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My middle adult son won't talk to me
I raised my 3 kids on my own. When my husband left I had a small part time job and no college education. My kids were very young. 9, 7 and 3 at the time. I knew I had to do something and quick to make a living and take care of my kids. So I enrolled in community college and took a two year course that would help me make a life for my family and I continued working part time in the evenings. One month after graduating I found a great job and it supported my family. My ex did not provide child support and so it was tough at times making ends meet on one salary. But we managed. I knew my middle son was having struggles as he reached his teenage years and I did all I could to get him through it. He is a very smart young man. Extremely quiet. Occasionally he would sit and talk to me. I enrolled him in karate lessons and he really liked it. He stayed in karate all through high school. After graduation, he worked for a bit. He met a nice girl and they dated for about a year. Then they broke up. It seemed as though he took it really hard. He came to me with tears in his eyes and asked me questions about what I thought and really talked to me about how he felt. Then about 2 weeks later, he joined the airforce for 6 years without talking to me. Just came home and told me he had done it. Then about a week later he met this girl that he brought home without me knowing. Then within the next week they were married. My head was spinning. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know this girl at all. My daughter and son and I were really surprised.:eek: So now he is married and has 3 children. He's 26 now. I was there for all the kids births to help out and do what I could. Then a couple of years ago he calls me one morning and says Mom I'm getting deployed. His wife had just delivered their 3rd child and he was very concerned that she wouldn't be able to manage on her own with the 3 kids. I offered to have them come and stay with me while he was out of the usa. Long story short, they all came and stayed for about 4 months and then left. There was so much craziness that went on during that 4 months, I don't even know where to begin.I guess the worst thing that happened was when my son's wife tried to have my daughters boy friend come on to her while my daughter and I were at work. After that it was all down hill from there. While my son was gone, his wife experienced depression and had trouble with parenting. I really tried helping her as much as I could while maintaining my full time job. I tried to write my son letters asking him if he had any ideas on how I could help her. My daughter in law was fine with just me. We would do things together with the kids and all was well. But she was mean to my disabled son and his girl friend. She would yell at them. And she tried to say mean things to me about my daughter. It was the most stressful 4 months I have ever had to deal with. All this to say, now my son won't talk to us. Not just us, mom, sister and brother, but also his long time childhood friends. He doesn't talk to anyone. It's been since 2006. Just about 2 months ago he started emailing my daughter and he has called her a couple of times. I have been through hell trying to cope with this. I have had so many different mixed emotions. I go from anger, to concerned, to hurt, to deeply sad, to trying to understand, and back to anger. Right now, I'm stuck in anger and can't seem to get out of it. How can I let go of this and move on in my life? I feel like part of my heart is missing and it is starting to affect my other relationships. I need some coping skills. Thanks for listening!
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Originally Posted by bbrauner
