[neverme]

Okay, to begin, I'm a woman.
I became friends with a man about a year and a half ago, our friendship strengthened overtime, sometimes leading to blurring these 'friend' lines over the past year or thereabouts. I was in a relationship with a woman at the time (yes I know that isn't right but it's the way it is) and cheated on her with him. I have recently, in the past 2-3 months broken up with her and have been with this man a few times since, but with nothing particularly pertinent coming of it.

Basically just want some opinions on the situation please.

[BlackVY]

Ummm... I don't see anything wrong with this situation. You didn't use either person you were with, but had more feelings for this guy than the woman you were with, which led you to cheat. Now you are with him, like you made your choice, and that's it.

Give this relationship time I guess to see what happens with it, and if it doesn't go the way you want it to go, or don't see a future with this guy, but be on your own for a while or find someone new and see how that goes.

[kctiger]

Yeah, I don't really know what you want an opinion about... What is the question?

[talaniman]

You can go, stay, or neither of the above, as your options are what you make them to be.

What is it you want to happen?

[neverme]

I thought I had wrote it in my question, we all used to work in the same bar, I have now stopped working there. My ex and this man don't particularly get on all that well and never have. Though I suspect on her part, at least, its because she may have had suspicions.
I want to know whether it is advisable to pursue this relationship with this man, even though I do really like him, because of all of the complications.
Also do you think I was simply used by him? Considering that nothing has really come of our being together since.
Do you think maybe it was some sort of fantasy thing? i.e. once he could have me with the doors all open he didn't want me
Or do you think that he's just taking it slow?
I know you don't know this guy or anything but what's most likely...
If anyone has any other suggestions or comments Id like to hear them too.. just confused about the whole situation

Thanks.

[neverme]

Okay, to begin, I'm a woman.
I became friends with a man about a year and a half ago, our friendship strengthened overtime, sometimes leading to blurring these 'friend' lines over the past year or thereabouts. I was in a relationship with a woman at the time (yes I know that isn't right but it's the way it is) and cheated on her with him. I have recently, in the past 2-3 months broken up with her and have been with this man a few times since, but with nothing particularly pertinent coming of it.
We all used to work in the same bar, I have now stopped working there. My ex and this man don't particularly get on all that well and never have. Though I suspect on her part, at least, its because she may have had suspicions.
I want to know whether it is advisable to pursue this relationship with this man, even though I do really like him, because of all of the complications.
Also do you think I was simply used by him? Considering that nothing has really come of our being together since.
Do you think maybe it was some sort of fantasy thing? i.e. once he could have me with the doors all open he didn't want me
Or do you think that he's just taking it slow?
I know you don't know this guy or anything but what's most likely...
If anyone has any other suggestions or comments Id like to hear them too.. just confused about the whole situation

Thanks.

[pauly7]

I think you should just talk to him, ask him what's up.

The best person to answer your question would be him.

Hope this dosetn sound mean!

[neverme]

No not mean at all.. thats what I've been thinking really.. just considering all that's gone on recently not really in the mood to be rejected.. so I wanted to see if anyone has some insight or like-experiences.. although it's a complicated one so...

[Alty]

You cheated and now the guy you cheated with is giving you the cold shoulder.

I have to say, the most important thing in a relationship is communication. None of us can tell you how he's feeling, only he can.

Talk to him. Worst case scenario, he's not that into you. Best case, he's taking things slow.

You won't know until you ask.

Oh, and stop cheating. If you're intersted in someone else then break off your current relationship. Being cheated on hurts, think about how you would feel. Okay?

Good luck.

[neverme]

Altenweg,
Thanks for the advice.. I had never before and would definitely never again, cheat. I completely agree with your statement on that front.

[talaniman]

I'm confused, so correct me if I'm wrong, but did you have sex early on, and then he sort of lost interest?? Has his attentions diminished? Help me understand what you mean, as if he was using you, what makes you think that. Need info, and some background. How old are you and how long was your relationship, and are you bi?

[friend4u178]

I have to agree with the others and say you need to ask him.

You seem to be worried he may reject you but that's just part of life and at least you'll know where you stand and won't waste anymore time on him if that's the case.

And just on a side note (I'm curious) if you were to get with him , has your liking for women subsided completely?

[neverme]

Ya, I will talk to him, just wanted to see what people thought.
I am attracted to both sexes, but whether I still am attracted women or not is irrelevant. My relationship with this particular woman did not work out. Although I cheated, which I regret hugely! at the end of this relationship. I am capable of being faithful and attracted to both sexes... its known as bisexuality.

[neverme]

No, I didn't sleep with him until I was single, we had kissed before that, sporadically over a couple of months (no I am not proud of this) I'm 22 the relationship with the my ex went on for nearly two years, yes I'm bi.
Thanks for your interest, if I can help make it clearer any more let me know.

[talaniman]

I think you take it for what it is, since you feel its not working for you. Just don't invest any more time, and emotion, in something your partner isn't. (or potential partner)