[student_worker2]

So I have been dating my current boyfriend for 6 going on 7 months now and I love him and enjoy being with him.. we went to high school together and he wants to have a family with me one day... byt on the other hand he's very secretive and we have had a lot of arguments over his so called best friend these past few weeks... his best friend is female and he let her text me a lot of bull from HIS phone and didn't expect me to get mad... so one day I was on myspace and a guy gave me some words of encouragement... we talked vis myspace for a while and I found out that he is a preachers kid just like me... his father is a pastor and mine is a minister.. and I feel as though God sent him to me... he's charming, smart, nice,and very spiritual and my boyfriend lacks spirituality a lot... the new guy is 25 and I am only 18.. I would like to be with him but I still love my boyfriend even though he puts me through hell and back... the new guy writes spiritual poetry about me and has not once asked me for my phone number yet or said anything sexual to me and we have been conversating via myspace for almost a month... I enjoy having conversations with him and I am trying to change.. spiritually,emotionally,and physically, and I don't think that my boyfriend will be right for me once my transformation is over... I love him but he's kind of stopping me from making my change... I don't know what to do... I'm stuck between the two... :(

[Ber Rabbit]

Move on. It sounds like you know in your heart that your current relationship is not what you want. It's probably not going to get any better in the future. You're young and you have many periods of emotional growth to go through; you will probably outgrow your current boyfriend fairly quickly. It's much easier to break up before you end up married to the wrong person. Don't let him hold you back, do what will provide you the most support on the journey you wish to make.
Ber

[Aloysius]

I'm going to tell you this right now, for your own good.

A person on the internet can be the nicest, sweetest individual, but in real life, could be the exact opposite. I've seen this happen before, and I've lived through it personally. My ex-girlfriend was somebody I knew via the internet, went out with her for a year before I met face-to-face with her, and when I did, I was completely taken back by the personality shift. She was rude, uncaring, and I found out she had slept with numerous guys behind my back.

What I'm trying to say is, just because you find an internet-goer attractive, you shouldn't stake your long-term relationship for somebody you don't even know. Take some time to think about it, set your priorities straight, and really assess whether your current boyfriend is right for you. What has he done to "put you through hell?" Maybe you could motivate him to become more physically or spiritually fulfilled - if he isn't receptive, that's his own choice, but I really wouldn't recommend going with this stranger. It's a bad idea.

[450donn]

People can and will say almost anything in the internet to get someone else. For all you know he is some crazy guy who is saying what ever it might take to get into your pants. As a PK you should already know the dangers of meeting people in places like myspace, or bars. But since you don't please let this be a warning to you. He might be exactly what he claims, but then again?

[student_worker2]

Yes... I know about all of the dangers of meeting people via the internet... my dad who's also a detective as well as a minister tells me this everyday... so I decided to ask him about the internet guys dad and to my surprise... they new each other fairly well... and my current boyfriend is... well lets just say he's not in the right place he should be with my dad

[Aloysius]

yes...i know about all of the dangers of meeting people via the internet....my dad who's also a detective as well as a minister tells me this everyday...so i decided to ask him about the internet guys dad and to my surprise...they new each other fairly well...and my current bf is ...well lets just say he's not in the right place he should be with my dad

Well, let's take a few steps back, and re-evaluate what you've said.

Essentially, you love your boyfriend of 7 months, but this new guy you've been talking to for a significantly less amount of time has captured your interest and you've been thinking about going for him.

Let's think about a few points first, shall we?

1. Is this other guy mutually interested in you? I know you've both had great conversations via myspace and I know he writes poems for you, but does this mean he is actually romantically interested in you? If he isn't, you could lose both him, and your current boyfriend, who you say you love.

2. Do you really love your current boyfriend? If you really did love him, you would stay by his side. How long you've known your beloved boyfriend, versus how long you've known said internet stranger, is somewhat of concern. Perhaps once you get to know this other man more thoroughly, he will be completely different from who you thought he would be? Better yet, maybe you'll quickly lose interest in him?

At any rate, this is the only piece of advice I can give you: If you truly love your boyfriend, stay with him. If you don't, then you haven't much to lose, and might want to consider pursuing a romantic relationship with this new guy, who I think you may just be infatuated with.

At any rate, listen to your heart, and make the right decision for yourself, so you don't regret it in the future.

[ZoeMarie]

OK, first off yes, I would break up with your current boyfriend, for multiple reasons. If you're even thinking about meeting someone else you don't belong in your current relationship. In addition to the fact that you and your boyfriend are in different places as far as spirituality goes which for some is a really big deal, you are talking to someone and wondering "what if?" I know there is risk in meeting people online, but I met my husband online, his brother met his fiancée online, his sister met her boyfriend online and my brother met a really sweet girl online so...

[student_worker2]

I do love my current boyfriend and since I have committed myself to him.. the bible says that I am practically married to him and we just haven't had the ceremony yet... and I have been sticking with him because of that... I just wish he was as spiritual or maybe even more spiritual than or as I am because I don't want to be dating an ungodly man

[ZoeMarie]

Well it sounds like you are. What are you going to do about that? You aren't married to him, so you don't have to stay with him.

[student_worker2]

I know but if I do then I waould be committing adultry if I were to go out with another guy... I have talked to both my dad (minister) and my youth minister, and my pastor and they have all said the same thing

[Aloysius]

Then if you're so committed to your beliefs, stick with him. Because it's apparent you're not willing to make sacrifices outside of your religion.

[N0help4u]

Sounds like you do need to break away from your boyfriend even if nothing becomes of anything with you and the other guy.
When a guy is secretive and he holds you back from your potential he is not worth it. You need to grow and be you otherwise you are a cripple in that you are only living a percentage of YOU.
If he can not accept your individuality then he is not worth it and most probably down the line it will end in breaking up.
I have loved and still love my old bf's BUT they were not good for me.
There are other guys more suited for you and you will be WAY better off finding somebody more compatible.
The Bible says be equally yoked and I believe that it means more than believer with believer but even more so that two people with the same vision and same desires and same way of seeing things works together better than being with somebody that the only bond you have is you love them.

[student_worker2]

I'm really not... but he needs to become more spiritual because 1) we have nothing to talk about when he calls because he just wants to talk about sinful things 2) I don't know if he's saved or not 3) my dad doesn't like him and 4) he never goes to church

[N0help4u]

but he needs to become more spiritual because
1) we have nothing to talk about when he calls because he just wants to talk about sinful things

2) i don't know if he's saved or not

3) my dad doesn't like him and

4) he never goes to church

First you say 'he needs to become more spiritual'
1. Apparently he is not spiritual at all.
2. You can not make somebody change or even count on your hoping they change to the extent that they do change.
I am almost 100% sure he will never change to where you would like him so
You need to either take him AS IS or break up.

You are not going to find things to talk with him about.
If you continue with him the only things you will find to talk with him about are things like
Will you go to church with me? No. Why not? Because I am not into that stuff.

You have nothing in common. You only love him. Trust me you could go through a lot of bad relationships and be able to say you love everyone of them but love is not enough to keep and sustain a relationship when the other person is not on the same page as you.

You can choose to stay with him but I guarantee you will never feel fully satisfied with him and you will live more heartache than you can imagine.
God allows us to live in his perfect will or his permissive will. If you choose to go the permissive will route you will have a lot of reaping repercussions. 20 years later and I am just starting to work my way out of my marrying the wrong one.
Write a list of all the things that you feel make him a 'good catch' and look at the pros and cons. Love is not enough. Most likely he will only take advantage and take for granted that love.

[student_worker2]

I completely understand all of that but I really do not want to feel like I have wasted 7 months of my life with him... but you guys are right... I can do nothing but ask him to change if he doesn't so be it... but if I break up with him I'm not going to be able to have another relationship because it would basically be adultry

[N0help4u]

We all end up 'wasting' years of our life on many things especially a bad relationship but
A. Why waste even MORE years to justify the already 'wasted' time?
B. consider it a life lesson and move on.

[student_worker2]

It's not going to sit right with me... religious wise

[ZoeMarie]

I'm wondering what it is you want us to tell you? It's not going to sit right with you religious-wise to stay with him if he's ungodly, and it's not going to sit right with you religious-wise to break up with him. So what kind of advice are you looking for? Date them both? Not going to happen.

[student_worker2]

I'm looking for a valid way out... religiously I'm supposed to stay but also if I end it then I'm going to be committing adultry if I date someone else

[ZoeMarie]

You're not committing adultery if you break up with him and then start to date someone else.