[De4rest]

Hi all,

My current situation now is that my ex-bf called me this past weeks but I never answer. I wanted to but I was afraid that he is going to use me. I want to know what his motivation was by calling me but I am not sure if I should just pick it up or let it go. He messaged me on msn too but I did not reply as well. Do you think I should give him a chance to talk to me or I should just forget about it?

Ps: I moved on and I don't have feelings for him anymore but I do not mind if he wants to be friends with me.

[Ana52408]

Depends on the situation you guys broke up. I mean if you guys broke up just because it wasn't working out, why ignore him? Have him as a friend and maybe in the future you guys will find out things you didn't even know about each other and end up working out. If you don't have any feelings for him now, then at least be his friend.

[De4rest]

Thanks for the advice, I actually posted here before under "Confused about his behaviour, does he care about me?" about the break up with him if you want to know more about the situation I was in few months back.

[Ana52408]

Well just make the story short because I'm too lazy to look back lol
:)

[De4rest]

LOL that's OK. He broke up with me actually and he asked me back I said no because I feel he disrespect me by saying let's broke up several times and never change. Right after that he kicked and punched my personal belongings. Then after a few weeks I found out that he still loved his ex so I get so upset. I made a stupid mistake along the way because I missed him and asked him back. He said no, so I moved on. Then, he started to called me and asked how I am doing and stuff. I said I was busy so please let me study and call some other time. His motivation to call me at that time (2.5 months ago) was because he wanted me to care about him and be his best friend. He knew that I could not do that at the time because I still have feelings for him. We also supposed to hang out but he asked me to pick him up I said no and he got mad and we never talked anymore after that day. Now, after 1.5-2 months of no contact, he tries to contact me again by calling me and messaged me. So, I am not sure what his motivation right now. I am not sure if I should just continue to ignore him or start talking to him again.

[Ana52408]

OK now that I know what went on, now he is just looking for someone to rely on, I think his motivation now is just to use you as a back up till he finds some one else to go for. I mean, if he really wanted to be with you, he would do more than that. How long did you guys last? And was it serious? Because if you were trying to make it serious or it wasn't at all serious then just forget about it. In my opinion when I go out with a guy and we brake up, that's it. For me there's no fix up unless there's a good explanation like going out of state for college. Anyhow, give it a try to be his friend but if he starts to flirt and if he starts to try something on you, play hard to get and don't talk to him if you feel uncomfortable with him. Just avoid him as much as possible. But if you feel you at least need him as a friend and he will treat you diffrently as a friend then go for it. But just don't let him lower your standards.

[JBeaucaire]

It doesn't really matter what he wants. The only thing that's relevant is whether you have room in your life for the drama a "friends" relationship with him would bring. Friendship is a lot of work, and it requires committing time you would normally allot to other things, other friends, other relationships.

You only have so much energy in the day. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, regardless of his intentions, being around him is going to drain more energy out of you than you really have to spare.

Yes?

He may want to be your friend, but neither of you need to be friends and will probably both benefit from saving your energies for other things.