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love092489 · Dec 21, 2008, 06:45 PM

Can someone please give me some good tips to healing. How do you get over someone? I know that people say that time heals all wounds, but my goodness it seems like it hurts more everyday. Especially when you and this guy have mutual friends and have to see this person all the time. Do I distance myself from outtings with friends when I know that he will be there? His best friend is this guy who is like a brother to me. I mean I have known him all my life and his best friend is this guy who hurt me so much! My brother throws parties at his house every week. The parties are really fun, until he walks in and then all my feelings come rushing back and I find myself glancing at him throughout the night. And I have stopped going every week and I started to only go every two weeks or even once a month, but when I don't come my "brother" is asking me why I didn't come. I don't know how to get over him. I find myself pretending more than anything.

411Help · Dec 21, 2008, 06:58 PM

It hurts. A lot! A lot! But... TRUST ME. I'm going through what you are going through. You need to keep yourself occupied and even though you're occupied you will more then likely think of this person. All I can tell you is, it'll get better over time. Try to avoid this person as much as possible. Don't CALL, TEXT, EMAIL, etc.. EXERCISING is the best advice I can give you.. 30 minutes of cardio workout works wonders. IF you need more help... Myself and others will be here for you.

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 06:59 PM

having mutual friends with an x is hard it really is,
could you tell your 'brother' that its hard right now? And that's why you can't come? Or will he tell your x? Cause that's no good... that'll give him something about you that he has no right to have. (mind you in my opinion ;) I wouldn't want an x of mine to have the privileged info of how I'm doing emotionally)

Homegirl 50 · Dec 21, 2008, 07:32 PM

You stay away. You don't have to go where you know you're going to see him all the time.
If your brother ask you, you tell him you have other plans.
If you know what you need to do and don't do it, it is not going to get better.

KBC · Dec 21, 2008, 07:40 PM

The idea of no contact would do you a world of good.

Can you change your life enough to not be around the ex?

The less you see him the better and less time it will take to heal.

Try finding some hobby,working out at the gym,social type things,heck cards with different friends,anything to not put yourself back into contact with him.

The changes are important,but the no contact is even more so.

I hope you can find some peace through the holidays.

KBC