[omega_red_08]

I have a new girlfriend because my ex was basically mooching off me. I have a hard time saying no to people I care about. Just so I don't make the same mistake twice; what expenses should I be responsible for in a relationship? I do make more money than her but I also have twice the bills.

I have no problem paying for her on dates but where should I draw the line? For example, she has like 10 bucks left in her account until she gets paid at the end of the month and she says she needs a haircut, hair dye and fingernail polish. I have the money but do I have to buy the stuff? I figured I could ask her to pay me back but I know she won't have enough to pay me back. I think if I start doing things like this it will end up like my last relationship.

[kctiger]

Are you guys married? I wasn't aware, that until you are, finances become involved. No way should you pay for a $100 salon visit man. That ain't fair at all.

[omega_red_08]

No not married just been dating for about 2 months.

The thing is I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't buy. I'm scared to go to any type of store with her because she always wants something. I feel bad that she can't afford these things but why should I have to buy them for her?

[kctiger]

You shouldn't, and have no obligation to. That is the beauty of life, if people want to buy something, they can save up the money themselves and buy them. Besides random gifts and such, the only thing I usually bought for my ex was dinner and or the 'date' night stuff.

[spitvenom]

After dating for only 2 months paying for dates is fine. Paying for nails and hair not fine. You do this now and you will be back in the same position you just got out of.

[Romefalls19]

Nope, you don't have to pay for any of that stuff. Not until you are living together and are engaged/married do you make the decision if you should merge incomes and all that stuff

[omega_red_08]

Well we live together but have not made any plans to get married.

[kctiger]

Living together still does not constitute financial obligations towards the other, except for bills. You are still individuals trying to feel each other out, in no way should one be financially dependent on the other right now.

[wikedjuggalo]

I'd go with no and I'm the same damn way when it comes to not being able to say no. What worries isn't your urge to buy the things but the rate at which she asks for things. Keep an eye on that.

[omega_red_08]

Well so far she asks for something at a steady pace. Just this weekend I wanted to go see a movie with her and she made the remark she would rather get an outfit. That made me upset.

[spitvenom]

Just this weekend I wanted to go see a movie with her and she made the remark she would rather get an outfit. That made me upset.

DUDE. Need I say more!!

[wikedjuggalo]

Well so far she asks for something at a steady pace. Just this weekend I wanted to go see a movie with her and she made the remark she would rather get an outfit. That made me upset.

Yeah man got two choices in my eyes. Establish a line or let it go. Seems she is after a suger daddy in my eyes but only you know if she is or isn't.

[ZoeMarie]

Well so far she asks for something at a steady pace. Just this weekend I wanted to go see a movie with her and she made the remark she would rather get an outfit. That made me upset.

Totally unacceptable. Please tell me you didn't buy her an outfit. Tell me you explained to her that you wanted to go the movies so that you could both enjoy it and for her to suggest you need to buy her clothes instead is selfish. I'm not trying to be an a$$ but I would never ask my husband to pay for me to get my hair colored or to get my nails done. Not only is this not your responsibility to pay for it but this isn't even a need, it's a want. It drives me crazy when girls take advantage of guys like that.

[ZoeMarie]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ll-266690.html

Don't fall into the same kind of trap.

[BlackVY]

From my point if view, if she can't afford a necessity, then yeah, you can help her out, but if its stuff she doesn't need, stuff that's just for fun or because she feels like having it, then nah, I'd say she has to wait... That's what I do in my relationship... makes sense to me...

[myheart0345]

You really need to draw the line. If she doesn't like it than she can go find a sugar daddy because that's what it sounds like she needs. If she only has 10 bucks in her account she can wait to get her hair and nails done its not like its an emergency or anything. If it was than I would help her out.

[cowboy107]

Wow, go listen to some Kanye West, you know what song I'm talking about. Just 2 months in, and a remark like that!
She's using you, make a stand and then you'll see her true side.
I don't know bro, but this spells bad news from my side of the fence...

[neverme]

Its nice to be nice but you are not IN ANY WAY obliged to pay for anything EVER. Period.

[holeinheart21]

Speaking from personal experience, if you start doing that for her, then she will expect it rather than appreciate it. I am able to look back now and realize that, and that is something I will take with me from this point forward.

If she would rather have something materialistic instead of spending time with you, then she needs to get her priorities straight.

It is good for you to do things here and there for her, on your own will, to surprise her, but there is no excuse for her picking an outfit over you.

[omega_red_08]

Thanks for the responses.

My yearly salary is about average for the state I'm from. I guess because I never splurge and only by stuff I need, she thinks I'm hording my money somewhere.