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daplaya_69_77 · Jul 10, 2006, 08:16 PM

What's up, I use to be pretty trustworthy, but just the other night I got busted being drunk off my feet. So now my parents don't trust me at the moment. How can I gain their trust back. Becausee really I don't drink that often it just came up one night and I guess I took advantage of it. But anyway anything would help... thanks

Stormy69 · Jul 10, 2006, 09:07 PM

It is going to take a VERY long time and a ton of work on your part to EARN your parents trust back, Once a child breaks a parents trust, it is extremely hard for parents to regain that trust back, Once you lie to your parents, it's hard for them to believe anything you say, once you betray their trust it is hard for them to just simply trust you.
I am speaking from a parent point of view of course, one with lots of experience on broken trust.. my oldest son is currently living with his grand mother because once he betrayed my trust and lied to me, he never stopped.. Every moment of his life was a web of lies, deceit, dishonesty, and
Breaking the law.. he too only drank "just that once"
Over and over and over again, until it lead to violence against me. The only way to regain your parents trust, is NOT TO DO IT AGAIN!
Don't say you are sorry and not mean it, and be a good kid.

CaptainForest · Jul 10, 2006, 10:17 PM

Behave yourself for the next 6 months – 1 year.

Go to some parties, and make a point of saying hi to them when you get home. That way, they can secretly observe you are NOT drunk.

That way, they will eventually start trusting you again.

Chery · Jul 11, 2006, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by daplaya_69_77

Whats up, i use to be pretty trustworthy, but just the other night i got busted being drunk off my feet. so now my parents dont trust me at the moment. how can i gain their trust back. becausee really i dont drink that often it just came up one night and i guess i took advantage of it. but anyway anything would help.......thanks

Have you thought of telling your parents what got you to drink so much? Was it couriosity or is this a routine weekend binge that you are doing?

Why not show your parents that you regret what you did by visiting an AA session a few times - that might help them see that you are sincere and that you don't want to do anything to hurt them. Telling them won't work - it's time for a 'show and tell' of the old kind

RIght now, only you can prevent further hurt and anguish - it's up to you.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

We parents blame ourselves for the failures, so if you love them, reassure them that they weren't all wrong in bringing you up.

NeedKarma · Jul 11, 2006, 04:51 AM

Talk to them straight up. Parents really want to keep the communication channel open with their kids. Yea you did a bad thing but admit it to them and don't do it again!

Krs · Jul 12, 2006, 01:11 AM

Been there done that!
Poor parents of mine esp my dad used to be worried sick waiting for me to turn home at early hours of the morning when I was 17 - 18 yrs old.
A few times I came drunk, they weren't happy at all and grounded me a few times.
I guess kids do that!

Ok drinking age in Malta is 16, and I don't know how old you are and what's the legal drinking age there.

Sounds like you feel bad for making them worry about your actions, so what you can do is simple.
Firstly I doubt you have a drinking problem, so no point in attending any sessions, really.
Just be honest with them, and prove to them that you can go out and have 1 or 2 drinks only.
Walk in home - looking very straight :)

Jay_Jay · Jul 12, 2006, 03:26 AM

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Talk to them straight up. Parents really want to keep the communication channel open with their kids. Yea you did a bad thing but admit it to them and don't do it again!

I agree you need to be upfront and talk to your parents straight ! You need to show them that you feel very sorry for your actions and tell them why you where drinking.

There going to be pissed with you for some time, but hey Rome was not built in one day -- show them respect and keep out of trouble and they will start to rebuild trust with you in time --

All the best of luck

talaniman · Jul 12, 2006, 08:05 AM

Coming home drunk will not impress your parents at all but you can turn things around by being a good student -do your chores without being asked-be helpful around the house-show a good attitude-be respect full at all times-don't give them any trouble!Trust me we watch every move so don't come home drunk!

daplaya_69_77 · Jul 12, 2006, 04:03 PM

Hey thanks everybody all your answears really made me think, and I thank you all again. I guess it will just take time, thanks

jduke44 · Jul 12, 2006, 06:34 PM

All these were very good answers. I would like to add that when they say you can't do something I wouldn't make a big deal about. I am not saying you can't explain your reasons of wanting to do something but give them the respect that you trust them enough that they're decision are for your own good. Also, that you are on kind of a probation, like the Captian said it could take 6 months to a year.

I would also like to add that I ruined my trust with my parents once or twice but because I didn't get into trouble on a regular basis, they trusted me that these were just bad decision given into peer pressure. It didn't make it right, but parents aren't stupid. Like, tal said, we watch every move. You sound like you know what you did was wrong and you don't want to disappoint your parents again. That is good, keep that up, and you'll do fine. They love you, and will trust you again as long as you give them reason to.

wizzkid89 · Jul 14, 2006, 05:58 PM

In my opinion,you got drunk it's not the worst thing I ever heard and it not really close at all come to think of it. I have done worse, I am not bragging, but when it comes to dissappointments I am the king. Anyway, the trust you so desire can be acquired in a number of ways. You could become an angel, but honestly I think there is a more mature way and more fun for you. If you want to continue drinking, the first thing I would do is just talk to your parents and tell them what you would like to do. Depending on the reaction, you either just walk away(if they get really really pissed) or you go this way and say that you will be more responsible when you drink, like for instance if you know you are going to a party tell them before you leave, that way they can stay up and give you a ride home. Communication is key, like the people said before me. But I think if you come out and honestly tell them what's on your mind and be honest to them that you do want to continue social drinking, or at least going to the parties you should tell them. It shows them a whole new kind of maturity when you can CALMLY stand up for what you want to do and approach them in a civilized manner. They will react in which every way, but just remember that it's a negotiation and try to treat it like that. They give a little and you give a little. If you tell them that you would like to keep going to parties and what not, I guarantee if you tell them your intentions before hand they will handle it a lot better and might even be cool about it they were kids once too, but it would be a lot better to do that then to sneak around behind their back and lie to them. Because lying and trying to weave around them really shows a lack of respect for them and that you aren't willing to accept the responsibility for your actions. All in all just remember to talk it out, and you will be all right.