[kaffie kaye]

My husband of 22 years wants his freedom.. and it is killing me.. he is 47 and I am 54.. we always had a good relationship.. but he has been working out of town for the last several years.. he said he doesn't know me.. well.. he is gone 6 day a week.. I have found some things which would suggest that he has seen someone else on the side.. but when confronted.. nothing happened.. I am now in therapy 3 hrs. aweek.. I self injure myself by cutting.. I just can't get through to him.. he won't answer questions.. verbaly and emotionaily abuses me.. says some really bad things to me and about me.. very disgusting.. I treat him very well.. for I love him.. I have been told I am bi-polar and manic depressive.. I just can't function.. cry all the time and lay in bed.. no engery and sad... he really wants this and I say no... what should I do

[N0help4u]

1. You can't make someone love you if they don't.
2. Everything you said I don't see what it is you love about him.
He belittles you and makes you feel bad so you have a one sided love for a man that treats you like dirt.
3. Some guys don't love women who are weak and cry and have no energy. So maybe you need to try and project a more positive, assertive self assured image. You cut yourself and that alone probably makes him feel like he is not in a good relationship. Most likely he is comparing you to the other woman and if you are weak and dysfunctional it has to be that he sees better qualities in her.

[Ladyviper]

Regardless if you want the divorce or not, you cannot hold someone against their will. He is a grown man, if he no longer wants to be there he can simply leave. With or without the divorce, nothing will make him stay. The same thing happened to my parents almost 24 yrs into their marriage, life went on. It wasn't the same, but it went on. Sorry, but if he really doesn't want to be there, you can't do anything to change his mind. You just have to let go.

Really, why would you want to be with someone who verbally abuses you? Do you think hurting yourself is going to make him give you attention? It probably will, but not positive attention. You really just need to let go. I am sorry for what you are going through, but you can get through it.

[lawanwadee]

It's not wise to stick to someone who no longer has any feelings for you. You are entitled to half of marital property, his 401K or other retirement plan, social security benefits, etc. plus alimony.

I would travel the world if I were you.. be strong.

[talaniman]

Give him what he wants, and keep getting what you need. Good Luck with therapy.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is not a matter of what you can do, if he wants a divorce, he will leave, and he will file for divorce.

There is no way you can stop it, you can slow it up by fighting in court, unless he gives you all you ask for.

Time to get a very good divorce attoreny and fight and get all the money and property you can get.

Emotionally, go to counseling and work with it, You can always live without someone and get over them