[anxious_RN]

Hello all!

I have been having this OVERWHELMING urge to have a baby lately. It seems to be all that I can think about.. 24/7. Me and my boyfriend are in a good committed relationship, I'm in nursing school (2 1/2 years to go) and he's graduating with his bachelors next December. I don't understand why I have been feeling like this? I sometimes cry about it, not having a baby. I want one so badly. I have asked my boyfriend and he wants one too, but he wants to wait until after I graduate (3-4 years.. oh my gosh! I can't imagine feeling this way for that long!) I know that I would be able to financially support the baby, and the baby would have a good life. I wouldn't be a parent struggling with money or anything.

When I was younger I didn't have the best childhood. My boyfriends father is suffering from Alzheimer's and I'm terrified that he won't ever know his grandkid.

I'm NOT looking for responses letting me know I should wait, or I'm too young, or whatever. What I am asking is... does anyone know WHY I feel this way? I know women feel like this many times, but this urge is bad for me. Its getting me depressed. Also, another question, how could I possibly stop this urge from wanting a baby? I don't understand.

Thank you :)

[s2tp]

I have been there! I would say when I was 23 I started getting almost panicked that I wasn't in a serious relationship and I wanted to have a baby. For me I think it was because I growing up I always thought I would have a child by age 19/20 because I wanted to be young while my child was growing up. My mom had my brother when she was 19 and me when she was 21... so I guess that's the norm that I knew.

Eventually I started dating a guy seriously and I was continuously wondering when we could have a child. He was even open for it an we took chances without protection just for chance sakes... well thankfully now it never happened!

I would say I was 24 when it finally stopped nagging me in the back of my mind. Of course I had gone through some drastic changes in that time (loss of my brother and moving to South Korea for the Army) so I figure those things distracted me... but I definitely still remember yearning for a baby so bad.

So now I am 26, still single and no child... sometimes wish to settle down but more so I am SO thankful to have had those years to grow up more and to just really get to enjoy some freedom. I have a friend from elementary that DID get pregnant at 19 and now has 3 children. While she has always loved her children, she always tells me that no matter how ready she thought she was at 19, she wishes she had the freedom I did to get through that yearning stage and enjoyed life more...

So that's my experience. As for how you can stop the yearning.. have you tried to evaluate where this feeling stems from? The obvious answers, i.e. his fathers health, your wanting to provide a better childhood may not be the only answer. Do you think that having a baby will make you feel more complete? What feelings do you expect the baby to make you fulfill?

I am not sure if this is what you are looking for in an answer, but I am sure the experts here will chime in and give you some advice as well =)

Either way.. you certainly seem sound and mature enough to handle a child. I am now an advocate for everyone to wait until 25 to start thinking marriage.. but I know that what works for some doesn't work for all. In the end I say use your most reasonable logic and go with your feeling. Things will work out either way =)

Shelly

[anxious_RN]

Thank you very much for your genuine answer - and sharing your personal experience with this! Where this feeling comes from I don't know. I know for sure that I am excited as ever to be able to give a child a better childhood than I had, and I always think of a million ways that I will do my best to accomplish that.

Other than that I honestly can not think of one reason why I have been feeling like this! I cry and cry and cry, I get so depressed about it. This sounds kind of goofy, but we bought a fish in hopes that it would give me the feeling of someone to care for, but believe it or not that feeling didn't last. :p. Don't get me wrong I love the fish, its just.. not the same. Haha.

I don't press my boyfriend on the issue, I don't want to make my problem his problem, I just pray every night that he will change his mind. I am so ready for a baby. I don't really have many friends, I'm not the biggest social person out there, and I don't really drink or anything, I never feel like it. I just feel like I doin't have much 'growing up' to do. I know, everyone probably thinks that's not ture, and it probably isn't. But that's how I feel. I don't have my 'party years' to live through, I'm past that stage. My drinking and partying stages was when my parents were getting a divorce, when I was 14. Sad, I know.

I just either wish I would be able to conceive (even though I'm on birth control I always hope it won't work), or my boyfriend would change his mind.

I just want to quit having these feelings and don't know how to do this, or why I feel like this.