[AManWithNoName]

Have you tried to forgive her?

Have you ever tried to forgive yourself?

This IS possible,both counts,the same way even,BUT!! it requires a few things from you,effort is just the start of it.

In order to forgive someone else,we must first forgive ourselves.

Are you ready to try?

I'm going to have a hard time forgiving myself, I don't like starting fights, never, I made a prommis to myself that I would never start fights, and I broke that rule, I forgive her though

[KBC]

We all make and break our set rules sometime.

Last I checked, I am human, Not a supreme being that never fails.

Don't think your unique with this,everyone has done that.

[AManWithNoName]

We all make and break our set rules sometime.

Last I checked, I am human, Not a supreme being that never fails.

Don't think your unique with this,everyone has done that.

So every one has made someone bleed through their mouth and nose

[KBC]

So every one has made someone bleed through their mouth and nose

I sure have,many of the guys I grew up with have,maybe more people will look at this thread and state their answer to this,bet it's the same(or close to mine,and yours too)

Why worry about it? can you change what happened?That was then,this is now.

This goes right back to the idea I am trying to help you see.

Have you tried to forgive yourself and are you Willing to?

If you keep kicking yourself your leg is going to stay bent backwards.

WHO ever said we(as humans) have to be perfect?WHO's rules did you break?

[AManWithNoName]

I sure have,many of the guys I grew up with have,maybe more people will look at this thread and state their answer to this,bet it's the same(or close to mine,and yours too)

Why worry about it?,can you change what happened?That was then,this is now.

This goes right back to the idea I am trying to help you see.

Have you tried to forgive yourself and are you Willing to?

If you keep kicking yourself your leg is gonna stay bent backwards.

WHO ever said we(as humans) have to be perfect?WHO's rules did you break?

My rules, my dads rules
That was my only rule, and I broke it

[KBC]

SO.You broke a rule,when are you going to get past the beating yourself up over it and move on with life?

Did you learn anything from breaking this rule?

[Wondergirl]

ive read the bible, ive been to church, i prayed, i did all this to get my faith back, but nothing worked

Well, no wonder! That's not how to get your faith back!

[TexasParent]

Aloysius disagrees: As much as I'd like to agree with you, there is no black and white in this matter, but various shades of grey. Not every cynical and pessimestic thought is a lie. Scientists have actually come to realize thiat us happy people are dellus

Thanks for the reddy. Have you lived this, have you tried it? I have, and it works. Furthermore, if you really wanted to help this chap you would have honored the various opinions here; and let him choose what worked best for him. This isn't about logic, it's about creating a different thought pattern. How would it be any different from for this boy to read scripture about God's love for him; would you criticize that? The idea I was presenting was an effort to change the negative tapes in his mind to positive ones in a secular fashion since he had lost his faith and it didn't seem like a direct religious approach was appropriate at this time.

As for negative thoughts being lies, give me any example and I will show you a different positive point of view to replace it. It doesn't matter if either are true, the point is to change his thinking for now and he can work on the naunces later.

Why would you want to confuse this boy by being negative towards a post? It could have been this was the path that best suited him, but you have raised doubt because of your logical and literal interpretation of my words. My words where designed for a particular effect, and you couldn't see it.

Were my words so dangerous that you had to flag my post? In the future if you disagree with me, don't do it in public unless I have said something reckless that my harm the original poster; PM me instead.

-----------------------

To Amanwithnoname: I guarantee you that if you try what I have suggested in my previous post, you will see things differently. It a choice for you. You can continue your pity party and all the attention that comes with it, or you can take control of your own life and take action and that means change. Remember: The definition of insanity is to continue to do the same things over and over again, expecting a different result. Talking about this over and over without taking some different action yourself with regard to your thinking, your actions, your behaviors will keep you stuck where you are. You hold the power to change things, you are not a victim, you hold your life in your hands; and if you want to you can change. Have the courage to change. Change one little thing and see how it works out. I gave a practical example of creating a gratitute list. Try that for a couple of weeks and see if your outlook changes, if so, then bit by bit you could add other small changes that will add up in time to a total tranformation into the person I know you want to be.

Don't give up on yourself, none of us here who has posted hasn't and if it makes a difference, neither has God (no matter what your understanding of God to be).

[KBC]

My rules, my dads rules
That was my only rule, and I broke it

Last post from me,for you tonight.

Have you ever heard the phrase: Rules are made to be broken?

It's an old one but one that fits here.

Sometimes we break the rules,I got a speeding ticket(years ago.. :) ) anyway,I broke a rule,I got caught breaking that rule,I got a ticket,I paid that ticket.matter settled.

NOW, do I fret over it for the rest of my life,or simply learn from it and respect the laws and don't do it again?

If I keep fretting over it,what will I do when I see a cop, get all scared that I am going to be pulled over again,even if I am not speeding?What kind of thinking is that,what good would that do?

Definition time:Insanity=Doing the same thing expecting different results.

Beating yourself up over something(fighting/lashing out)And expecting to get piece of mind,faith,out of a depression,anything at all positive,is insanity.

This doesn't mean you are crazy,this means you have an obsession with guilt and self-doubt ruling your thoughts.

the medication you said doesn't do you any good,, for whatever reasons, would eventually help you by clearing those obsessive thoughts,therapy is necessary to help you address them as your mind starts to unscramble those thoughts.

Friends,like us in here, can help you too.

I really hope this is helping you,I have watched you as you started in this site and was wondering when I was going to be able to contribute to your cause.Talk to you soon?

KBC

[ingrid119]

How you feel sounds a lot how my boyfriend used to feel when he was around your age. He felt a lot of aggression and had some self-destructive tendencies (he used to do stuff that could have taken his life, mostly street racing). But he took his aggression out with sports and it settled down a bit. He joined the army at 17 with every intention of joining infantry but than a week before basic training he met a chick who he dated for a while and switched it to radiology.

Life doesn't always go as planned but the changes that it makes always change you. Adults usually tell teenagers "it's just a phase" mostly because it is. The part off life that truly changes you the most is when you are on your own for the first time because all those little emo tendencies that teenagers have usually go away because your too exhausted or don't have time. So when you feel what you're feeling I would take it with a grain of salt because it's probably not going to last much longer.

[AManWithNoName]

Last post from me,for you tonight.

Have you ever heard the phrase: Rules are made to be broken?

It's an old one but one that fits here.

Sometimes we break the rules,I got a speeding ticket(years ago..:) ) anyway,I broke a rule,I got caught breaking that rule,I got a ticket,I paid that ticket.matter settled.

NOW, do I fret over it for the rest of my life,or simply learn from it and respect the laws and don't do it again?

If I keep fretting over it,what will I do when I see a cop, get all scared that I am going to be pulled over again,even if I am not speeding?What kind of thinking is that,what good would that do?

Definition time:Insanity=Doing the same thing expecting different results.

Beating yourself up over something(fighting/lashing out)And expecting to get piece of mind,faith,out of a depression,anything at all positive,is insanity.

This doesn't mean you are crazy,this means you have an obsession with guilt and self-doubt ruling your thoughts.

the medication you said doesn't do you any good,,,for whatever reasons, would eventually help you by clearing those obsessive thoughts,therapy is necessary to help you address them as your mind starts to unscramble those thoughts.

Friends,like us in here, can help you too.

I really hope this is helping you,I have watched you as you started in this site and was wondering when I was going to be able to contribute to your cause.Talk to you soon?

KBC

Im in criminal justice, I can't be starting fights, that's not the only fight I've been in, but it is the only fight I've started
Im aware of that phrase, I've fallowed it all my life, don't smoke, broke it, don't smoke weed, broke it, can't drink until your 21, broke it
Yes I do live a destructive life style, I don't like it 100 percent of the time, but I still do

Thank you for all the help, it really means a lot to me, but I still can't find god, I really want to
"I really hope this is helping you,I have watched you as you started in this site and was wondering when I was going to be able to contribute to your cause"
What exactly do you mean when you say this?

[TexasParent]

Im in criminal justice, i can't be starting fights, thats not the only fight ive been in, but it is the only fight ive started
Im aware of that phrase, ive fallowed it all my life, dont smoke, broke it, dont smoke weed, broke it, can't drink til your 21, broke it
yes i do live a destructive life style, i dont like it 100 percent of the time, but i still do

thank you for all the help, it really means alot to me, but i still can't find god, i really want to
"I really hope this is helping you,I have watched you as you started in this site and was wondering when I was going to be able to contribute to your cause"
what exactly do you mean when you say this?

Perhaps you can't find God because you've forgotten who God is; God is love, you will find him there.

[AManWithNoName]

Perhaps you can't find God because you've forgotten who God is; God is love, you will find him there.

God is love, I have felt love, I'm not an unfeeling person just because I lost faith in god

[TexasParent]

Then ask yourself, would you forgive someone else in your shoes? Of course you would, and God forgives you for whatever you may think you have done. It's time to forgive yourself.

Resentment of yourself is the poison that is infecting your life, forgiveness of yourself is the medicine.

It's difficult to know God when you are infected, an attitude of gratitude is a start. Gratitude is love of circumstance, seeing the positive, etc. Please invest in positive affirmations about yourself and circumstance and it will hep and forgiveness of yourself will become easier; the disease of resentment and negativity is running though you, it's difficult to make the jump from your condition directly to having faith again. You need to help heal yourself of your poisonious thinking by 'choosing' to replace it. If you have the courage to do this and have finally decided to stop beating yourself up; I believe your faith will be restored.

[AManWithNoName]

Then ask yourself, would you forgive someone else in your shoes? Of course you would, and God forgives you for whatever you may think you have done. It's time to forgive yourself.

Resentment of yourself is the poison that is infecting your life, forgiveness of yourself is the medicine.

No I wouldn't forgive the person in my shoes, I made the girl that I once had feelings for resent me

[TexasParent]

So just exactly how long are you going to punish yourself? Another day, a week, a year, the rest of your life?

You could choose a stop punishing myself date, that way it's not open ended. It will mean you are taking control, rather than just staying the victim with no control.

God has given you the power to choose, if you refuse to, is it his doing or yours?

Like the example of the man in the boat:

A man has climbed up a tree to save himself from a rushing flooded river and a man in boat comes by and says get in and I will take you to shore. And the man in the tree says no, God will save me. The a helicopter comes over and a man lowers himself down and says take my hand and I will take you to shore, and the man in the tree says, no thank you; God will save me.

Well the man drowns, and then in heaven he asks God, why didn't you save me? God says, I sent you a boat and helicopter.

------------

Of course the moral of the story is, God is trying to help you; through this site and other areas of your life; but you have to choose to accept his help. You have choose to stop punishing yourself, you have to choose to have faith.

I know it's difficult, and that is why I have suggested baby steps; but you have the power to choose to stay where you are, or say screw it; I'm not going to sit in this pity party anymore.

[Wondergirl]

Im in criminal justice

What does that mean? You're only a sophomore in high school and are taking courses like English, history, math, maybe a language like Spanish (I hope!! ). Where does criminal justice figure in?

I can't be starting fights, that's not the only fight I've been in, but it is the only fight I've started Im aware of that phrase, I've fallowed it all my life, don't smoke, broke it, don't smoke weed, broke it, can't drink until your 21, broke it yes I do live a destructive life style, I don't like it 100 percent of the time, but I still do

These are choices you have made. No one has forced you. In the future, you can say yes or you can instead say no and walk away.

I still can't find god, I really want to

You've got it all backwards. You don't find God. God finds YOU.

[TexasParent]

You've got it all backwards. You don't find God. God finds YOU.

I agree but I see it a little differently. God's love is everflowing towards you, through people, places and situations in your life and directly in your heart and mind; it's the ultimate gift to you. Like any gift, you have to choose to receive it. However, it's always offered and you can choose to receive it at anytime.

So God has found you, and is constantly knocking at the door, you simply have to open it and invite Him in.

[Wondergirl]

I agree but I see it a little differently. God's love is everflowing towards you, through people, places and situations in your life and directly in your heart and mind; it's the ultimate gift to you. Like any gift, you have to choose to receive it. However, it's always offered and you can choose to receive it at anytime.

So God has found you, and is constantly knocking at the door, you simply have to open it and invite Him in.

God has already opened the door or sent over the helicopter or boat. All we can have the power to do is say, "No, thanks."

[KBC]

"I really hope this is helping you,I have watched you as you started in this site and was wondering when I was going to be able to contribute to your cause"
what exactly do you mean when you say this?

It's a funny thing,but I happened to notice when you first posted in this site.Your answers were in some threads that I answer(or browse) also and I noticed the thoughts which motivated the person in the responses you wrote.

So,I wondered when I could address the person in their own question,rather than in someone else's thread.