[gkiegrirgi]

I'm sorry but this will be a little long...

So I'm angry, I feel used I feel confused... about 2-3 weeks my ex girlfriend broke up with me. Same day I found out that she had been cheating with her first love g/f. It broke my heart, I missed her so much, but I just didn't want to talk to her. I didn't call, I didn't text. About 1 week in a half ago, I e-mailed her, telling her how much this sucked, telling her that I didn't expect it but accepted it because it was better like this. I told her that I didn't see a chance of us being together because of the fact of her telling me she wasn't "in love" with me anymore. I said I didn't want to force things, I said I need my space, and time. I told her that she's a great girl, that I hope she doesn't get hurt and I told her that I would be there as a friend. But not right now later... She then e-mailed me back, telling me she was really sorry. Telling me that she missed me, telling me that she can't live without me, that she's a mess without me... that she is confused... that the cheating, she couldn't justify it but that it was basically a mix of emotions and temptaion that she and the other girl have had for years... then she tells me it was more someone to talk to... then she says you're my best friend maybe more I don't know I'm confused... so I'm thinking thinking thinking... and she says I really don't know what to say or not to say, but only that I am so so sorry. After that e-mail, I decided that I wasn't going to respond, nor call or text her. I've been going out with a different crowd of friends and have been having a great time, yes I think of her often, but I remain strong and try not to. My friends have helped a lot. So has my sister... BUT... everyday since we broke up she has found an excuse to text me or call me. Nothing about us, but stupid stuff. Every time that would happen, I would either not answer, or reply with something for her not to reply. I want to say on Wednesday of last week, I went out, and my phone ran out of battery so I didn't have a form of communication, which I thought was great, because I just didn't want to hear from her at all. So I went to work, was doing good, until the next day when I went to work... everyone there was going crazy because she was going crazy looking for me. ONE DAY I didn't contact her or she didn't know anything about me she goes crazy. I opened my e-mail (work) and she sends me an e-mail at for a.m. can't sleep she doesn't know where I'm at wants me to call her once I get this. I got into work at around 10 a.m. and I finally call her, because she called EVERYONE and she's crying, I tell her I'm fine, and she won't talk to me because she is so proud... so I leave it at that. e-mail her telling her I was sorry for worrying her and that my phone died. Why did I explain myself? I don't know... but I did... so she e-mails me till she leaves to work... and I'm just trying not to talk to her. Because it's hard, I still feel something for her... so I keep short, say have a good day... aright that's that... after that, everyday she has an excuse to talk to me... and stupid me there I am responding... anyway, Saturday I went to a house party, and got really drunk... through out the day, we were talking about our puppy, well her puppy but it was both ours... anyway, how he was alone, but I was out and I wasn't about to leave a party to go take care of him... so one of the texts I got it just before I was leaving the party, and it said "i'm out of work, but then i went out how bout you?" I said, I'm still out, but I'm leaving soon, calling a taxi because I'm a little drunk. She then called 3 times... I didn't answer, she texted me and said, answer me please, I'll go for you. I said NO.. I don't want to see her, so I said no no no... she insisted and I just said NO. she then said please I want to pick you up, I'll feel more safe knowing that you're home safe. (WHAT THE HECK DOES SHE CARE, SHE Doesn't LOVE ME ANYMORE)... so I'm like nooooo, so then my friend decides to take me home and I tell her so she could be calm and she says OK but let me know when you're home... aright... I got home, called her I'm home... aright I'm going over... I'm like NOOOOOO I'm fine, I'm going to go to sleep I'm fine... she insisted and she came over. I was embarrassed because I was drunk, and I was nervous because I hadn't seen her in a looong time! So she came, didn't want to see her, I was under the covers and she just kept rubbing my back, asking me if I was OK, asking if I've been drinking everyday, I said no don't think she believed me but she started to cry, she kept wanting to hold my hand like touching it it was weird... I felt awkward... but then she left, left the puppy there, called her the next morning at about 11ish said I was going to drop off the puppy because I needed to leave... she said OK, next thing I know she's at my apt. I'm confused I asked her why she came I was going to drop him off... she says oh I just wanted to come... ook... so we talked about nothing all of sudden, she hugged so tight, and just kissed me (cheek side) and just hugged me more. I was still feeling awkward... so then once I left, I looked on her side of the apt and the other girls car was there... so I'm like what the heck man!! I didn't say anything I acted like nothing... later that day, she called me asked me if I was OK, because there was an accident right in front of our apt complex and I said no I'm fine... she then started a conversation , which I didn't want to, but she flirted with me... I then just said, aright well I got to go ttyl. I didn't make it obvious, but I did cut her off. That was that... the next day which was yesterday... she called me early in the morning, to ask for a "favor" she needed me to print some stuff for her. So I did... I thought it as just that, but then after that, she just continued to e-mail me or text me. I wouldn't respond, but if I did it was really vaque. She came over after work, with the excuse of her wanting some egg rolls my sister had made... so OK... I acted like nothing... and in the process of her heating them up, she asks me "Can I please hug you?" I said sure, I hugged her like friend, but she grabbed me so tight she didn't want to let go, I then realized that she was crying... but then again WHY? Is she confused? Does she love me? Does she miss me? Is she use to me? So I'm confused, I looked at her and said are you OK? She then just said, yeah I'm fine... I know her... she wasn't OK... that hug, I felt it... but I didn't want to say anything about it... got some stuff, took it to her place, I said all right, I got to go, she stood by the door like you're just leaving like that? I just walked away, when I was almost home, I hear the puppy running after me... (I thought that was the cutest... but she never lets him go by himself... and he literally ran to me) so I got him, took him back, gave him to her... and then when I said bye.. she didn't say bye back... and she stood by the door again... like waiting for me... Mind you she is super proud and stubborn... so she won't break... and I felt like she was expecting me to say something or ask her something but I didn't... early this morning at around 5 a.m. I got a call and it was her... I answered and nothing.. I texted her and told her hey you dialed me again... it's 5a.m. she then texted back at like 5:30a.m. hey... sorry my body did it. Good night. Have a good day. OK I left it at that... she e-mails at work at around 11ish.. what am I doing... how her knee hurts, just started talking cute with me... but I didn't want to go along... so I didn't respond... she then texted me when I was out to lunch at around 2 asking what I was doing... so she's contacting me for whatever reason it is... and I don't get it... I got home today, to go walk the dog and there is a rose (fairly new) and card that says guess who.. loves you I do... and in pen just because... and it's the other girls handwriting.. I know that for a fact... yeah I shouldn't have looked but OMG man, that hurt! So my question is with everything said here, what could she possibly want from me? Has she realized that she does love me but she doesn't want to be with me right now? Why is she lingering around? Is it because she doesn't want to lose me completely just in case her little "affair" backfires... I don't get it... I'm confused and I don't know what to do...

[jennifer1010]

Well she obviously still has feelings for you. But maybe she is just messing with you in case her 'affair' backfires. She sounds like a confusing person. I don't think she wants to ever leave you compeletly. How long were you two together for?

[gkiegrirgi]

well she obviously still has feelings for you. But maybe she is just messing with you incase her 'affair' backfires. She sounds like a confusing person. I don't think she wants to ever leave you compeletly. How long were you two together for?

We were together for 2 years and 5mths.. and yeah she's pretty confusing.. I take it a day at a time but man I miss her everyday..

[411Help]

we were together for 2 years and 5mths.. and yeah she's pretty confusing.. I take it a day at a time but man I miss her everyday..

It's normal to miss someone that was that close to you for such a long period.

Like you said, you need to take it day by day.

Don't expect the pain to pass over night, because it won't.

You need to start actively healing.

1. Work Out
2. Keep in touch with family and friends
3. Read a book.
4. Watch stand up comedy.
5. Update your progress with us.
6. Stay strong, we're here for you.
7. Most importantly, DON'T CONTACT HER.

[jennifer1010]

I totally agree with 411help
Take it day by day and do things to keep you busy.

[411Help]

A 15-30 minute jog around the block will do wonders for you, trust me.

[scaredypants]

Talk to her... you guys were together for 2 years. I would hope that through that time you developed a sense of maturity that even if you were not together you could still talk.

At the same time don't rebuild the ralationship. It's over and accept it but if you're confused she is the best person to ask after all she if anyone has the real answer.

Hopefully she will be mature enough to deal with the matter in respect.
You be mature too.

[gkiegrirgi]

Yeah don't get me wrong, I've been keeping myself busy from day one. I've been doing everything I can, even so in my busy day, she pops up. It is really hard, and I know that it won't go away fast, but man I hate this...

I don't really want to talk to her about our relationship right now, I would rather her just do what she needs to do, and me in the mean time, hopefully get over her soon. I hate that I know that she still has feelings for me but she has feelings for some other person, I've accepted it, that's the thing, and when I want to go on and just wakl away, she appears from no where... I don't want to tell her to not contact me... but I think I'm going to have to... it's so hard... :(

[gkiegrirgi]

Now I'm bothered by the fact that she keeps lingering me along to her. Whether it's to see how I'm doing or to ask for a 'favor.' I'm tired of her not knowing what it is she wants. I'm beginning to feel angry and it's not a good thing.

She came by last night and she came with the excuse to pick up some 'important papers' she had left in my apt. I was angry with her, I was bothered that she was finding an excuse to see me or talk to me. I stood at my door with my hands crossed and seemed angry or aggrevated as she put it and then she asks me... 'are you aright? You seem mad or aggrevated.. ' UGH! I wanted to say yes I'm so angry with you!!

But I kept cool, I said I'm all right... She then grabbed me and hugged me and gasped like never before, and the hug TIGHT! I don't understand what she wants from me, I haven't made a move I haven't tried anything and I haven't said anything. I don't like her little hints that she gives me trying to say, 'hey make the first move' aske me something... UGH!! I'm so mad!

Why am I so mad, because she confuses me, she's way complicated.. Why do I still feel something for her... she cheated on me, I should hate her not want her around but I can't! The more I try to push her away the more she comes around...

This morning when I left to work, I looked over to her side and saw the girl she's messing with there (well her car was parked there) and it got me so upset!

I said to myself, it's not fair! And now, I'm angry, mad at myself for allowing her to contact me! I really hate everything about this stupid break up!

I don't know how to act around her, I don't know what to say, I keep a happy face but I'm dying in the inside. I'm devastated, I pertain myself to be strong, but I am so weak in reality. I just want to pick up the phone and tell her how much I miss her and love her.

But I won't and I can't... I don't want to lose this complete contact with her, It really sucks! I can't think of her, because then I think she's in someone else's arms, she cuddles with someone else, and does she call her babe? I think way too much, but the fact that she was there makes me angry.

I'm not sure what to do... I'm confused... I don't want to contact her. I'm so angry! I need to let this anger go, but how? It's almost as though she would be bi polar.

My friends say she wants the best of both worlds, I'm the serious one, and the other is just a booty call basically.

Will she realize what she wants? How long does it usually take for someone to realize what they lost? There's a lot I can't let go... I want to but I can't... it's so hard to forget her... so so so hard...

I'm hurting :(

[talaniman]

You will be in misery and pain as long as you keep contact with her and it doesn't matter who does the contacting. Either stop all of this, and heal, or keep letting her make you miserable.

And their is no need for a separate post, thats confusing, so keep it here on this one.

[a la king]

I don't think you realize this but you are in COMPLETE CONTROL of your situation.

I know you feel like things are spiraling out of control. You just need to sit down at a 'safe' place like a coffee shop, turn off your phone and pull your sh!t together.

Your heart is still telling you you want her but your brain is telling you that you can't because of the circumstances. Listen to your brain a little more and your heart a little less. You have way too much inner conflict and it looks to be getting worse.

Take it day by day- it might be easier for you. Forget about your future with this girl (friend or girlfriend-wise).. whatever happens can happen later on. Right now both of you need to get your sh!t together and not talk to one another.

Do it! NOW!

[gkiegrirgi]

So I just copied and paste the e-mail she sent me last night at 11p.m.

What am I suppose to do in this case, I want to tell her that I miss her too, and that yeah I want that, but it's hard. I Don't know what to do, what to answer... It's so hard that I can't even think of words to write to her...

I obviously knew since the beginning that she was just being proud, but man when I'm ready to just tell her to F off, she sends this to me... anyway this is what she wrote to me : :confused:

I'm really sorry I was mean to you earlier.. bad day, no sleep, no food.. stressed.. you sabes. I let out anger on you and I'm sorry.

For a while, I've wanted to tell you that I miss you. I haven't been able to because there is such a fine line that id hate to cross and cause confusion or pain, so I get scared or feel guilty. But I do, I miss you.. let me know when we can hang out again.. to tell you about my day, watch a movie or law and order.. eat chips and dip. I miss that. If its bothered you, I'm sorry that the past times I've seen you, I've hugged you, its because I need them. So yeah, let me know.. and if its not for 10 years, know that after those 10 years ill be there still.

Oh no, I see
The spider web is tangled up with me
And I lost my head
And thought of all the stupid things I'd said

Oh no, what's this?
A spider web and I'm caught in the middle
So I turn to run
And thought of all the stupid things I'd done

And I never meant to cause you trouble
I never meant to do you wrong
And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

Oh no, I see
The spider web and it's me in the middle
So I twist and turn
But here am I in my little bubble

Singing
I never meant to cause you trouble
I never meant to do you wrong
And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me