[chrissymarie]

At my job I have a lunch buddy. He's male and I'm female. We've been going to lunch together for about a year. We know a lot about each other and enjoy spending lunch together and taking breaks together and relaxing. Lately between us things have gotten weird because someone mentioned out loud that we spend a lot of time together and that we'd make a cute couple. Now people at the office won't leave either of us alone about it and eventually a rumor started that we were dating! Because of all this I haven't been eating lunch with him lately. I have a boyfriend. My lunch buddy was just my friend and now because of the rumors my lunch buddy is even acting different (more flirty). Is it possible to get my lunch buddy back? Will things ever be the same?

[450donn]

Have a frank conversation with him. It is possible that he always wanted more out of the relationship. Who knows?

[kp2171]

Yeah... two fronts to this battle...

First, the next time someone says something like that, you immediately tell them they should have more respect for you and your boyfriend.

Second, you should casually tell your lunch buddy, when he throws out something suggestive, that you are his friend and that's that. You don't like games, but you like his company at lunch.

I used to take lunch breaks with a woman at a company I worked at. I just like the company of women. Same thing happened. People began to talk. In that case, we just would invite others to come along more often. Nothing confrontational. It seemed to temper the issue.

It probably didn't hurt that I would commonly put up new pics of my mate at work and reference her in discussions.

What is the bigger problem here... that your lunch buddy is now making possible advances or that the group is looking for gossip wherever they can find it?

[chrissymarie]

what is the bigger problem here... that your lunch buddy is now making possible advances or that the group is looking for gossip wherever they can find it?

I'd say the group gossip is what bothers me most. My lunch buddys advances don't bother me. He makes the move in a none pressuring way. Just little compliments on my appearance and he'll ask if I need anything from the break room if he goes. He's just extra considerate.

[cannonballs]

Well, I certainly hope things work out for you the way you want them to.

As a man, I can tell you that I think his ego might have taken a bit of a bruising with all the gossip and what not. The most realistic outcome is that you won't get your lunch buddy back unless he gets a girlfriend he thinks is prettier than you. So, set him up with one of your hot friends and you'll be back in the lunch game before you know it!

All the best!