08:14 PM

Had to spread the rep Tal, but I agree. :)

Fr_Chuck · Dec 30, 2008, 08:35 PM

She is now cheating on you, they may not be dating, but the texting and the such is not a boss employee thing.

Also a boss should not be hitting on an employee. She needs to stop texting back and tell him that it is not proper to be having lunch and the such.