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icylove831 · Nov 30, 2008, 04:31 PM

I am in love with a married man. He has only been married for about 4 months I have known him for 12 years he is my best friend. We have dated multiple times through out our friendship but things got really rough. He got into some really bad things then went and got help. I was by his side threw it all even when his friends and family were to afraid to do so. When he was finished with his help he asked me to marry him and we had talked about it several times previous to this problem. I told him no. I wasn't ready for marriage or a family when he asked me. He is a little older then me and truly I didn't believe he was ready either. He did what I was afraid of he fell back into things. He got angry with me which was expected from the things he was doing. He decided not to come to me with it and moved over 1000 miles away with some of his family. I thought this would be good for him to have his family. We began to talk on the phone again. Within a month of his move he got married. This hurt me to no end. We had talked about us and what we were going to do and of course I was being selfish for wanting him to wait for me. I didn't want to rush into anything at this time and stage of his life. I do love him and I do want a family and marriage with him I just wasn't ready. He's back in town and feelings are getting deeper. I don't want to mess his marriage up. We still love each other the same, but he's married. Please help me I don't know what to do or even where to start. :confused:

southerngalps · Nov 30, 2008, 04:35 PM

Well, you should do the right thing and do not break up his marriage.

Let him leave on his own. Do not influence his decision.

I understand this is different than having an affair, but you still cannot be a homewrecker.

If he really loved you, why did he marry someone so quickly? You have to think about the answer. And maybe you will see a different light.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 30, 2008, 06:41 PM

You leave him alone, don't start into a dating, don't get involved with them,

NewYork123 · Nov 30, 2008, 07:54 PM

Do not mess up his marriage no matter how hard it is... think about his wife and the pain she would feel. It's his fault for marrying if he was still in love with you, not yours at all! It's okay you weren't ready if he truly loved you he would have waited until you were ready like in the movies lol

talaniman · Dec 1, 2008, 01:01 PM

Within a month of his move he got married

As weird as that sounds to me, as if he was cheating on you, are you really going to let him cheat on his new wife with you?? I suspect he has been feeding you some BS all along, and now he wants to keep you on the side.

Stay away from this cheater.

Love may be blind, but stupid is up to you.

SimpleguyJoe · Dec 1, 2008, 01:17 PM

Well sense he got married within one month of moving away ask yourself if you really think that this is going to last anyway? Seriously one month together is barely enough time to find out eachothers favorite colors!

Sounds to me like he has some problems in his life and he just had it hardwired into himself that he needed to get married for some reason. I don't think he really cared who it was with.

My advice would be not to get involved at this point. Let things take their course and level out on their own. If they get divorced then don't rush into anything if not then just forget him.

ZoeMarie · Dec 1, 2008, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by icylove831

I am in love with a married man.

To be honest, that's all I read. Leave him alone.

ZoeMarie · Dec 1, 2008, 01:22 PM

OK I read the whole thing and my answer has not changed.

SG92 · Dec 1, 2008, 01:28 PM

Well just leave him alone. If he got married.is for a reason. I know this will hurt u beause u love him. But if u want to see him happy. Just forget about him..

HistorianChick · Dec 1, 2008, 02:25 PM

It sounds like this guy jumped into marriage to spite you. Some people do things to get back at people who have hurt them - this sounds like something done to hurt you, to prove to you that you lost the best thing, to say, well then, scr.w you. (I had an ex do that to me)

As much as it hurts, you may have dodged a bullet with this one. If this truly is why he married after a month of your separation, then really, is that the type of character you admire?

He's married now. Even if he did it for ulterior motives, he IS married. Leave him alone and get on with your life. So sorry. Hope it turns out for the best.