[simoneaugie]

I received this as an email and wanted to share it, but maybe it should go under humor and comedy, or on the legal board, or under political issues and causes? What category would you place it in?

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best
Wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
Non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
Practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
Of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
Religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice
Not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a
Fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
Recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but
Not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
Whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to
Imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, nor the
Only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without
Regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith
Or sexual preference of the wish.

[N0help4u]

No this is the perfect place as far as I am concerned.
I gave that out with the Christmas presents a few years ago.

[N0help4u]

Here is a politically correct night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
Were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
Released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with four pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
Because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
When they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
And his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
Demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So... half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
Joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts... why, he'd never had the notion
That making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him, or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets... they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales... while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
For they raised the hackles of those psychological,
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football... someone might get hurt,
Besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passé.
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
He just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
But, you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
Nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
Give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
Each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere... even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"


Merry Christmas & Happy New Year Simoneaugie