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amandawomble · Nov 27, 2008, 12:42 PM

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years coming up this Jan. . Every now and then we've been going through those bumps in the road. I have never felt this way about anyone. I love this man so much. I moved in and we became engaged. Recently I was feeling since we had been going through so much stuf that maybe we weren't ready to get married. I don't want to be one of those couples that has something good and then gets married and gets divorced. I want to marry this man, there's no doubt. We work together at a pizza place. And this guy who was supposed to be my bfs friend ( he wasn't too good a friend) came and worked at the pizza place for a while . Well during the bumps in the road I began to feel ignored by my bf(fiance at the time) , I really did feel ignored. I even felt lonely. I don't have many friends, but honestly all I want is him. When he didn't listen to me when I was talking or it looked like he wasn't listening, or eveytime I ask him out hed say no even when I was goinig to pay for everything. And sometimes I feel criticized by him, it could be harmless but I don't know I think about things a lot... and I just got to thinking about it at work one day and I got so mad. I don't know what I was thinking but , this guyy that was supposed to be my mans friend , seemed like he was paying me a lot of attention at work, I flirted with him one time at work, just ine time, it wasn't even a sexual type of flirting, I just laughed a lot and I guess I opened the door for him to think I was up fpr grabs or would be eventually... I was stupid to do that and I knew that after the coming days, one nihgt we played poker at my house after his girlfriend broke up with him, I felt like I was comforting a friend when I was talking to him, and I didn't flirt with him this night but he kept trying to flirt with me or so it seemed, he couldve just been drunk but, he claims I made him feel uncomfortable, that's wrong. I didn't say anything to him that would make him feel that way! And my fiancé was there ! I am not that kind of person! Then the next night -im a delivery driver and I got my car stuck in someone's yard, I tried calling eveyone I knew to help me , at tthis time my phone was dying, I can't remember but I think I was calling my boyfriend right when my phone died , he thinks I didn't try to call , so I went to my delivery customers home and used their phone to call work and they called this guy that's supposed to be the friend, I didn't ask them to call him! He showed up and helped me, then they call my boyfriend and he comes out , and the friend automatically apologizes and said soething like I hope it don't look weird. Nothing even happened! Well that day I promised the guy id take him some pills, so I went and got them that night after my car incident and took them to him, first I went to the liqour store then I got the pills then I went theere to his house (WHERE HIS PARENTS WeRE AWAKE!) OK I ended up talking to the guy about his ex girlfriend for like an hour or more, he kept asking me what I want in life and I say I wanted to be successful and then he makes the comment- if you and him don't work out , call me up... I left after he said that , when I got home I was reluctant to tell my boyfriend , I was scared what I had done with the flirting that one time.. it looks bad , I tried to put myself in his position, I was be freaking out- I understand , but I didn't cheat on him , and I love him, I love him so much but now he don't trust me he says he never will I hurt him like no other and he doesn't want to marry me anymore and I just want to know how I can make things right, I nevre meant to hurt him , I love him so much. I want him to know he CAN trust me and I would do anything for him I will be there for him anytime and I know I did wrong I just want to make things better... help me please.. I don't know what id do without him.

jmw0713 · Nov 27, 2008, 12:51 PM

If you want to get the trust back, which is very hard to do, you need to STOP TALKING TO THIS GUY. Avoid him at all costs, and pay more attention to your BF.

Did you guys break off the engagement? If you did, this may have something to do with it as well.

jmw0713 · Nov 27, 2008, 12:52 PM

If you want to get the trust back, which is very hard to do, you need to STOP TALKING TO THIS GUY. Avoid him at all costs, and pay more attention to your BF.

Did you guys break off the engagement? If you did, this may have something to do with it as well.

talaniman · Nov 28, 2008, 07:30 AM

I honestly think he overreacted, and there is nothing you can do, but leave this other guy alone, and let your b/f calm down, and get a lot more reasonable, so you can talk. I assume your still living together right?

amandawomble · Nov 28, 2008, 02:26 PM

Yes we're living together and I'm the one who called the engagement off, I didn't think we were ready with all the problems we'd been having, and as far as the guy goes- after he said that to me I didn't talk to him at all- the guy moved also - so that was a relief for my boyfriend I think. I dunno- I can see my boyfriend in my future like- I could see us getting married- I don't think he thinks so anymore, but I can still see it- we just have to work out our kinks, that's all I think- but I was just trying to say we should wait longer , but it all went down the wrong way...

lmnotok · Nov 28, 2008, 11:30 PM

I think your boyfriend overreacted too. That was no big deal...

Just look at the whole picture: he made you feel like being ignored, and stuff, and he just based on a flirt to say he doesn't trust you anymore. This is EITHER ridiculous OR he wanted to leave you long time ago and just found a reason to do so.

So if he said he doesn't want a marriage, then why bother? Do you want to force your love to do things he Doesn't want? If you love someone enough, just set them free.

About you, I think you should gain or learn how to gain some self-esteem. Love yourself more to focus on your life. Leave the guys alone, live your life.