[person_23]

Hello I am a soon to be 18 year old who will start my Senior year of High School. I have a friend who lives in Kentucky it's a she. We've known each other for two years talked to each other through phone,internet, and letters. We both love each other as friends an see each other as dating material however. She has been dating a guy on and off for a year and a half. He has played her twice an she dumped him for it both times as well as him saying he'd break up with his freshman girlfriend (he was a freshman in college at the time) and he did to be this girls valentine but he got back with the freshman and just texted her instead of telling her. And he asked for another chance. He came to her said he was truly sorry that deep down she knew he was the one etc. Most girls would not give him another chance however as caring and as loving as she is she did only because she is afraid of being lonely as well as not wanting regrets should she not give him this last chance. He has changed just barley enough for her to date him. It has been that way since she said yes which was three weeks ago. A few days before today he bought her two things a promise ring and earings. Two things that she really wanted both items about $400 each. I love this girl and I would buy things for her but with the long distance and her parents let alone her not seeing me. She is expecting me to go to louisville because I told her I would go to a college there. I want to marry this woman truly every fiber in my being wants to be with her. However this guy is keeping that from happening. I don't want to intervine but I believe this guy is just keeping her and I know that I am far better than him an that she deserve so much more. He has a very bad temper I'm told. Here is my questions: Is the gift buying just a front to keep her? If I make a visit which I truly will in a few months will he get jealous. And if it is a front will she as in the woman I love be able to tell? Or know how to tell? If someone could give me the answers to these questions I would truly appreciate it I love her I believe her to be pure even though she is not a virgin because of her sleezy boyfriend. I would give anything to be with her so please If anyone could help It would mean the world to me it truly would thank you.

[JoeCanada76]

Okay I will try to answer some of the questions for you. The first one that sticks to my mind which is the last paragraph of yours. You say that she is not a virgin anymore because of her sleazy boyfriend. Come on, please get a grip. It takes two people. She is not a virgin because she wanted to sleep with this person, period. Hello she loves him, and obvously this is the case because she keeps taking him back, which is up to her by the way. You can not force somebody not to see somebody else. Okay its nice that you would buy her things, and that this guy did buy her things. Do you think there is more to love then buying things? Maybe she is the kind of girl that is attracted to men that actually support and actually likes real expensive things. Could this be a way for him to want to get her to stay or saying sorry, could be. It is not up to you how many chanches he gets to have with this girl, it is up to her. She is with somebody right now. So my question to you is if you love this girl so much. If you wanted to be with her so much. Why, did you not try to make that happen before she got together with this guy again? Do you think she would feel the same way about you? If not then your kind of out of luck? If I was so serious about somebody I would make sure she knew how I felt and let her choose what she wants in her life and if anybody wanted to make a move so the long distance experience would not be a problem anymore. Yes, long distance relationships are hard, but if both parties wants to be with each other strongly enough then one or both would make a move to make that happen to be with each other. So again to recap, this guy is not preventing you from doing anything. This girl, has chosen to be with this guy at this time. Would this guy get jealous if you visit. Why are you worried about that? It is okay for him to do what he wants but not this girl? If your going to visit, visit. Like I said before, if you truly love you and truly want her to know about it. You should not have waited. Maybe you will still get that chanch, but it is up to her to say yes or no. It is up to you if you want to tell her or not. The best time would have been more then 3 weeks ago.

Joe

[talaniman]

Do you date? I ask because even though you communicate with this female, it is from afar and she obviously has a life in Kentucky. You think you want to marry her ,but you've never told her of your deep feelings for her. In my mind phone calls and e-mails are no substitute for face to face personal contact. She sees you as a friend and that's a far stretch to marriage no matter how much you love someone. I think your moving far to fast in your own mind and assuming too much without enough personal contact. The next time you talk to her, tell her how you feel, but my guess is she'll think your moving to fast also since your both very young and sorry I don't think your both are on the same page. I think you need to slow down to see what it is your getting into and proceed with caution because you think you know this person but you really don't, so the mature thing to do is get to know her face to face, especially if you've spent the last two years shut off from all other chances at fun and dating to talk with her. She does have a boyfriend so she is not waiting on you at all is she? Take that as a sign that she doesn't love you like you love her.

[person_23]

I agree with u2 I wrote this when I was enraged they are together I'm sorry I do want wats best for her whether I am in the picture or not. She does know how I feel an truly she is flattered but I see what your both saying.