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    pramoy's Avatar
    pramoy Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 26, 2008, 05:22 PM
    What do I do?
    Ok so there is this guy that I care for a great deal.. he claims we are dating but not boyfriend girlfriend kind of deal.. it just seems when I call him, he likes to act hard when he is around his friends.. but when we are alone, he is a sweetheart.. we spoke about it and he says he sorry but this time I kind of told him that I am not calling him anymore that he has to call me, but yet I'm still waiting...

    Another thing is this girl he is friends with... he seems to be really close with her and it pisses me off but he says there is nothing going on.. I want to trust him, but its kind of hard to

    I don't if I should let him go or give him another chance.. he is a good guy but I don't know what his intentions are... please help!
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Dec 26, 2008, 07:36 PM
    What's going on, eh?

    Hm, all right, I'd say that your young? I did what he did when I was around 16 - 18ish range about being with the boys and trying to be a complete tough guy to the lady friend you know?

    Do you have any reasons not to trust this guy you care so much about? If not, take his word on this girl or what not, don't look to deeply into it, good advice is to look at things on the surface rather then dig deep and over analyze.

    As for what he wants, I would say speak to him about it, if your not serious and your looking to get serious and he is not, then you need to know so you can stop wasting your time and find someone else who is going to care about you as much as you care about them.

    Best of Luck,
    LCM
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 26, 2008, 09:55 PM

    Call him, tell him how much you REALLY wanted to make a go of it with him, but he's clearly got too many other important things on his plate.

    Wish him well, then make a date with some others to get out there and start having some fun.

    Dates are not commitments to exclusivity, so just get out there and go on some dates. If someone turns out to be more fun and a better match for you, then see where that leads.

    Either way, never wait around for someone to realize they're third-stringing you. Point it out, give a warning, then move on.

    It's OK. You and he will both be better off for it. If his behavior never costs him anything... what can you expect him to ever learn?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 27, 2008, 08:54 AM

    He claims we are dating but not boyfriend girlfriend kind of deal..
    Sounds like he was clear to me, and is free to do as he pleases, as are you. You're the one who is waiting around for him, so I suggest you back off, and be less available, and be single as he is.

    You should really have other things in your life, besides waiting for him.

    Dating is not an exclusive relationship. Why are you ignoring what he has honestly, and straightforwardly, told you?
    Noodles15's Avatar
    Noodles15 Posts: 57, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 27, 2008, 01:20 PM

    I agree with LCM, this is something I think tends to happen when you're younger. I dated a guy who did this same stuff, except he did say I was his girlfriend but acted like I wasn't when he was around his friends.


    I honestly am under the opinion that if someone can't be the same person around you AND their friends, that they're not being honest with themselves or you. You can't ever know which side is "the real him," I would say move on.

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