[VBee]

I've always been a very emotional person and I seem to cry when someone so much as even looks at me. Everyone knows when I'm upset or in a mood and I wish that I didn't show my emotions so easily. I'm 23 and think that I should have grown up by now. Lately I've been really miserable, especially at work, I like the job that I do and the people I work with, but I find myself sitting at my desk feeling really low. I recently applied for a job in the position up from what I do at the moment, but I didn't get it. Unfortunately I felt even worse because my friend (who started working there after me and who I had found a job in the company) did get the job. So I know that I've been feeling down about that, but I don't think that it's the only reason for me being a blubbering wreck. The problem is I don't know what is the reason. I really want to stop being down and to have the ability to have a stiff upper lip and stop myself from crying when someone asks me if I'm OK. I've also stupidly started having a crush on one the guys that I work with and I think he might like me a bit. But being so emotional Ive started to over analyse his every move and so when I don't speak to him much in a day I start worrying that I'm annoying him and that he wouldn't be interested in me anyway. Really I'd like some advice on how to stop being so sensitive and to be more in control of my emotions.

[jcchampion]

What you are experiencing is not really uncommon, especially among those who were the only child growing up in the home.

You didn't say you were, and it's really not important whether you were or not, just see if any of this rings true...

When children are young, sometimes being emotional, or crying is a tool that they discover is very effective in getting what it is they want. Whether that may be a physical object, food, toy, etc. or just the attention of some intended target.

Unfortunately, this happens more and more in our current culture. It's bad enough when it's a child we're talking about... but even worse when it's an adult.

But, this "learned" behavior can be un-learned. While it may have worked when you were younger, it doesn't work now, and that's what you have to realize.

The solution is simple, really. I'm not saying it's easy, but it is simple.

Because it doesn't work anymore, you must stop doing it. To continue literally means to sabotage your entire future... your career, your relationships, everything.

See the pain and lonliness that continuing with this behavior will cause. And then stop.

But you might say... "but I don't know how to stop."

That's OK. You LEARNED how to be that way. It is NOT just your nature or your personality!

Once you realize that it is going to destroy your life, you CAN and you WILL change it.
You have control over emotions... NOT the other way around.

Then, begin to realize the joy, success, and freedom that you will experience because you are in control of your emotions. You decide how you feel about things, NOT your emotions.

Emotions were given to us as a tool of expression, not as a dictator to control our lives.

The person who controls their emotions and thoughts, controls their own life.

Now, this is a very powerful key... you must start controlling your thoughts. How??

Words! Words are the only thing more powerful than thoughts. When you find yourself thinking and meditating on things that would make you want to cry, then begin to speak words that enforce the fact that you are in control of your emotions.

Say, "NO! I don't do that anymore!" "I'm in charge of my emotions and I'm in charge of my life."

Lastly, don't give up! It will take time. As I said, it's simple, but it's not necessarily easy.

If you do it, you will be free. You will have joy, peace, success. If you don't, your life will continue to spiral.

It is only a decision, that's all. Make the right one.

JC

[KBC]

OK,you are emotional,good that's a lot better than being numb isn't it?

I think you are being hard on yourself.Who said you have to be all together all the time?YOU, I imagine.

And the idea of thinking you're a pain to this guy... that's just insecurity peeking out.

Self image and self perception are something I see you need to work on.

The question of why you are so emotional?What do you feel like in stressful situations?(like the job advancement idea)Were you confident when you approached the superiors,or just squeamish and expectant?, assuming you would get the position?

I am sorry your friend got the job ahead of you,maybe he/she had more confidence and personality that the management liked.

Building your confidence would be a great way to achieve your goals,and not feel so emotional all the time.It isn't weakness,not something to beat yourself up over,it IS telling you to do more for yourself.

What do you do to get more self confidence?

Setting goals,even small ones,and achieving them.Feeling the sense of accomplishment and thriving on that feeling.That's a good start.

I hope this helps,

KBC

[TexasParent]

Some people cry when they are angry; it's an expression of anger at yourself, your circumstance, etc.

Remember, sometimes depression is anger turned inward; and you may be expressing that inward anger through crying.

You may want to seek some medical help on this (and I stress this first, as your depression could be a sign of some thyroid condition or something else that you wouldn't think of); but outside of medical help there are ways to improve your perception of your life circumstance through changing your thinking.

If you are interested in hearing more about it, I will look for a reply post from you before I tell you more.

[Jake2008]

I am an emotional person too. Tears just spring out of nowhere when I hear the anthem, or bagpipes. Can't see it coming, and I can't control it, even if I'm happy the tears come!

But, when unhappiness affects the quality of enjoying your life, it is time to pay attention. If what you've described is how you feel day in and day out, maybe time to confide in a friend, family member, your Doctor?

Don't let too much time pass before taking action. Life is too short.

[ndnbow]

I am old and been that way all my life I have all I need and happy its just the way God made us,people don't hold it against you and I will bet people you don't even think of have respect for you and know you are a nice person, where would we be if the Lord almighty didn't have compassion,He gave his life for you and me and how ever our personality may be it's the one he gave us and we need to walk in confidence knowing 3we are less to offend anyone than most. I hope this has helped you the lord loves you and I do too.

[vanbrazil]

I have the same problem... some people say its good to cry but I don't think crying over everything is okay.. I cry when I'm nervous, when I'm mad or sad or even when someone says something that I didn't like or was expecting to hear.. It bothers me so much because I just can't control myself... And my family, friends and boyfriend make "fun" of me because they say I'm a cry baby or I cry too much/easily... I wish I could change that but I really don't know how... But at least I know that I'm not alone :)

[Emilie Hans]

I cry so much too... I cry for silly reasons. Reasons for which crying is really unnecessary... I want to stop that can anyone tell me any way or solution for that.. right now I came crying from my cousins house and I started searching in Google what is the reason for that and came to know not only me so many people even elders have that habit.. if I just sit and imagine of something not pleasant I start crying.. I remember something wrong I start crying.. when I cry I actually don't want but I don't know why I can't control myself and I feel so embarrassed because I cry for silly reasons.. I need help!

[Airil Uzro]

As for me, as a single mother its not an easy life. Tears are like my best friend.
I have 3 growing kids and its not simple to raise these children nowadays. I myself easily cried when I'm sad, happy or mad.. the best of crying, for me, its relieve! I used to cry alone at night and I mean cry hard and also shared my tears with my best friend as she knows my life path since beginning. At times seems like life never been fair to me, but that what I need to face. Thought that by having someone special in life that cares and loves would ease the burden that been carried for years but end up it became more complicated. I always tells myself that time will heal. Like others, I'm still trying to find the best way to control those feelings whenever it attack. Life never been easy to us.. it always test us in so many ways. Hang tough, be honest and truthful to others and also stay focus on what we are doing. Go through it... in whatever circumstances and obstacle.

[9632061345]

I think if your facing depression recently you may cry or your frustrated or angry with yourself