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thoughtiwastheman · Dec 9, 2008, 08:28 AM

What is your take on dating a girl that already has a child? The child is about 4yrs old. We are going on our first date this weekend and I didn't realize she had a son until I saw her personal page. Usually women that already have children are automatically cut from my "perspective list" but this girl is very attractive. I told my older brother about it and he said that I should just go with the flow and se what happens. I'm wondering, what has been some of your experience in dating women that have kids, and what should I expect. Thanks.

XxMissBxX · Dec 9, 2008, 09:09 AM

I would say do what your heart wants you to do but after seeing the relationship my brother had with a women with a kid I would say be careful, just think to yourself what would happen if things get serious will you become the next father figure to that child think about how that child will feel about having someone new in his life and how it will affect him and his prospects, also from my brothers experience think about finance if things become serious will you start having to buy for the child not just the women you are dating basically just think to yourself are you really ready to be with someone who has baggage that will need your attention to but if you like this women then what have you got to lose do what is best for you

thoughtiwastheman · Dec 10, 2008, 07:34 PM

Yeah, the baggage thing is serious especially since I don't have any. I going to go at this with an open mind. Our first date is this weekend and she is expecting me to call her tonight. I guess I'll have a better take on things after the first date. Now the question... where I am going to take her? Lol. God help me.. lol

neverme · Dec 10, 2008, 07:38 PM

She could be great, she could be a b*@!h. You'll never know until you try... but if you find a way to know beforehand let me know! Lol

watsoncarter · Dec 10, 2008, 09:10 PM

I just want to say that in my experience a single parent should not spook you. I was the same way as you when I was younger"no girls with kids" but I did. 9 years later my son is 13 and we've added 2 more beautiful girls to the family.I come to find that a single mother is usually the result of a male getting in over his head and not being able to handle his situation,so he bails on mom.What he really did was bailout on a child that didn't choose to be here.Just don't too close too soon,and don't lead mom or child to believe you're in it to win it if you're not.they've been through enough.just keep an open mind.it's been a rough road, but I wouldn't change a thing.:)

thoughtiwastheman · Dec 15, 2008, 05:29 PM

So I went on a date with her. I took her out to dinner and she was very relaxed which was great. Before we went out, she actually came in for a glass of wine and when we stepped outside she gave me her keys and asked me to drive. I went to this seafood restaurant (our favorite food) and I even valeted the car. During dinner we constantly touched each other and we even shared each others drinks and food. It was very chill and laid back. When dinner was over we were both tired but we still looked for things to do and when that failed, I just decided to drive home. When I got home I said goodbye to her and I went inside and a few minutes later I got a text saying that she had fun and that she really enjoyed the dinner. I replied and said that she was welcome and that I would talk to her soon. The next day around 5pm I called but she didn't pick up so I left a message. We had previously talked about going clubbing but from the sound of things she knew I was not a fan of the idea. So I left a message but she never replied. Its been 3 days since we went to dinner and she hasn't called and neither have I except that one time when I left a message. I know that she has a kid so I understand that her time may be occupied so I'm not really stressing it. The fact that she said thanks for dinner was enough for me. Here are a few things though that I've been thinking about and I also think I may be too mature for her. She has several tatoos (not a problem), she's a heavy drinker at 21, and she also has a new born son. She is back at school finishing up when I am done with college and looking to go to law school very soon. The last thing that I've been thinking about is that a good friend of mine who is also her baby father's first cousin told me that he was at a party the day after our dinner (the day were were "suppose to go clubbing" and that he saw her and his cousin (baby's father) hanging out and drinking until 6am at this house party. I know that once you have a child with someone that that person is in your life forever so that is not a concern, but what is a concern is that she parties so hard until the early dawn and that she never called or replied to tell me about the change of plans. I will not call her again and I think she's not calling for one of two reasons. Either she just played it cool but is not interested, or she feels embarrassed that my friend saw her and she knew that he would come and tell me. When she does call (if she does) my attitude will be very nonchallant and very nuetral. I don't think she is worth my time and effort even though she did seem like a good person. So I guess another bites the dust... lol. What do you guys think?

neverme · Dec 15, 2008, 06:14 PM

Ya I think your right, like I said earlier she could turn out to be a ***** lol

thoughtiwastheman · Dec 19, 2008, 05:38 PM

I don't think she was a b**** at all and I think if I wanted another date with her and wanted different results that I could get that too, but I was just trying something different... I was trying to be nice and a gentleman knowing that nice guys finish last. I wanted to put down my guards a little since my guards have been up for so long and once again I'm proven correct that I don't necessarily need to be a jerk but I can't be me 100%. I do think the BIGGEST problem was the age factor and maturity level. I still think she's a great person to be with in a social setting but that's all.