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    myheart0345's Avatar
    myheart0345 Posts: 34, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 18, 2008, 06:11 PM
    Get his life together... what to believe
    So I was just thinking...
    If a guy breaks up with you and the reason is to get his life together is it possible that his reason can be true? Or is that just an excuse to get out of a relationship?

    Examples of getting his life together - getting a second job, paying off his bills, trying to move forward with his career and turning his hobby of music into something more serious.
    holeinheart21's Avatar
    holeinheart21 Posts: 55, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Nov 18, 2008, 06:20 PM

    Sounds like an excuse. These are all things that he could do with you there... instead of breaking up with you, he could talk to you about it and see if you were going to be supportive of him doing those things. Isn't that the goal of the relationship... to be there through thick and thin, no matter what? This is should be a decision you get to make, not a decision he would make for you.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Nov 18, 2008, 06:45 PM

    It's an excuse and a way of letting you down lighter than just straight out dumping you.

    Sorry!!
    h0llister's Avatar
    h0llister Posts: 335, Reputation: 15
    Full Member
    		  
    #4

    Nov 18, 2008, 07:34 PM

    It might be an excuse but it depends on the relationship.. did you always bug him to spend more time together and stop him from doing what he wants.. if not, then its an excuse.
    myheart0345's Avatar
    myheart0345 Posts: 34, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Nov 18, 2008, 08:03 PM

    Yes I can admit it I was like that. We had a long distance relationship and when he moved closer I got a little clingy. But I have been working on that. Maybe something I should work on more while we are apart
    h0llister's Avatar
    h0llister Posts: 335, Reputation: 15
    Full Member
    		  
    #6

    Nov 18, 2008, 09:08 PM

    Yeah u should do no contact for now and if he does end up missing u , he will realize and want to try again.. if u keep on calling or anything u will just push him away
    myheart0345's Avatar
    myheart0345 Posts: 34, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #7

    Nov 18, 2008, 09:19 PM

    Ahhh!! No contact.. it hurts just thinking about it... but I don't want to push him away anymore than I probably already have... thanks for the advice... im just going to try and take it day by day with no contact
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #8

    Nov 18, 2008, 11:45 PM

    No Contact will let the emotional dust settle, and you can heal.
    myheart0345's Avatar
    myheart0345 Posts: 34, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #9

    Nov 18, 2008, 11:52 PM

    This is so hard. Its only ben a few hours and I'm driving myself crazy..
    I tried going for a walk and I tried renting some movies.. I keep looking at my phone hoping that he would call or at least thinking that I want to call him... I want time to heal but all I can think about is calling him...
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #10

    Nov 19, 2008, 06:46 AM

    Turn your phone off. Your phone is not attached to you. I know it is hard but you have to do something that will not require or allow your mind to start wondering. It will take time to get through this, but it is possible. You have to really try and really want to!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #11

    Nov 19, 2008, 07:17 AM

    NC is the way to go, let everything settle down and you can start to heal and begin your own life
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