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clamity_angel · Jul 8, 2006, 01:15 AM

Hi need some advice please went out last night as I do every Friday to local with my boyfriend and week after week when he's had a drink he flirts with men he touches their nipples and feels their asses he says he's just having a laugh but I kind of worried now and people commenting on it. My best friend says its odd my brother is gay and he does the same kind of stuff. I probably been silly we been together nearly a year I don't no what to do help xx:(

talaniman · Jul 8, 2006, 07:42 AM

Stop the guessing games, after a year, just ask him.

Wildcat21 · Jul 8, 2006, 01:06 PM

Yes - he might be bi-sexual as well - although I don't believe in bi-sexual.

Sounds like he's gay - straight guys don't do that at all.

Do you have sex? Is he all man?? Turned on all the time by you?

Stormy69 · Jul 8, 2006, 01:56 PM

Yep I would say he is leaning toward the other side of the fence. You could ask him, but I doubt he will just " come out" ( pardon the pun) and admit it.
My ex husband was gay and he did a lot of the same things you say your boyfriend did, also saying he was just " joking around"

shunned · Jul 8, 2006, 03:11 PM

Does he do this will imbibing? If the people he is doing this with are friends then this could be immature playfulness. If he doesn't know the people, it's sexual harassment.

ndx · Jul 8, 2006, 05:03 PM

I think, losened up that your boyfriend is acting homosexually. If he was just playing around, there's nothing stoping him doping it when he's not drunk, which he doesn't do, does he? The drink, imo is making him be more of "himself". On the other hand he could just be pissing about, although most straight guys ont do that, nore would that kind of joke enter there head to do. So, I think you should ask him. You don't want a gay boyfriend, and all fairness to him he might not want a girlfriend. Its beter to find out now than 3 years down the line when you have a son, and a mortgage. :(

Wildcat21 · Jul 8, 2006, 05:52 PM

As we've seen above - a lot of gay men, because of society, pretend to be straight - basically because of pressure from friends, family, work, religion etc.

I just found out a friend who is 40 years old is gay. All his friends are totally straight. Obviously we're all friends with him totally - but he felt so much pressure. Weird thingh is he kind of dated one of my old girlfriends friend for a while... I don't think they had sex.

PLEASE ask him about this - it's NOT fair to you at all. He is REALLY leading you on... I know another gal who is in love with a gay man -sad thing is he will never switch teams - she's tried to de-gay him.

clamity_angel · Jul 9, 2006, 01:57 AM

Yes we have good sex but he don't put a lot of feelings into it not like I do I guess I'm just kidding myself deep down I know its time to let him go .:confused:

Thanks all xxxx

Krs · Jul 10, 2006, 01:40 AM

Tell him you are interested in experimenting in a threesome, you want to add another man in bed with you two... lol
See how he reacts to that ;)

Wildcat21 · Jul 10, 2006, 07:47 AM

That's not funny.

Clamity - if you feel weird about it - that female gut instinct... TALK WITH HIM. Maybe he needs help.

You hear all the time about gay men having kids aonly to come out of th closet. Not sure how that get aroused but must think of other things.

Krs · Jul 10, 2006, 08:15 AM

It wasn't meant to be quite funny, really.

Even just to bring it up into a conversation while at your local pub, whilst drinking away... just to see a simple reaction.

Wildcat21 · Jul 10, 2006, 09:03 AM

I know. She needs these answers. She has to confront him. Communication is key. Can't assume anything.

Krs · Jul 10, 2006, 10:17 AM

You're so right again wildcat... communication is the key!
Assuming is the brother of all f**k ups.
My best quote because its so true!

Jay_Jay · Jul 10, 2006, 10:21 AM

Wildcat your right she needs to ask him out straight as then the answer will be Straight from the horse's mouth ! You have been seeing one another for along time, so just come out and ask.

Wildcat21 · Jul 10, 2006, 10:34 AM

KRS - Assumption can KILL a relationship. This one might be killed by that.

I had a previous relationship where all the gal did was assume things and not ask straight about everything. It killed the relationship for her... she had the totally WRONG picture of what was really going on. It was horrible. I had to keep reminding her of the fun stuff and great times.

Another HUGE relationship mistake to learn from people... Communication is king.

s_cianci · Jul 10, 2006, 12:13 PM

I think the handwriting's on the wall with this one. Such behavior is very unusual and inappropriate. I certainly wouldn't keep company with a man who behaved like that.

person_23 · Jul 16, 2006, 03:02 AM

I'm betting he's just screwing around however he may be bisexual I would just straight forward ask him.

inowknow · May 19, 2007, 05:19 AM

I once thought I was straight. I did like the attention gay men gave me. Believe me I used to get a lot. I used to look at gay porn to see if I liked two men together, however I never did not. Anyway time passed having a few straight relationships. (by the way I am now 28 years old) I then met who I thought was the love of my life. After about one year she heard I liked attention from gay men and started asking me questions. I always denided I actually liked men (to wich I thought I did not) Anyway in bed one night and she asked for a 3sum. With another man. The thought of seeing her with another man exited me so I said yes. (it never happend) from then on my partner kept asking me about gay things and I did start to find I was enjoying it, She bought me some gay porn. We both sat and watch it, where we both found I enjoyed it. (even though I never used to) to cut this short now. With the help of my partner I now know after all that yes it is true I am gay. Good thing about it all is my X partner and I are very good friends.
I would ask him straight out encourage him to admit it and tell him he has nothing to be ashamed of. After time (if he is gay) you and he will have the answer.