[aedude006]

I know some of you see 3 years and think that's not a lot, but we lived together for three years, I saw her every day. We did everything together and we didn't work full time jobs so we did a lot together she is all I know. She was my first and only true love.

First off we met in high school, we were from different schools. I wasn't really popular at all and she was. Every year was the best year of my life. When we broke up she talked about how she wish things were the way they use to be when I would sneek over to see her and she had more time to see her friends. She also said that the day we went on break she kissed another guy, but all she could think about is me. Although she said she needed her space I went over to her house and talked to her so that she knew how I felt.

I told her I was sorry that few months I have been a little stubborn, that I was sorry I didn't realize how much she meant to me and I should have told her how beautiful she was every day and how much I love her. I also told her about how devistated I was. She got mad because I guess I was making her feel guilty. But we talked a lot and she let me hold her in my arms when she cried a little bit. We also had sex. After sex she said she still might want to see this other guy.

I told her I just want her to be happy, and if she thinks that guy can make her happier than me to go for it, I told her she could see however many guys she wanted and have sex as much as she wanted and I would still be waiting for her because I know she is the one. Although she is not the kind of girl to have sex with people right away we are both eachothers first and only. She said we don't always have things to talk about but I told her no matter who you are with there are only so many stories before you just have the stories you make together.

I also said that I would stay moved in at my moms house, and I could take her on dates and we could start on a new slate. She said she still doesn't know, that she needs time to decide. But every time I ask her if she loves me she says yes, and she gave me a couple kisses, and a good kiss before I left. I asked her on a date to go see a movie in a couple days, she told me she didn't know. She also told me to call her before I go to bed tonight.

Since the break started I have had a really bad pain in my upper stomach, it prevents me from eating or drinking anything. I also am having a really hard time sleeping. Its just so weird I don't have any friends because I spent all my time with her for 3 years. I just know she is the one, no other girl looks attractive to me. I can't go anywhere public because every time I see a family I think of the one I want with her. She is the reason I do everything, the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I go to school to get a job. Everything just seems so pointless if I don't have her to spend my life with. And no I am not suicidal, but I feel like I feel like dying it hurts so bad, again I am not going to kill myself.

And everybody says they've gone through it, but I don't believe you, it hurts so so so so so bad, I can't stop crying. I have never felt pain this bad before. I don't know if I could ever see another girl again. I am 20 years old, how do I make the pain go away, mentally and physically. I want to eat to stay healthy but I can't my stomach hurts too much.

[aedude006]

And I would do anything for her, I would take my life to save hers if I had to. I will wait for her forever.

[TrueFaith]

! What the hell are you doing? GROW A BACK BONE YOU SPINLESS TWIT

I don't care how many guys she sleeps with
I will be waiting for her!

I mean. Do you have any self respect?
Your post has made me SICK

No wonder she left you.. you don't even stand up for yourself
And how you have 0 self confidence!
You are NEEDY

And you MADE HER LIFE>> YOUR LIFE

Which is a HUGE MISTAKE

You would give your life for her?

Oh Grow up with this movie Crap!

Life and Love is not like the movies kid. Its harsh. And we all get into bad places

But the thing we do. Is we stand up for our own rights.
Which you have not done

You have let her walk all over you
And you have bascily said
That whatever she wants to do. Its OK because you will be there

Waiting in the shadows like a pahetic lost PUPPY! I mean who would want someone like that?


Listen to me right now. OK
Get your head out of the clouds.
Get back down to earth

Focus on yourself! And your issue
Forget about this girl
She does not want you.

Get back up and FIGHT.

Its done its over. Move on.
Find a hobby read the stickes on this form.


But really. Grow some balls and have some self respect.
Before you even think about going into another Relationship

I hope you get some confidence.
Because that is the one thing you really... Reall need

[aedude006]

I can't help it, I love her so much,if she needs to I want her to date some other guys so she can see how nobody can can love her as much as I do.

[TrueFaith]

Ohhh. Sod off.

Come back when your head is on right.

I can't talk to you or help you
If you act like this..

If you can't understand what's going on. And what you need to do.. to change

Then Enjoy your mess kid.

No one can love her like I do

Ha! Give me a F@@ING BREAK!

[aedude006]

I'm sorry, it's the only long-term relationship I've ever been in, the only girl I have had sex with, the only girl I have ever made out with or even french kissed

[DeleteAndBan]

Believe it or not, this is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you! (in the long run)

p.s. truefaith your post made me laugh.kudo's for your involvement. :D

[kctiger]

I know it is hard, but you are pretty wrapped up in emotions right now, which can't allow you to think clearly. Like True said, read the stickies on this forum. It is hard and the first love is of course especially hard. Get all of your emotions out and then you can truly start to heal. I am sorry for your loss. It sucks, we all know it does. You are, however, still alive. Life won't stop and niether can you.

[aedude006]

I know, reading these posts are the only think that have slightly cured my stomach ache. And I do believe that someday I could get over her I just think my problem is that I don't want to, like I said this is my first everything, I don't know what else is out there and this isn't helping myself esteem any. But writing about it is going to help me, and talking about to is going to help me get over her. She told me she still loves me and gives me a kiss afterwards. If she told me she didn't love me anymore it would make everything a little easier because then there is nothing I can do about it.

[kctiger]

[QUOTE=aedude006;1399855] She is the reason I do everything, the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I go to school to get a job. Everything just seems so pointless if I don't have her to spend my life with. QUOTE]

This is a problem. Do things for yourself, to make yourself better. Never live your life for the sole purpose of benefiting someone else.

[aedude006]

Another thing that sucks is the main way to meet girls around here is to party, and I don't drink, I don't do drugs...

[kctiger]

Don't look for closure, otherwise you will just drive yourself nuts. Find peace within yourself... find happiness within yourself.

[aedude006]

But that's what I want to do, when I see her happy it makes me feel happy

[kctiger]

Man up and quit acting like this! It isn't healthy. Her happiness has NOTHING to do with you, and vice versa. NO relationship works like that. You cannot love someone more than you love yourself otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail.

[aedude006]

So if I love her more than I love myself its going to fail and I should try and find somebody I love less?

[kctiger]

Damn... how old are you?? No, you shouldn't find anyone else. Everyone on here is here to help you get through this. My point is clear: learn to love yourself and learn to be happy with you. Don't rely on others to make you happy or validate your own happiness. Do NOT get in another relationship until you can learn this. You will continue to make the same mistake because you rely to heavily on the acceptance of others.

[aedude006]

But part of the problem of the relationship is that I cared too much about myself and my happiness and what I want, and not enough about her and her needs. My problems were I couldn't always find something to go out and do with her, and I never had anything to talk to her about

[aedude006]

And I get why I shouldn't have said I'll wait for her forever but I already said it, what can I do about it?

[kctiger]

Don't do anything about it. Just quit contacting her and start rebuilding your life without her. Don't worry about things you cannot control (i.e. her)

[aedude006]

I'm sorry I didn't make this clear but we are on a break, not broken up,