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    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 3, 2008, 02:12 PM
    Wrongfully terminated
    I am writing to you in hopes that you might be able to help me or at least point me in the right direction to get some help.

    I am a single mother of 5 very beautiful and intelligent children. A little over two years ago, the state of Michigan took my children from me. Without warning or cause they entered my home and removed my babies. The removal was supposed to be "temporary" instead they terminated my parental rights in July of this year. When they terminated my rights, they did not tell me why they were doing so. I completed everything that they requested of me to do well before the time frame they gave me. I even completed extra classes. At my own expense, even though the local DHS office was court ordered to pay. I had to find my own counseling and other classes that they requested me to do. I was not given any referrals, even though DHS was court ordered to do so. The fathers involved in the case on the other had been handed services over and over again.

    My case really all began when I was engaged to my ex Nicholas He began hurting me and the kids shortly after we moved in together. We split from each other several times, but I kept taking him back. I have no idea why I did that, I am ashamed of iention that he let a friend of his stay at our home against my better judgment, and his friend molested my little girl. I of course immediately reported it. That man is currently incarcerated in Jackson MI. At the time that my kids were removed from my home me and Nick had been separated for 4 months. I had moved to another home and me and my children started a new life. Now in the reports, CPS tries to justify the removal of my kids by saying that Nick was living with us and still abusing the kids... but I swear to you he was not at my home. Nor had he been living with us. Now after the kids were removed the state made me move back in with Nick. They made me go back to a situation that had been so hard for me to get away from in the first place... In my parent agency treatment plan I was put under a gag order so to speak. Any time that I tried to tell them about what was going on with the fathers, that I knew they did drugs
    Before the visits with the kids... I would get told to shut up and mind my own business. Oakland county is abusing their power over low income families, they are taking our rights and children away. I know several other moms that are going through similar situations.
    I have more information for you too... please contact me back.

    WE NEED HELP!!


    Jessic

    I am writing to you in hopes that you might be able to help me or at least point me in the right direction to get some help.

    I am a single mother of 5 very beautiful and intelligent children. A little over two years ago, the state of Michigan took my children from me. Without warning or cause they entered my home and removed my babies. The removal was supposed to be "temporary" instead they terminated my parental rights in July of this year. When they terminated my rights, they did not tell me why they were doing so. I completed everything that they requested of me to do well before the time frame they gave me. I even completed extra classes. At my own expense, even though the local DHS office was court ordered to pay. I had to find my own counseling and other classes that they requested me to do. I was not given any referrals, even though DHS was court ordered to do so. The fathers involved in the case on the other had been handed services over and over again.

    My case really all began when I was engaged to my ex Nicholas . He began hurting me and the kids shortly after we moved in together. We split from each other several times, but I kept taking him back. I have no idea why I did that, I am ashamed of it. Not to mention that he let a friend of his stay at our home against my better judgment, and his friend molested my little girl. I of course immediately reported it. That man is currently incarcerated in Jackson MI. At the time that my kids were removed from my home me and Nick had been separated for 4 months. I had moved to another home and me and my children started a new life. Now in the reports, CPS tries to justify the removal of my kids by saying that Nick was living with us and still abusing the kids... but I swear to you he was not at my home. Nor had he been living with us. Now after the kids were removed the state made me move back in with Nick. They made me go back to a situation that had been so hard for me to get away from in the first place... In my parent agency treatment plan I was put under a gag order so to speak. Any time that I tried to tell them about what was going on with the fathers, that I knew they did drugs
    Before the visits with the kids... I would get told to shut up and mind my own business. Oakland county is abusing their power over low income families, they are taking our rights and children away. I know several other moms that are going through similar situations.
    I have more information for you too... please contact me back.

    WE NEED HELP!!


    Jessica
    Absolute's Avatar
    Absolute Posts: 50, Reputation: 5
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    #2

    Dec 3, 2008, 02:23 PM

    Why would someone do something like that? Aren't they trying to help, not hurt. That is a complete lack of reponsibility and integrity. Because OBVIOUSLY they don't have any of that.

    I'm very sorry to inform you but... I really don't know what to say. That OF course is something that nobody wants to hear when in crisis but it's true. Whom can you turn to? For now, go along with it, but in the background think. Hard. It's the misuse of power that is so wrong here. Who would say and things like that. They're YOUR children. So fight hard.

    I believe that you can accomplish in getting your beautiful children back.

    -Absolute
    stinawords's Avatar
    stinawords Posts: 2,071, Reputation: 150
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    #3

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:22 PM

    Were your rights terminated by a judge? If so then it is a final act and you can't reverse it. How did the cops "force you to move back in with nick"? They can't force you to do such a thing. You are going to need to hire a lawyer if you want to fight anything and it will have to be brought up to a higher level of court because if your rights were really terminated then you can't go back to that court. Your only hope it to prove that the judge acted inappropriately in the hearing. I repeat you will need a lawyer ASAP but it may still be too late. Why didn't you force the issue a lot sooner when the court orders weren't being held up?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:42 PM

    I'm confused - you say they took your babies with no cause. Then you go into a history of abuse. Then you post that your daughter was sexually molested. Then the Court forced you to move back in with the abuser.

    It's not the people on this board that you have to swear to and convince you're telling the truth - it's the Court that needs to believe you.

    Yes, you need an Attorney but I agree with Stinawords. It may very well be late and your story doesn't make sense.

    Also - dangerous to post your email address and the name of your fiancé. Now I question your judgment and decision making ability.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Absolute View Post
    Why would someone do something like that? Aren't they trying to help, not hurt. That is a complete lack of reponsibility and integrity. Because OBVIOUSLY they don't have any of that.

    I'm very sorry to inform you but... I really don't know what to say. That OF course is something that nobody wants to hear when in crisis but it's true. Whom can you turn to? For now, go along with it, but in the background think. Hard. It's the misuse of power that is so wrong here. Who would say and things like that. They're YOUR children. So fight hard.

    I believe that you can acomplish in getting your beautiful children back.

    -Absolute


    This should be combined with the other thread. It appears that the children have been taken from her and it may very well be late to change that.

    I do not believe the Court forced her to move back in with an abusive fiancé.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:51 PM

    First, I edited out the personal information here.

    But I suspect with all the things you did, the one thing you didn't do was hire an attorney. And that was probably your worst mistake.

    You start by saying the children were taken without cause, yet you admit that you kept allowing your ex, who was abusing the children to move back in. I would think that's sufficient reason to remove the children.

    As to your rights being terminated, there must have been some reason. For this to happen the court had to make a ruling and the reason for that ruling is part of the court record.

    Bottomline, you need an attorney to represent you now. Otherwise you will get nowhere.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Dec 3, 2008, 07:45 PM

    I merged and edited the posts also Scott
    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 4, 2008, 12:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    First, I edited out the personal information here.

    But I suspect with all the things you did, the one thing you didn't do was hire an attorney. And that was probably your worst mistake.

    You start off by saying the children were taken without cause, yet you admit that you kept allowing your ex, who was abusing the children to move back in. I would think that's sufficient reason to remove the children.

    As to your rights being terminated, there must have been some reason. For this to happen the court had to make a ruling and the reason for that ruling is part of the court record.

    Bottomline, you need an attorney to represent you now. Otherwise you will get nowhere.
    Yes you are right I didn't hire my own attorney... I had a court appointed attorney. I didn't keep allowing him to abuse US... I stood in the way of him hitting the kids and re directed his anger towards me so that he wouldn't hit them... but yes he has hit them... The FOSTER care worker is who made me move back in with him... he told me that if I didn't show a stable home with the father I would never see my kids again... I finally moved away from him and have been away from him for over a year... and still they terminated me... he even got arrested for domestic abuse last year and has been on probation for it since... and I was hospitalized... this occurred AFTER the foster care worker told me that I HAD to move in with him...
    They terminated my rights cause the kids were in care too long... in the state of Michigan there are timelines as to how long kids are in care and ours went over in time.. but not because of me... the fathers kept missing court and not completing what the courts were asking of them... but I did what I was supposed to do in a timely fashion, completed my classes and paid for all of them... I am still paying my child support even though by law I don't have to...

    Because of the fathers the courts drug out this situation... causing me to get terminated... while the fathers just walked away... they should have done that a LONG time ago... rather than hurting us
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Dec 4, 2008, 01:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDreamer81 View Post
    yes you are right i didnt hire my own attorney... i had a court appointed attorney. I didnt keep allowing him to abuse US... I stood in the way of him hitting the kids and re directed his anger towards me so that he wouldnt hit them... but yes he has hit them.... The FOSTER care worker is who made me move back in with him... he told me that if i didnt show a stable home with the father i would never see my kids again... i finally moved away from him and have been away from him for over a year... and still they terminated me... he even got arrested for domestic abuse last year and has been on probation for it since... and i was hospitalized... this occurred AFTER the foster care worker told me that i HAD to move in with him...
    they terminated my rights cause the kids were in care too long... in the state of michigan there are timelines as to how long kids are in care and ours went over in time.. but not because of me... the fathers kept missing court and not completing what the courts were asking of them... but i did what i was supposed to do in a timely fashion, completed my classes and paid for all of them... i am still paying my child support even though by law i dont have to...

    because of the fathers the courts drug out this situation... causing me to get terminated... while the fathers just walked away... they should have done that a LONG time ago... rather than hurting us

    You refer to the father and to the fathers - how many fathers are there?

    If the social worker gave you two choices - lose your children or move back in with an abuser - then you have to find an Attorney who will review that statement the social worker's advice.

    I'm still confused here but maybe that info will shed some light. What is the timeline in Michigan, how many months/years, before you lose custody?
    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Dec 4, 2008, 01:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You refer to the father and to the fathers - how many fathers are there?

    If the social worker gave you two choices - lose your children or move back in with an abuser - then you have to find an Attorney who will review that statement the social worker's advice.

    I'm still confused here but maybe that info will shed some light. What is the timeline in Michigan, how many months/years, before you lose custody?
    See the thing is that he never said it in front of another official... he said it at my brothers house when he did a home study... my brother and his girlfriend were there though.. but who's going to believe them either??

    2 fathers

    You have 12 - 18 months to complete your parent agency treatment plan... I finished it in 8-9 months!! And the fathers kept dragging their butts... making me get drugg with them...

    The courts kept post poning my part of the case because the dads weren't ready to proceed... so Michigan just kept giving them more time. And they abandoned the kids anyway.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Dec 4, 2008, 02:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDreamer81 View Post
    see the thing is that he never said it in front of another official... he said it at my brothers house when he did a home study... my brother and his girlfriend were there though.. but who's going to believe them either???

    2 fathers

    you have 12 - 18 months to complete your parent agency treatment plan... i finished it in 8-9 months!!!! and the fathers kept dragging their butts... making me get drugg with them...

    the courts kept post poning my part of the case because the dads werent ready to proceed... so Michigan just kept giving them more time. and they abandoned the kids anyways.

    I'll have to look at the Law - which is rather complicated - or maybe somebody from Michigan will come along.

    The fact that the fathers didn't complete or comply doesn't mean that YOU would lose custody - at least not in NY.

    Obviously I don't understand Michigan law.
    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Dec 4, 2008, 02:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I'll have to look at the Law - which is rather complicated - or maybe somebody from Michigan will come along.

    The fact that the fathers didn't complete or comply doesn't mean that YOU would lose custody - at least not in NY.

    Obviously I don't understand Michigan law.
    I know that... at least I thought that even if the fathers messed up they couldn't put it on me.. but they did!. they said that I failed to protect my daughter from the molestation... even though as soon as I found out when it happened I reported it... the man is sitting in prision on a 2nd degree CSC charge... I will even give you his name and info so you can look him up yourself... I swear... I know this all seems unreal.. but I am telling the truth..
    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Dec 4, 2008, 02:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDreamer81 View Post
    see the thing is that he never said it in front of another official... he said it at my brothers house when he did a home study... my brother and his girlfriend were there though.. but who's going to believe them either???

    2 fathers

    you have 12 - 18 months to complete your parent agency treatment plan... i finished it in 8-9 months!!!! and the fathers kept dragging their butts... making me get drugg with them...

    the courts kept post poning my part of the case because the dads werent ready to proceed... so Michigan just kept giving them more time. and they abandoned the kids anyways.
    You know what the sad thing is... the judge herself said that she would not have terminated me if I would have told about the abuse a long time ago... but I was scared... and I was telling people in the courts... hell I was telling my lawyer... and even he didn't do anything... I was then put under a gag order to not say anything negative pertaining to the fathers...
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #14

    Dec 4, 2008, 02:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDreamer81 View Post
    you know what the sad thing is... the judge herself said that she would not have terminated me if i would have told about the abuse a long time ago... but i was scared...and i was telling people in the courts... hell i was telling my lawyer... and even he didnt do anything... i was then put under a gag order to not say anything negative pertaining to the fathers...

    You know, I do believe you - and I have a tendency to be a non-believer unless I look at papers.

    And I know when you are being abused it's hard to think about anything other than surviving that day.

    And I know that the Courts aren't always fair - and the gag order? I have no idea how some of these decisions are made.

    I wish I had something to say that would make a difference but I honestly don't. I think you have to keep knocking on legal doors (so to speak) without being obnoxious, without getting angry (and I'll bet that's hard!) until SOMEBODY helps you.
    LadyDreamer81's Avatar
    LadyDreamer81 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Dec 4, 2008, 03:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You know, I do believe you - and I have a tendency to be a non-believer unless I look at papers.

    And I know when you are being abused it's hard to think about anything other than surviving that day.

    And I know that the Courts aren't always fair - and the gag order? I have no idea how some of these decisions are made.

    I wish I had something to say that would make a difference but I honestly don't. I think you have to keep knocking on legal doors (so to speak) without being obnoxious, without getting angry (and I'll bet that's hard!) until SOMEBODY helps you.
    And that is EXACTLY why I am doing THIS because my legal system here is not helping me... nor is the media!! And I need help... I have met several other mothers in similar situations here... and we are trying to get some attention on this matter... I have even written to my governor and senates and all the way to the white house!!

    I am going back to church now and reconciling with god for the things that have happened in and out of my control... but I really want to apologize to my babies and tell them again that I love them and I miss them and I didn't forget about them!!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #16

    Dec 4, 2008, 03:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyDreamer81 View Post
    and that is EXACTLY why i am doing THIS because my legal system here is not helping me... nor is the media!!!! and i need help... i have met several other mothers in similar situations here...and we are trying to get some attention on this matter... i have even written to my governor and senates and all the way to the white house!!!!

    i am going back to church now and reconciling with god for the things that have happened in and out of my control... but i really want to apologize to my babies and tell them again that i love them and i miss them and i didnt forget about them!!!


    Looks like no easy answer - just keep beating on doors, get other people to join in the crusade, make people hear you.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #17

    Dec 4, 2008, 08:04 PM

    CPS pulled the same things on me. It is like they are above the law.
    There really isn't anything you can do. Are you allowed any contact/visitations? Anytime you have the chance tell your kids that you love them and you want to be reunited with them someday but you are being denied by CPS. If they did the same to your kids as they did to my sons then they told them that you never wanted them and you do not love them.
    They played so many games with me and my kids that they made it impossible for me to get them back. They told me I had to do things and they made it impossible for me to do things that I had to do to comply and then in court they told the Judge that I
    Wasn't doing the things I should have. When I said that they told me I had to do the things that I did do the Judge, the case workers and everybody laughed and said 'We can't make anybody do anything'.
    I tried to discuss it with lawyers but as soon as they heard children's services they ran me out of their office.
    I hope you have better luck than I did.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #18

    Dec 4, 2008, 08:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    CPS pulled the same things on me. It is like they are above the law.
    There really isn't anything you can do. Are you allowed any contact/visitations? Anytime you have the chance tell your kids that you love them and you want to be reunited with them someday but you are being denied by CPS. If they did the same to your kids as they did to my sons then they told them that you never wanted them and you do not love them.
    They played so many games with me and my kids that they made it impossible for me to get them back. They told me I had to do things and they made it impossible for me to do things that I had to do to comply and then in court they told the Judge that I
    wasn't doing the things I should of. When I said that they told me I had to do the things that I did do the Judge, the case workers and everybody laughed and said 'We can't make anybody do anything'.
    I tried to discuss it with lawyers but as soon as they heard childrens services they ran me out of their office.
    I hope you have better luck than I did.

    I find it interesting to note that the OP, despite pretty much having lost custody, continues to pay child support. People post here, ordered to pay child support and don't pay it. Wonder if that counts for something - ?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #19

    Dec 4, 2008, 08:24 PM

    I do feel it is like double jeopardy. They TAKE your kids from you and then MAKE you pay. That is basically insult to injury. BUT IF they court order you to pay you NEED to pay.
    I know fathers that do not pay child support and it eventually catches up to doing some slammer time for them.
    KISS's Avatar
    KISS Posts: 12,510, Reputation: 839
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    #20

    Jan 18, 2009, 02:40 PM

    The Social worker has a professional license. You can get a complaint form from the "Division of Professional Regulation" from your state. There should be a code of conduct or laws for social workers.

    You will be asked specifically what laws were violated and proof.

    You may or may not need a lawyer.

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