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skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 10:03 AM

For the past few weeks I've felt really lonely and sad. When I'm with my friends I feel a lot better but when I'm alone I feel worse than ever. Everything I do I seem to be bored with now. My ex and I broke up a few months ago and I'm pretty much OK with it now but I'm still very lonely and wish there was someone in my life that really cared about me. Does anyone know what I should do, I'm afraid to try and meet a new girl cause whenever I flirt I feel like I'm just going to come off as a creep or something I don't know y

kctiger · Nov 30, 2008, 10:15 AM

Give it time. I know how you feel. Loneliness is not always a bad thing. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. You just have to learn to be happy with yourself and be content with who you are. As far as talking to girls, just have a casual conversation with them. Don't worry about pulling their number. Chat with them, as if they were a friend.

jenna25 · Nov 30, 2008, 10:51 AM

Sometimes being lonely or alone is okay. You must get to understand yourself first before anything. My advice... try and keep as busy as you can. Go out with friends, work as much as you can and these feelings should go away! And don't be afraid when you are talking to girls, we are human too. Casaul conversation is cool, you don't have to flirt. You will know when the girl you are talking to is feeling you, sao just go from there and take your time. Good luck!

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 11:35 AM

I try to stay busy but lately its just been hard to stay motivated.. I mean its not just the girl thing just everything in general has seemed to gone down hill

JohnD212 · Nov 30, 2008, 11:39 AM

You're at that point after a break up where the pain is gone... but you're left with fresh emotion that has no pain in it. Trust me... you aren't use to that feeling and will try to grasp the emotion you know... which is sad and lonely. Love will find you. Just keep yourself out there and it will come.

Everyone has good days and bad days... even when you're in a loving relationship. We're human... a bunch of electrical impulses and chemicals... of course we have days that are bad. Just know they won't last forever. Good luck and smile!

xxsamxx110 · Nov 30, 2008, 01:48 PM

I know how you feel. I've been single just over a year now. Unfortunately I still feel a lot of pain. At least you got friends there for you.

roxypox · Nov 30, 2008, 02:23 PM

Sam: you have no friends who are there for you? How come?

Skydive: I'm sorry to hear that you are sad and lonely when you're by yourself. But like the others said: be proactive, go out with friends more. Do you have any hobbies that you like to do? I to have gone through periods when I have felt very lonely, what I did was to find something that filled my time: people, hobbies, work, school... now I feel very not lonely when I'm alone. b\c I always have something to do.

I agree with what john said, once the pain of a break up is gone there really is a new rush of emotions that reaches you. And these can be unfamiliar right now and they are different, mostly because they contain no pain.

What are the other aspects that have taken a dive... if I may ask?

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 04:30 PM

Well I snowboard a lot and am sponsored by a company called rome and I recently went out and I was completely unsatisfied and was ready to leave within an hour when I used to be wanting to go all day. It seems like no one really cares about me.. and I no they do I just like fool myself into believing they don't. This whole weekend I haven't really left my house except for work. And I don't know my ex and I hook up all the time still ( which is my fault cause I always start it, but I actaully look forward to it cuase it does make me happy still) I skydive but the seasons over here so I can't go anymore. I don't know I just always have this feeling lingering like things just won't get better. It really all started after the summer ended and everyone left for college. I graduated last may and I go to the local community college now but its almost impossible to meet people there cause everyone has there little clicks (which includes me to cuase I see a lot of kids I went to high school with there)

roxypox · Nov 30, 2008, 04:45 PM

I dislike that with college myself, those little clicks. Within the first month, sometimes the first two weeks people find their click and stick with it... I never wanted a click personally, but I can totally understand that its hard to meet people b\c of it.

Are there any clubs you can join (a club that touches your interests?)

Have you considered if you might be a little depressed?

The lonely feeling
the dissatisfaction with things you used to like
the feeling like no one cares even though you know for a fact that they do.

I don't know about any sites that tell you about depression. I can look for some though.

Of course it might not be depression... so I'm not going to get a head of myself.

Is there a counselor at your school or in your community that you can talk to?

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 04:55 PM

Yea its pretty lame.. I don't know why they woudlnt want more diversity. I would think it would make things more interesting if everyone got a chance to meet. I don't know I have thought that maybe I am a little depressed but I don't know I'm starting to think I'm just afraid of being alone in this world. The way I see it is like in high school all you have to look forward to is what your going to do this weekend and now I'm thinking about my future and there's a lot more pressure. I woudlnt want to see counciler cause 1. I don't have that type of money 2. I would feel like something is horribly wrong with me

JohnD212 · Nov 30, 2008, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by skydive4life

yea its pretty lame.. idk why they woudlnt want more diversity. i would think it would make things more interesting if everyone got a chance to meet. idk i have thought that maybe i am a little depressed but idk im starting to think im just afraid of being alone in this world. the way i see it is like in high school all you have to look forward to is what your going to do this weekend and now im thinking about my future and theres alot more pressure. i woudlnt want to see counciler cause 1. i dont have that type of money 2. i would feel like something is horribly wrong with me

Seeing a therapist actually says more about how much you think of yourself. I would never look at it as a problem. It is very hard sometimes to deal with lifes issues... and believe me... talking to someone who understands you... really can make a BIG difference. Sometimes we don't make good decisions for ourselves because we're caught up in emotions and fears... and a therapist can help sort through that and help you make the right decisions. Just my two cents... :D

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 05:11 PM

I don't want to tell my parents about it cuase they'll over react and think I'm going to kill myself or something. And I don't have money myself to get that kind of help

roxypox · Nov 30, 2008, 05:51 PM

That really is too bad. (that you can't tell your parents and that you don't have the money.) I've been in therapy for 3 1\2 years and I waited for almost 2 years before I told my mom about it (mostly b\c my mom is a pill attict and when she's on pills she can be pretty mean and I didn't want her to use it against me.)

I totally understand if you're thinking about the future and is stressed about it. I know what you're going through. Right now I'm almost done with 2 bachelor degrees and I still wonder if I've made the right choice. Next to school I work part time with kids who have autism and have an incredible gift of understanding kids with special needs and now I think maybe I should have studied this in stead... I can picture myself working with that.

Life issues are hard, sadly, and can be difficult to get through.

kctiger · Nov 30, 2008, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by roxypox

life issues are hard, sadly, and can be difficult to get through.

But... after the hard times the beauty in life always shines through. Just realize there is a reason for everything. In the end, everything will end up being all right. Life sometimes just has a funny (and sometimes sad) way of turning us towards our right path. :)

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 06:33 PM

I'm really glad I decided to post I'm actually starting to feel somewhat better about things.. cause I've been in bad situations too before and it always seems like when you least expect it something amazing can happen.. thank you for spending some time and helping me out.. I really do appreciate it.. I think right now I just need to just take a step back and look at the bright side

h0llister · Nov 30, 2008, 07:03 PM

Just pray!

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 08:10 PM

I'm not a very religious person but maybe I could give it a try

busterite · Nov 30, 2008, 08:15 PM

You just need to see all the good things in your life. Or focus your efforts in changing things in your life that will bring you happiness. I went through a tough break up about 5 months ago and one of the things it taught me is that no matter how crappy the situation is there is always another way you can see things and draw on the positives. Whenever I get those thoughts I always try to divert my attention to something else or just get out and do something.

skydive4life · Nov 30, 2008, 09:00 PM

Its hard to see that good things sometimes

roxypox · Dec 1, 2008, 10:30 AM

Yeah it freally is hard to see the goodthings in life sometimes, and in times that are hard its always nice to beable to talk to someone about it and have them help you to structure your thoughts and what not :)

I'm glad you're feeling better! It sounds like a good idea to step back and see the brighter sides of things. No matter how hard it rains\pours there is usually a silver-lining (hehe or so I've come to feel)

Sometimes it might even be healthy to be sad for a little while (NOT to long though, then it might just fster and harden)