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    dancewithaguita's Avatar
    dancewithaguita Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Nov 30, 2008, 12:32 PM
    "I love you but. I need to do this!"
    Here's the scenario. Girl comes home from trip. Guy doesn't hang out till 2 days later. Guy asks girl to come to lunch with him. Acts like everything is fine and tells family to come to his soccer game later in the week. They go out to lunch... Girl is about to take the first bite when... guy interrupts and says: "ok i have to say something" "This is really hard but I just had to grab my balls and do this." all right what is it...
    Guy goes on a "break" with girl
    Guy is crying and saying he loves her.
    There's not another girl. He hasn't fallen out of love. He just wants to focus on his schoolwork and job. He's a man of survival and all he thinks about is his future. Girl can't be in his future without guy doing well.

    Skip to guy returning girls belongings. He sees her. He says I must be crazy. I want to be with you... But I neeeeed to do this.. I love you. Guy cries like a baby. Guy says his dad doesn't approve of what he's doing but eveyone else does. The only person he looks up to is his dad.

    Skip to 2 weeks ago. Guy texts girl various times . I miss you I wish you were here :( Random texts all the time. Till 5 in the morning. Guy obviously drunk.

    Skip to present moment. Girl decides that she should try to be friends with guy. She says OK lets hang out during the thanksgiving break. Guy and girl live within 15 minutes of each other. Guy replies Yes definitely we have to hang out. Then, Guy totally blows her off to make a long story short.

    Has... guy... lost it completely?
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #2

    Nov 30, 2008, 12:42 PM

    Grammar D:

    But the guy needs his moment...

    Just like when girls say "sorry honey... but I feel I need some space"
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
    		  
    #3

    Nov 30, 2008, 12:44 PM

    Girl has lost it completely, Guy doesn't know what he wants. Girl should move on and live her life, stop waiting for guy.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #4

    Nov 30, 2008, 12:47 PM

    Girl tells guy

    Until you make up your mind what you want. And where you want to go in life. Don't bother calling or being friends

    Girl tells guy. You are up and down more than a brides panties on there honeymoon night

    Girl Tells guy Leave me alone so I can heal and you can heal. Because this is just to complicated

    Girl tells guy. Relationships should be fun.

    Girl tells guy. You want this break fine we stop calling you stop sending me these mixed messages and I don't think it's a good idea that we become friends as its not fair on me. Or on you.


    So bottom line
    Leave the guy he is making a huge mess of things. He has no idea what he wants
    You are not something that should wait around until a person has made up there mind.

    If he needs to do this. Then let him. But tell him to stop contacting you.

    It will be easy for you in the longrun
    dancewithaguita's Avatar
    dancewithaguita Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Nov 30, 2008, 01:03 PM

    Wow. Thanks everyone. That was fast! Haha.
    p.s. its also just weird because we were dating for 3 years and everything was perfect. And now were basically strangers. It's just strange and makes you think about life and love.
    dancewithaguita's Avatar
    dancewithaguita Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Nov 30, 2008, 01:08 PM

    In addition, I have a book there that I really want back. What is the best way to get it back? (Because I want to cut off all contact with him.) Should I do it now, or later?
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #7

    Nov 30, 2008, 01:23 PM

    I'm so with you on the strangeness. It is pretty weired when you go from being together for years and then to no contact.

    But I agree with the others, No contact and a goodbye will do you good.

    How impotant is this book? I have a book at my x bfs place and I really don't want to talk with him... so I'm just going to buy a new one.

    Could you maybe get him to deliver it where you live.. like in your mailbox or something like that? So that you won't have to see him...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
    		  
    #8

    Nov 30, 2008, 01:24 PM

    Can someone you know get the book for you?

    If not then it's best that you get it now and then go to No contact.

    Send him a text and ask that he leave the book in his mailbox for you to pick up. Or ask him to leave it in your mailbox.

    After you get the book don't accept any phone calls, texts or emails from him. You have a right to live your life. He's the one that doesn't know what he wants, that doesn't mean that you should sit around and wait for him to decide.

    Good luck.
    wikedjuggalo's Avatar
    wikedjuggalo Posts: 406, Reputation: 43
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    #9

    Nov 30, 2008, 01:40 PM

    Personally if the book is something you can pick up in another bookstore leave it there is what I If not then I'd follow Altenweg's suggestion here.
    dancewithaguita's Avatar
    dancewithaguita Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Dec 1, 2008, 03:38 PM

    So I asked him for my book back... and he hasn't responded.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
    Senior Member
    		  
    #11

    Dec 1, 2008, 05:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dancewithaguita View Post
    So I asked him for my book back....and he hasn't responded.
    He's being a douche.
    Get a friend with you and get the book back.
    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #12

    Dec 1, 2008, 11:07 PM

    You know something... I honestly wouldn't start trying to figure him out. You're just going to drive yourself crazy and never find an answer.

    I took a break right before I got married to my first wife. She was pregnant at the time and I just needed to go out and find myself. It was something that I knew I had to do on my own. I had spent so much time being a person that others wanted me to be, that I didn't even know myself...

    So, in short... give him the space he's wanting. Yeah, it's going to be hard to move on, but just stay strong. Come back here and post if you start to feel weak... You'll get through this fine...
    SimpleguyJoe's Avatar
    SimpleguyJoe Posts: 302, Reputation: 68
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    #13

    Dec 2, 2008, 04:56 AM

    I would break down his front door and take the book back by force!

    Or just avoid the laws that would require you to break and go to the nearest bookstore and buy a new one... Books are only like $10-20 now a days so unless that book was very special is a mere $20 even worth you breaking no contact

    NO IT'S NOT!
    wikedjuggalo's Avatar
    wikedjuggalo Posts: 406, Reputation: 43
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    #14

    Dec 2, 2008, 09:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by SimpleguyJoe View Post
    I would break down his front door and take the book back by force!

    Or just avoid the laws that would require you to break and go to the nearest bookstore and buy a new one... Books are only like $10-20 now a days so unless that book was very special is a mere $20 even worth you breaking no contact

    NO IT'S NOT!
    That's what I said =D
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #15

    Dec 2, 2008, 08:39 PM

    Option 1: Try to get Book back = grief ,

    Opion 2: Get a new Book = $10 - $20

    The 2nd option just seems to make so much sense :)
    dancewithaguita's Avatar
    dancewithaguita Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
    New Member
    		  
    #16

    Dec 2, 2008, 09:05 PM

    Its actually a text book... on Final Cut Pro. I could go buy a new one but I feel that he should have the decency to give it back to me. Its not the money, it's the principle.
    ... aaand still no response from him.
    So ridiculous.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #17

    Dec 3, 2008, 03:04 PM

    After all that drama, your stuck on a principle?? Girl should buy new book, and disappear.

    Unless you just can't let it go, which is closer to the truth, I suspect.
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