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Wildcat21 · Aug 16, 2006, 12:34 PM

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh - you answered and talked??

What did we just say?? Disappear!! Oh well, you set yourself back further.

No to friends... don't give into her games/demands.

QUIT picking up the phone - you're busy now.

What don't you get?

I think you have a shot... but as you see on this silly call - you need to disappear from her life for a while.

NO frined zone - no hangout - she doesn't deserve your time right now. She needs to earn it!

Don't tell - NO MORE CONTACT!! Disappear!!

Wildcat21 · Aug 16, 2006, 12:37 PM

Strongly disagree C... he needs to disappear - no friend zone.

I see why he is in his place where he is with her... picking up the dam phone.

kadd0007 · Aug 16, 2006, 12:45 PM

lol thanks wild cat I love your honest approach, and I have to say again you are right!

That is what I will do I am going to dissipear for a while!! I think not only will it help me get over her more quick it will make her think twice about what she had lost =)

Thanks again for some great advice, I will keep you posted or bug you in the time of need!

Here_To_Help- Jon · Aug 16, 2006, 03:18 PM

It is very difficult to move into the "friends" category when you haven't gotten passed the "lovers" category. Its too early to be "friends" - you need some time apart to readjust.

kadd0007 · Aug 21, 2006, 07:55 AM

Well guys I am already feeling that I need to give an update and vent some more.

Well its been one week since we got back from Miami and we have not spoken a word!! This week has been the hardest week of my life, I miss her terribly and what's jabbing away at my heart is that all indications now points to the fact that she was being that way she was because it looks like there is someone else in her life!!

Why would she do that and hurt me for 6 month, I mean she has been cheated on and treated like **** why turn around and do it to someone else!! I am so confused and hurt at the same time but I still hold wats left of my pride by not calling her!!

talaniman · Aug 21, 2006, 08:39 AM

As I remember you were breaking up with her any way. So don't feel hurt about some other guy on the side and take this as a lesson learned. I've never understood how someone, after being treated bad, turns around and does the same to someone else. Go Figure!!

Wildcat21 · Aug 21, 2006, 08:57 AM

Dude - they will NEVER tell you there is another guy - ever. It's the top reason they break from you. They want to spare your feelings.

Hopefully you've learned a little bit about this gal... maybe she isn't so great after all??

Good thing these other guys usually don't last.

Maybe it's time to take a good hard look at this gal... maybe she's done oyu a favor??

Remember - whe nthey breal with you - there usually is always another guy. Trust me.

My advice to you is date, date, date... date some more.

Wildcat21 · Aug 21, 2006, 09:00 AM

Tal - he didn't reall ywant to break her idea.

Dude - learn from this - be more caucious - don't put so much importance into women... until your married.

kadd0007 · Aug 21, 2006, 11:00 AM

Thanks guys all the above advice is greatly appreciated!!

Its just really too bad that I had to learn the hard way... I guess to me its hard to understand why would anyone put another one's feeling through that kind of pain when they themselves have felt how horrible it is, and on top of that how do they live with the guilt because I never would be able too!!

Wildcat21 · Aug 21, 2006, 11:13 AM

NOW - do you understand WHY you don't pick up the phone when she calls??

Wildcat21 · Aug 21, 2006, 11:14 AM

Don't contact her for alone time if ever...

Date, Date, Date

kadd0007 · Aug 21, 2006, 11:18 AM

Trust me Wildcat, I at least now have the power to actually ignore her lol, its hard as hell but now I know its doable.

And as for date date date I will be working on that very soon

Skell · Aug 21, 2006, 03:40 PM

It will be hard kadd. And it will most likely get harder for a while. But eventually it will get better.
If indications are pointing to another man then sadly you are most probably right.
But use that as a bit of anger and source of strength. Use that to help you remember how she has used and mistreated you and that you are better off without her. Use that knowledge you have as a tool to ensure you don't let her back into your life to hurt you again.

We see it a lot. Girl leaves guy for another bloke and realises the grass isn't greener on the other side so she tries to come back. And usually they let her come back in and she does it to him again.

Don't make these mistakes!

You now have to move forward. Work on YOU!

As I said though it will get harder. It is only a week. You are going to feel so many emotions over the next few months. But vent them here or with your mates. Don't go to her. You wontget the amswers you are after.

Good luck and stick around. I find this site such a great help emotionally!

s_cianci · Aug 21, 2006, 08:48 PM

Good. Continue not calling her. You may have to resign yourself to the fact that nothing's going to come of this. Don't waste time and energy trying to figure out why she does the things she does. It is impossible to deduce another person's motives and you certainly can't control their actions. As others have told you, now's the time to work on YOU ; that's the one thing you CAN control.

kadd0007 · Aug 22, 2006, 05:42 AM

Hey guys,

Well I must sadly say that you were all right. This morning I got conformation from her that she did meet someone else and that is why things have changed.

She called me from an unknown number knowing I would not pick up is she called me from home, and she felt like its time to her to come clean. Now I know that most guys out there would have freaked and called her every name in the book but I went about it a different way and tell me if it was okay.

After she said her peace I simply said that I felt it was that all along and it was okay, I told her it was her loss and I told her that I would like to remain friends but just not yet. I told her that I need to be left alone and I want my space and if one day I want her back in my life a sa friend then I would call upon her friendship... and that is how thigs ended.

As much as this is hurting right now imagining her with someone else and now feeling like I am back to square one, I fell like this is the closure I need it. But non the less the pain is incredible.;

What do you guys think?? WildCat I need you =)

Krs · Aug 22, 2006, 06:13 AM

Im sorry for what I read about you, must be so hard on you.

But reading your previous posts I came to conclusion esp after reading this one, that you have the right attitude to help you move forward in life, and concentrate on yourself alone now, because that's what's important.

Feeling the pain is very natural, you are only human.
Time does heal, althou you probably won't believe, but trust me when I say it does :)

Good luck.

kp2171 · Aug 22, 2006, 06:35 AM

Good job walking away

Name calling is a bad way of looking for closure that really isn't there

Take some time before you date again. People screw up friendships or relationships when they try to ease the pain with another relationship too soon.

As mentioned, the hurt does go away in time, absolutely. Sometimes not as fast as we like, but you do look up one day and realize it just isn't as bad as before.

Good job

blueiman · Aug 22, 2006, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by kadd0007

Hey guys,

Well i must sadly say that you were all right. This morning i got conformation from her that she did meet someone else and that is why things have changed.

She called me from an unknown number knowing i would not pick up is she called me from home, and she felt like its time to her to come clean. Now i know that most guys out there would have freaked and called her every name in the book but i went about it a different way and tell me if it was okay.

After she said her peace i simply said that i felt it was that all along and it was okay, i told her it was her loss and i told her that i would like to remain friends but just not yet. I told her that i need to be left alone and i want my space and if one day i want her back in my life a sa friend then i would call upon her friendship....and that is how thigs ended.

As much as this is hurting right now imagining her with someone else and now feeling like i am back to square one, i fell like this is the closure i need it. But non the less the pain is incredible.;

What do you guys think??? WildCat i need you =)

You said the right thing. No big deal but it is to you. You don't want her in your life because she does not want you. So, move on forget her. You can and will do better. She does not excist. Do not see/talk ever with her again.

blueiman · Aug 22, 2006, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by kadd0007

What do you guys think??? WildCat i need you =)

You don't need whycat. You did it yourself. You talked to her told her the right things because you are moving on! She fell off the face of the earth. Do not be just friends... ever!

chuff · Aug 22, 2006, 06:54 AM

I know this may not sound great, but I'm happy you found out. I say that because then you never have to wonder and you truly know that she's not the one for you since she can't commit. It will be you who comes out stronger in the end and a better person. I wish you the best.