[aliciaa-]

Im 14, and I've just started high school, nothing really a problem, but like the people around me just talk and I just loose my temper at them for no reason, I'm easily angered, I punch, I kick, I scratch, I bite and I swear, and lately I've been feeling really up and down, such as I can be really happy, then I can just sink into this fowl mood at wich the point is nobody wants to talk to me because they know they'll get off me, in the last sixth months I've lost one of my friends to suicide, one of them has moved to france the other has moved becuause she got fostered and my parents are always arguing.. does this have something to do with the way I'm acting? I've always been a very stroppy, 'if I don't get it my way... ', easily angered person but its only just started to come out. And please don't say I should talk to my parents, I really do dislike them, have don't for about the past year, the only people I talk to are my friends, but on this situation, they don't know what to do because it hasn't happened to them before. Also I've been through phases where I've just blanked everyone, I just don't want to let anyone in, because I've felt so badly about myself, I've been depressed, upset, had thoughts of killing myself, I've self-harmed before but nobody really knows that. Please help me.. thankyou(:

[Imsospecial]

I feel bad for you. I had a ruff time in high school too. I didn't have a friend die, but I was scared in my freshman year. I always wanted to be an actress, but after my face was scared, it sent me for a loop. I wasn't sure where my life was headed. I was very angry(just like you sound) I had to find a new way to get back on track. I chose writing. Writing helped me get my feelings out. Maybe that is something that you could try. If you don't feel like you can talk to your parents, maybe you can write them a letter to make them understand. Don't give up on them they love you!

[lesha]

Wow, well It sounds like you may be suffering from something called Bipolar Disorder. Please don't be offended if this is not the case. I am not a doctor by any means but do know a few people with this condition.
Everyone has feelings of happiness and sadness once in a while. Feeling high and feeling low are part of life.

But for someone with bipolar disorder (sometimes called manic depression), these feelings can be extreme:

These ups and downs can be too much for a person to cope with.
They can interfere with daily life.
Sometimes they can even be dangerous.
The ups and downs

One day you may feel so depressed that you can't get out of bed. Work may seem impossible.

On another day you may feel great and full of endless energy. You may feel like you're getting a lot done. But other people might think that what you are doing is dangerous and out of control.

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. It can be hard for healthcare providers to diagnose. But it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Learning more about how to manage the condition can help.

It also sounds like you need someone to talk to that maybe don't know you so they can't not judge you :) I remember being a teen myself and not liking my parents eigher, luckily that will change as you grow. But for now if you ever need someone to talk to I would love to lend an ear :) Please do some research on Bipolar and just see if some of the things match up to how you feel. I hope things get better for you. Be strong and try and live day by day :) The teen years are the hardest part of life as you will find out, Things always change and as you grow you will find new ways to cope with everything in better ways. Be strong. :) Hold your head up high :)

[aliciaa-]

Thank you guys! Also I was sitting on the school bus today and every time I felt like punching this guy next to me my fists would tense and they wouldn't stop :| its so annoying, because I don't even know I'm doing it until someone says, 'why are your knuckles going white'

Ill check out that bipolar disorder thing, what do I do when I think that they're all the 'symptoms'? Who do I tell? Can you get medication for it?

I use to write everything down, every page in my school planner just had little lyrics on or poems or soemthing id jot down just to get it off my head.. but the thing is.. none of them made sense, they were just words.. scrambled not scentences

Thank you once again! Xx

[KBC]

thankyou guys! also i was sitting on the school bus today and everytime i felt like punching this guy next to me my fists would tense and they wouldnt stop :| its so annoying, becuase i dont even know im doing it until someone says, 'why are your knuckles going white'

ill check out that bipolar disorder thing, what do i do when i think that theyre all the 'symptoms'? who do i tell? can you get medication for it?

i use to write everything down, every page in my school planner just had little lyrics on or poems or soemthing id jot down just to get it off my head.. but the thing is.. none of them made sense, they were just words .. scrambled not scentences

thankyou once again! xx

Although you are younger than medical doctors like to administer medications for(manic/depression medications have different effects on teens,so I am told)Here are a few sites to look at and make an educated guess for your diagnosis.

Depression Test: Online Depression Self Test and Depression Self Assessment

Bipolar Happens - Bipolar Disorder

Keep posting your ideas and seek help if you feel it is necessary.

KBC

[aliciaa-]

I just had a quick read of those two sites, pretty helpful.. ill read them into detail in a sec

Thanks :)

[lesha]

Well I am glad you are going to take the next step and figure out the cause of all you'r feelings. I think if you find that a lot of the symptoms found in people with Bipolar disorders are the same as how you feel you NEED to seek help from your parents first. I know you don't want them involved BUT they are the ones who can make you a doctors apt and pay for any medications if that is what you need. IF they blow you off and don't help you please go to a school counsoler OR any adult you can talk to about it and see if they can't help. I do believe it is very important for you to see a doctor in this situation... and be completely honest to him on how you are feeling. They can help you and put your life back on track :) So yes there is medicine out there to help you with what you are going through but first you must seek help. Again hang in there and be strong! One day you will get to look back on these days and be thankful you hung in there!! Things will get better! You just have to believe it!!