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ellarelli · Nov 16, 2008, 10:46 PM

Hello,

I'm looking for some insight on a current issue I'm facing.

Here goes, I've been involved in an platonic relationship off and on with this guy for about 13 years now.

But, for the past year and a half we have become closer than we ever had been before.

I have always had strong feelings for him since the first time we met which was 19 years ago.

I'm in a position now where I'm am very much in love with him and scared to address that I want more of an commitment because I don't feel he's ready for that.

So, I'm just asking for your thoughts on the subject that can shed some light on my dilema.

Thank you and it is greatly appreciated!

Paola_17 · Nov 16, 2008, 10:54 PM

Well in my opinion 13 years is a pretty long time and by now he should have some idea of where he might want to take things with you. But again always keep your options open because you can't be waiting around for anyone. If you wish you could ask him how feels towards you. I believe you have the right to know. :cool: but try not to pressure the guy, they get scared... :p

ellarelli · Nov 16, 2008, 11:05 PM

Thank you for your advice Paola, but that's my problem I'm afraid to directly approach the subject only because after all this time and he tells me that he's not ready for something more than I would have to let him go and the friendship and I value our friendship. Our friendship is what makes us so good together. I know I won't be able to stay friends with him not loving him the way that I do now.

Paola_17 · Nov 16, 2008, 11:13 PM

Well its always better to take the risk then keep on wondering what if.
What if you would have asked him
What if he feels the same...
Unless u approach him about the situation, you would never really know.
I know you might feel afraid about asking him because you are not sure
Of what his reaction might be, but if you really feel for this guy, you should take your chances.. . because you never know. Besides whatever way he feels about the situation it would make things clear to you, if you should move on to something new, or wait until he's ready.

talaniman · Nov 17, 2008, 10:56 AM

After all these years, if you have no honest communications, and are not willing to take a risk, then you will always be on the outside looking in.

You will either continue as friends, let each other go, or come to a conclusion, that has to be dealt with.

However it ends up, at least you can make a plan for your future.