[dogandengland]

I need suggestions as to how to deal with a person who has a severe undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. She daily throws tantrums, is invasive, breaks objects and threatens suicide, but becomes believably sane if the authorities are called in and threatens to make false allegations against me. She is quite delusional and refuses to believe she needs any kind of therapy and thinks all her problems are the fault of others. Mostly, I'd like to exit, but am afraid all hell will break loose. I have a heart condition and while walking a tightrope, don't feel ready for an all out war.

Sounds like the way my wife feels and she is see a doctor about it you are in the same position as e

[barelyhopeless]

Hide a video camera and tape her

[lovelyrita]

I have this. Its un diagnosed, but I know I have it. Its scares me but I have no insurance or money. I'm just a waitress.

[dogandengland]

i have this. its un diagnosed, but i know i have it. its scares me but i have no insurance or money. im just a waitress.

If you lived in england you could be treated for free as my wife suffer with bpd

[Bluerose]

Borderline Personality disorder is just that - a disorder. It’s not an illness that can be cured. The most a person can do is learn to live with it or anyone who has it. It can be done but only if everyone is facing the reality of it. Like anything else that may be going on with us in our life, the person learns to compensate for certain behaviour, learns when to take time outs, learns how to deal with certain moods. It’s a lot of hard work but not impossible to do. For anyone on the outside looking in and unable to help their loved one my own personal advice is start walking because if you are unable to help, you might well be adding to the other persons situation and not in a good way. On top of everything else the BPD person feels tremendous guilt for what they are putting you through. Not all the time but when episodes pass the guilt can be quite overwhelming, even enough to bring on another attack. One minute your partner is ranting and raving at you the next they are all over you proclaiming their love. Why? Because the first example is an episode and the second is them trying to make up for how they have treated you. Unfortunately, a few hours later, they might take it all back during the next episode. Sound familiar?

[Jake2008]

Borderline's end up going through the justice system because they are misdiagnosed, not diagnosed at all, or abandoned by their loved ones, and there is no support and structure to their lives.

The revolving door of the courthouse, jail, etc. does nothing as to treatment. It only punishes those with this disorder, without understanding, or insight.

Professionals are terribly ignorant of resourses as I've found out.

For some borderlines, Dialectic Behviour Therapy, although new, has had very promising results, and can be done through an outpatient basis. If your medical resources are not aware of this type of treatment, research and find the nearest hospital or clinic that offers it.

They are not criminals. They do not belong in a jail. Jail does nothing to treat the disorder. Abandoning them is not the answer either.

You can seek a psyciatric assessment, and seek legal counsel to have an involuntary commitment to a hospital for treatment. You can apply for and get an 'alternate decision maker' status, which would ensure that your input and participation is heard.

This disorder does not 'heal' itself. Some sort of effective intervention is necessary to get on a path away from criminal justice, and into compassionate and effective care.

As a mother with a daughter with this disorder, I have done what I've suggested you do, and she is in hospital receiving care, after a long and frustrating battle to get her help.

People still see this disorder as something that is willful and self-destructive and done on purpose, as borderlines are usually very smart and creative people. They must relearn many things, and punishment is not the answer.

I urge you to speak to a psychiatrist yourself, and a lawyer, and support groups, hospitals and clinics that deal with borderlines, and call counselling services in your area for information on people who specialize in this. They will be only too familiar to what you have to say, and can give you some good solid guidance.

Please don't give up.

[jenniepepsi]

I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder. And it can be very very scary. I held a knife to my hsubands throat because he refused to listen to what I was saying...

If she in fact is not in control of her emotions, and she is NOT faking it, it is just as scary for her as it is for you. She feels nothing but adrenalin and energy and anger DURING the episodes. And afterwards there is a deep deep depression and self loathing.

I am on meds. And let me tell you, I am SO much better.

I am not sure how to get an reluctant patient to accept help... but please keep trying and yes, even force her into treatment. It really is needed.

[kitty unrest]

I have recently been diagnosed with BPD and there is more material out there tohelp the people affected by then there is to help the people who have it. Take a look.

I'll repeat what someone else, said until she's diagnosed it could be anything and until you know for sure it will be hard to know what course of action to take.

She sounds like a severe case in which case you will need help to leave her or help her. She has to want to get help of course or else it will like getting blood from a stone. Buy a book, there are many out there on helping people who know someone with BPD. The great news about BPD however is it is "fixable". She can learn how to organize her emotions and learn a different way to react to things. If she gets help, she will get better and eventually will feel normal.

[AuntSwee]

I have BPD and took a very intense class called Stillpoint, it has helped in more ways than one I am also Bi Polar and the class has helped me monitor my "swings" (my children call them that). My Kids and family can tell you the change is wonderful for me as well as them. I don't have the uncontrollable rages any more. But until she is willing to get help and acknowledge that she has a problem, with your heart condition you need to leave until things change. I did not want to know that there was something wrong with me, (I did not want to be like the rest of the people in my family).But the camera is a very good suggestion as not only proof, but then she will also have to acknowledge the problem.

[__________]

I am concerned as there is no talk of your behaviour,nor is there dicussion of your standing regarding your mental health diagnosis,remember this person is not diagnosed it is your diagnosis of this person.I am concerned of a smear campaign to distract from your ongoing inappropriate behaviour

[Enigma1999]

I am concerned as there is no talk of your behaviour,nor is there dicussion of your standing regarding your mental health diagnosis,remember this person is not diagnosed it is your diagnosis of this person.I am concerned of a smear campaign to distract from your ongoing inappropriate behaviour

Hello ____________,

Please check the dates before responding to posts. This dates back to 2006. Chances are the op has figured it out.

Thank you.

[tomas555]

My girlfriend was acting strange for about a year, suicide threats, banging her head against walls breaking everything, threats, when ever I would try to separate from her she would threaten. I left and she called me and asked if she would see me again, when I said no she said " Im standing on a chair with a noose around my neck and I want you to hear me die, and she hangged herself. I was able to get there and cut her down with a few minutes she made a full recovery. The problem is she refuse any type of treatment.

[rush007]

My mother is exactly like this! She threatens my dad and I all the time. If she doesn't get her way with something, even if its really small, that's it. She says that she'll kill herself and she goes and bangs her head on the wall. I'm really scared. There's always so much of tension and I'm always weary when I'm at home.
She screams at the top most of her voice and breaks things too.
I could leave in a few months when I'm done with college, but I'm worried about my dad. I don't want to leave him alone in this situation.
We always try to comply to whatever she says, just to have some peace at home.

You should really take care of your health. I'm worried about my dad's health too.