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Noodles15 · Dec 10, 2008, 02:01 PM

I used to be very good friends with a person, I went down a bad path and lost touch with a lot of friends, my boyfriend stayed very good friends with the guy however. Recently the former friend and I began to patch things up, but we're by no means close. My boyfriend recently expressed that the friend's grandmother is dying and the friend is very lost, and feels like no one is supporting him in the hard time. I'd like to show him that I support him, but I'm not really sure how to go about this. Two of my grandparents died when I was very young, and I've been fortunate enough to, in my adult life, not yet have to experience someone I felt close to dying.

What is appropriate for me to say, or do to help him in his time of need?

HistorianChick · Dec 10, 2008, 02:06 PM

Death, by its very essence, draws people closer.

All you need to do is be honest. Tell him that despite your history, you'd like to be there for him during this time. Tell him that you regret that you haven't stayed close, but that you want to start new, fresh, and again.

Its good that you care to be there for him. That is going to speak volumes to him.

Be supportive, don't bring up old history. Start new.

I wish you the best.

Noodles15 · Dec 10, 2008, 02:32 PM

Would it be most appropriate, to send an e-mail, have my boyfriend pass along a card, buy a card or make a card, have an IM chat, text, or phone call?

HistorianChick · Dec 10, 2008, 03:18 PM

I'd send a nice Thinking of You card, maybe with a Starbucks card that says, "Let's have coffee and catch up."

Email would be my second choice... email seems not all that personal to me, I guess I"m old fashioned.

Doing it by mail would show that you want to respect the fact that he may not want to communicate with you - you wouldn't "force" him to feel like talking if you did it over mail, but you would let him know that you really do want to be there for him.