[Wildcat21]

This is from a David Deangelo article - lots of guys who come here need this... IS HE RIGHT LADIES>>>>>>

"You can't bore a woman into feeling attracted
to you..."

I realize that this may sound like an obvious
statement, but judging by the emails that I get
week in and week out, maybe it's not as obvious as
it might seem to some guys.

In fact, when I think back on my own
experiences with women, I am DEFINITELY guilty of
trying to bore women into feeling attracted to
me...

So, what do I mean by this silly sounding
statement?

Well, let's start with some ideas that I hear
in one form or another all the time.

"I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she
didn't call me back, and I can't reach her..."

"I don't want to use any 'techniques' with women
because I feel like that would be 'manipulating'
her..."

"I want a girl who will like me for who I am..."

"I give her everything she wants, take her out,
buy her things, and I don't understand why she
doesn't feel the same way towards me that I feel
towards her..."

"She tells me that she only likes me as a friend,
then she goes out with these guys who treat her
like crap instead of going out with a guy like me
that would treat her wonderfully and give her
everything she wants..."

And the list goes on and on...

Now, I realize that these statements are
actually different from each other, and deal with
different issues. But the common denominator in
each of them is:

YOU'RE NOT BEHAVING IN A WAY THAT IS PUSHING
HER ATTRACTION BUTTONS. IN MOST OF THESE CASES,
YOU'RE GUILTY OF TRYING TO BORE HER INTO FEELING
ATTRACTED TO YOU.

I got one letter recently where a guy was
telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date,
but that there wasn't any "spark"... but he still
felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think
that just because nothing obvious was BAD about
the date, that this girl should also feel
attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few
more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her
to open her eyes and see the light).

Here are a few common problems that lead to
"BORING DATE-ITIS":

1. Playing it "safe". Following her lead, not
saying anything that you think will upset her and
making sure that you're "proper".

2. Talking about BORING things. Like jobs, family,
weather, etc. because it's "what people talk about
to get to know each other."

3. Being boring.


PLAYING IT SAFE

I can remember when I thought that the proper
way to act on a date was to talk about socially
acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet, and
generally try to make sure that she got whatever
she wanted.

Oh, was this a huge mistake.

Generally speaking, women are BORED TO DEATH BY
THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR.

When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out
to dinner, it's time to have FUN, not to be her
personal *** kisser!

Playing it safe and kissing up to her is a sure
way to get either an expensive relationship or a
woman who won't call you back.

TALKING ABOUT BORING THINGS

Don't talk about your job and your family!

BORING!

Guys who are trying to convince women that
they're "nice", talk about their families (If you
really want to be a loser, carry pictures around
with you and show them off).

Talking about families is "courtship" behavior,
and it will put her into the old "this guy is
boring" frame of mind. Unless you're related to
John F. Kennedy or someone even more interesting,
keep the family history to yourself!


BEING BORING

So, what does a "boring" guy act like?

Well, for starters he acts like he's NOT
COMFORTABLE in the situation...

Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her
opinions all the time. Asking her what she'd like
to do. Holding your body in an unsure, insecure
way.

That's a good start.

Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you've
got the makings for her running as fast as she can
and changing her phone number to save herself from
another one of your boring calls!

So, what's the answer? What's the secret to
making her feel attracted to you and not BORED
OUT OF HER SKULL?

I thought you'd never ask.

Here are a few ideas for starters:

1. Take her somewhere that has a lot going on...
somewhere that has interesting conversation
built in. I like funky areas that have lots of
eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can't walk
through one of these areas without having an
interesting conversation.

There are all kinds of interesting things from
tattoo artists to funky hat shops to ultra-trendy
clothing stores. Most cities have an area like
this, and I'd suggest you go check it out.

2. Talk about something that isn't BORING. One of
my favorite things to do is to get her to talk
about her life, then find things to make fun of.
This is a great opportunity for cocky and
funny...

YOU: "So, tell me something interesting."

HER: "Like what?"

YOU: "What, you can't think of even ONE
interesting thing about yourself or your life? I
think I need to go before this gets any worse..."

You get the idea...

3. If there is a silence, NEVER let it be
uncomfortable. I think that it's great to stop
talking when you're first getting to know a woman.
But don't do it in a way that sends chills up her
spine.

If the conversation goes cold for a few
moments, just pay attention to something else for
a minute. Think about something funny to say and
laugh to yourself. She'll say "What? What are you
laughing about?"... which is a great lead in for
about 1,000 different cocky/funny answers.

If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act
like you're with a friend, act totally casual, and
pick it back up later. Just don't ACT nervous and
uncomfortable!

4. DON'T BE PREDICTABLE. There is an area of the
human brain called "Broca's Region" that is
constantly anticipating what is about to happen,
then discounting the predictable. In other words,
the more predicable you are, the faster you will
be considered BORING.

Learn to say random things. Disagree with
her... (without sounding like a whiny little
girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears
looks like a dog...

If you’re boring, read a couple of books on how
to tell stories. Or get a book on comedy to learn
how to be funny and tell jokes.

JUST DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO AVOID BEING
PREDICTABLE! And do whatever you have to do to
learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION.

OK, I think you're getting the idea.

Women don't want BORING. A woman would rather
be with an interesting, fun guy than with a RICH,
HANDSOME, PREDICTABLE, BORING one (and the women
who want the rich boring guy are often boring
themselves... ).

Once a woman starts to feel that magical,
emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION,
the entire situation changes, and you start having
the kinds of success with women that most men only
dream about.

And most women go through life WISHING, HOPING,
AND DREAMING that they will someday find a man
that can make them feel this amazing feeling...

[jc105]

I agree, and lets not forget that follow through counts also. Once you get them, they are still going to expect some spontanaety (SP). Days, months, and years later.

That's it.

JC

[fredg]

Hey, JC,
Even 29 yrs later! LOL.
She likes to know she is appreciated; we all do.

[Wildcat21]

Even Wildcat screws this stuff up... don't be boring... don't be predictable...

[J_9]

Coming from a woman's point of view Wildcat is totally on target here, he hit the bullseye, so to speak.

One of my favorite first dates was when the man took me to a comedy club :D . How did he know I liked comedy? He was not shy and asked some of my friends what my interests were. When we got there he even ordered my favorite dinner and drinks. That blew me away that he was interested enough to go and surprise me like that.

Another fun first date was to an amusement park. If us girls are a little scared on a rollercoaster :eek: we are going to HANG ON guys. Even if we aren't scared we may hang on to you just for the fun of it.

Just sending a woman's point of view here.

[J_9]

Didn't lose him Dude... We just had our 10th anniversary. Yep, they were both first dates, the very first was the comedy club, then the first day of the next month was the amusement park.

We still try to find reasons to have first dates again and again. Helps to keep what magic that is still there going.

BTW, guys, I don't know if Wildcat ever mentioned this one or not, flowers are nice, we like 'em, but they DIE!! Want to get me something nice? How about a dish garden. A little planter that we can take care of every day. It reminds us not only that you are thoughtful, but you are imaginative.

As these dish gardens grow, we repot them into several little containers and have many plants that remind us of you.

I have a houseful and can look and say "Honey, look how big the palm is! Remember when you got it for me and it was only two inches tall!" Oh, yeah, we will remember the occasion too.:p

[Wildcat21]

Great idea!! I WILL steal that this weekend!!

Ah ha!! So he is a little romatic after all!! You have to remember some of that stuff when the going isn't so easy... but, so does he.

[J_9]

Okay, you got me there, he is a little romantic.

He also shows up at the house every once in a while with some lingere that he thinks is sexy and will put it in the bathroom right before I hop in to take a shower. Sneaky little devil.

[kp2171]

Okay, you got me there, he is a little romantic.

He also shows up at the house every once in a while with some lingere that he thinks is sexy and will put it in the bathroom right before I hop in to take a shower. Sneaky little devil.

great idea. My wife and I have a little joke... basically all I ever want for my birthday is some lingerie (for her, for those who didn't get that) and a little time. =) so yeah, I get panties for my birthday. I'm still smilin'!

[J_9]

I know she may know what you like, but it is fun for you to pick out (for her) what you like. You can surprise her with something a little off the wall and then more fun is in the making.

[valinors_sorrow]

great idea. my wife and i have a little joke... basically all i ever want for my birthday is some lingerie (for her, for those who didnt get that) and a little time. =) so yeah, i get panties for my birthday. im still smilin'!

Good thing you clarified or we might have been thinking cross-dressing is down the hall, second door on the right! LOL What a great idea KP - I may have to use that one in November. Thanks!

We have a thing about birthday presents... the more far out and wackier the better and we both can be kind of off the wall humour-wise!

One year I got several boulders (big ornamental rocks for landscaping) and we joked about my getting the biggest rock I had ever seen.I loved them! This year I got a gun (long story there that some of you know from the "Right To Bear Arms" thread lol) and we are calling it the gift I hope to never use. (Not that guns are a funny but birthday presents are)

Its great to have private traditions!