[maria16]

So I met this guy over 3 years ago, and I kind of liked him at the time but I wasn't ready to date, we were in a complicated environment, so we just settled into a friendship. Over the years he has been acting more and more interested in me, asking me personal relationship/love questions, initiating contact, etc.

I realized a while ago that I really like him a lot more than just a friend, and we talked about it but he said I misunderstood his attention and that he just like me as a friend.

I'm confused.. He made it clear now but how could I really misinterpret everything for so long?

Also, it's nice that things are not too weird between now but I'm still unhappy... I don't want to lose the friendship but it still feels like much more to me.

Any insights?

[jmw0713]

Don't make your life revolve around this guy. Find some balance by hanging out with him AND other friends. That way you can keep your attachment to him in check. Also, if he doesn't want a BF/GF relationship with you, and that seems to be what your looking for, go find some new guy friends and try there.

You don't have to take him out of your life... BUT you need to realize that he only want to be friends. So you need to treat him as one.

[TOTALREASON]

Well. We all know once you cross that bridge, there is no going back. I mean you can try, but it will never be the same. And getting involved with a friend is the most quick way to lose them. I by no means want to scare you or anything. Its just if you really like having this friend, it can be confusing when your feelings for them grow. If he told you your just a friend,then that's what he has in mind. He might be worried about the same thing as you for all we know. But as a guy, I can tell you, he probably doesn't want to lose his friend either, and is scared to complicate things. This sounds like a good guy, cause he told you straight up his intentions were friend- oriented. And you def. don't want to lose someone of this integrity. An a-hole guy would use this as an opportunity to "use you, then lose you" after they got what they wanted. But he has told you " friends only" . I say don't wreck a good thing. Be his friend, love him, enjoy his company. And know you have an honest guy-friend. And who knows. If you don't pressure him into a relationship,maybe he will come-around eventually, and heat things up. But beware!! You might lose the best friend you got in the process. Hope you get it figured out! Have a good holiday

That's totalreasons two cents

[talaniman]

Sometimes we read things the way we want them to be, not the way they are. But now you know, and can adjust your thinking.

[maria16]

Thanks everyone, this really helped. I have been losing perspective and getting too attached, it'll be good for me to hang out with other friends for a bit and let both of us have some space.
Who knows what'll happen in the future but for now I need to just appreciate what we already have and move on (so much easier said than done)

Thanks again

[maria16]

But why does he have to keep on calling/visiting me every 2 minutes? I enjoy it and don't want him to stop or back off... but why, especially since he knows how I feel.

[EN Ken]

It's possible that he likes the attention he's getting from you because you like him. I know that when I was younger I did something similar. Looking back I regret doing it because it led the girl involved on, but being around a girl who likes you feels really good which is why I did it.

[talaniman]

He likes the attention you give him. Don't read a lot into that, he simply likes you as a friend. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you tell your friend nicely.