[hannapowers]

A long time ago she read a book called, "Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child" And when they were younger it suggested longer sleeping periods. She has not changed the sleep schedule since they were small. I spoke to one of her neighbors about this the yesterday and she said she is now getting them up around 6 am, because the blinds are raised at that time. But still being locked in for 12 hours with a potty chair in the dark does sound like child abuse, if they are sleeping the whole time or not! It is the locking them in.

I don't even shut my children s bedroom doors, they are always wide open, they freak if the door is even shut I can't imagine trapping them in their bedrooms with a lock they can't open. Again thank you everyone who is helping me sort out what to say to her, because it needs to be said.

[liz28]

It can be a form of it. Can you take being lock in a dark room with a potty for 12 hours? I know I can't and I don't think 3 4 years old should neither. Is the lock on the outside of the door or on the inside?

Does she have any issues?

[hannapowers]

The lock is on the inside of the door. One of those ones you have to have large hands to press and then turn to be able to open the door. I have friends who use these to keep kids out of rooms, but this is the first one I have seen to keep them in their room.

The lock was added after she took them out of cribs. She told me they get up through out the night and wonder through the house and she thinks it is dangerous, so she locked them in. I think she is just too overwhelmed by them to deal, but if that is the case she needs help.

I couldn't take being locked into any room for 12 hours, if I was asleep or not, I don't even sleep well if my bedroom door is closed. I can't imagine what it is doing to these poor kids.

[hannapowers]

Someone who I thought was my friend, who now isn't is raising her children in a manner I feel is abusive. She locks them into their bedroom which all 3 share, 2 girls one boy. Every night from 5:30 pm to aprox. 7 am. She has a potty chair in the room in case they need to "go". There is a space heater in the room, or was last winter. To top it off the three share a bed, not by choice but because she says. The children are 4 years old. She also refuses to socialize them, she put them in pre-school for a few months, then removed them.

[JudyKayTee]

someone who I thought was my friend, who now isn't is raising her children in a manner I feel is abusive. She locks them into their bedroom which all 3 share, 2 girls one boy. every night from 5:30 pm to aprox. 7 am. she has a potty chair in the room in case they need to "go". There is a space heater in the room, or was last winter. To top it off the three share a bed, not by choice but because she says. the children are 4 years old. She also refuses to socialize them, she put them in pre-school for a few months, then removed them.

My concern is that you posted about this and reading your friend's blog at some length beginning in November and nothing appears to have changed. The posts should be combined for easier understanding of the situation.

If they are being abused you report them to CPS before they are injured - or worse. They will investigate.

I see no other way to handle this. You certainly can't keep turning your head and closing your eyes to the situation.

Perhaps the mother would listen to a third party or family member but I wouldn't chance it.

[Curlyben]

>Threads Merged<
Please keep the same issue to ONE thread for ease.

[hannapowers]

Not sure if they are in danger, just concerned. I forgot about the earlier posts.

[JudyKayTee]

not sure if they are in danger, just concerned. I forgot about the earlier posts.

You said some time ago that she's abusive and you stated it as a fact. You cannot close your eyes to this if you believe the children are in danger.

Someone has to protect them and you are concerned enough to post several times. I think you must do something.

[hannapowers]

Close this question please, there is no easy answer, and I keep wavering about it. This is my personal issue and I am not sure I should have posted anything.

[this8384]

Actually, this is not your personal issue. This is your friend's issue.

I do not see anything wrong whatsoever with 4-year-olds sharing a bed, and I'm not sure why you do. They're brother & sisters who are toddlers; if they were 13, I would take offense to this.

I'm also beginning to question your story. First, it was "she puts them to bed at 6pm." Now, it's "she puts them to bed at 5:30pm." Then you add the bits about there being a potty chair and a space heater in the room. Why didn't you post the entire story, rather than making multiple threads with varying information in them?

The lock is a bit excessive but you already pointed out that the children have a habit of wandering around at night. Would you rather have them safe in their room, or let them wander into the living room and pull the TV on themselves while you're sleeping?

Personally, I think you're taking far too much offense at things that aren't a big deal; you're blowing things out of proportion and making it seem worse than it is. You even wrote in another thread that you "never really liked her":
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/person...me-309282.html
If it bothers you that much, call CPS about the lock. There's not much else that they're going to see wrong.

[hannapowers]

I got it, I need to mind my own business, this last batch of responses has made me not want to use this site anymore, I feel like you are attacking me. I give up, she has a right to parent her children how she sees fit. I was a new user when I first posted the question and didn't know how much info to put into the post. I am leaving this site now. If you can somehow delete me that would be great! I will not report her to CPS, I wish her children success in life and I hope they never get hurt. I hope to never use this site again.

[this8384]

I got it, I need to mind my own business, this last batch of responses has made me not want to use this site anymore, I feel like you are attacking me. I give up, she has a right to parent her children how she sees fit. I was a new user when I first posted the question and didn't know how much info to put into the post. I am leaving this site now. If you can somehow delete me that would be great! I will not report her to CPS, I wish her children success in life and I hope they never get hurt. I hope to never use this site again.

Nobody told you to mind your own business, and nobody attacked you. I'm sorry if you felt that way, but that was never anyone's intention.

The bottom line here is that you're claiming abuse. This is a very serious allegation to make against anyone, and it certainly doesn't paint your point of view in a nice light when you post things like "I never liked her anyway."

If you have actual proof that these children are being mistreated, then you have an obligation to call CPS immediately. However, things like the children sharing a bed are not abuse in any way, shape or form. Just because you choose not to do the same doesn't make her parenting skills wrong; that was my point.

[ScottGem]

In a previous response to this incident I was also concerned about locking the kids in a room. This was the only point that was worrisome. It still is. You were advised to report this abuse. That you didn't and continue to worry about them doesn't shed good light on you. That's why the criticism (not attacks).

If you decide not to use this site in the future that your loss, not ours.

[ScottGem]

I hope to never use this site again.

Cute, you post this after you created the 2Mothers ID. If you truly planned on not using this site, why create another ID? Doing so seriously calls your veractiy and this whole story into question.