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msart85 · Nov 13, 2008, 11:43 PM

I've been dating a guy who I really love for over four years now. We decided to stop seeing each other for 3 months, so we could both focus on ourselves, and take time to figure out what we want as individuals from our relationship. We both agreed we wouldn't sleep around or date other people, just take some "me time". It has barely been a week and the no contact thing is killing me. I feel like my best friend is gone. I want to talk to him so bad. Three months seems like forever, it didn't seem so far away when I brought it up to him. How do I keep myself from contacting him? :(

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 06:54 AM

Realize first and foremost, and don't get mad when I say this, but the "find ourselves" excuse for a break is bs. You guys DO NOT need a break to figure out if you want to be together. You need to prepare yourself to face the reality that this may be the end of the road for your relationship. By doing this, you will learn to "find yourself" as you start becomng less dependent on him and more focused on yourself. Fill your life up with things you want to do to make yourself better. At the end of the three months, if it is truly meant to be (and I would be skeptical), you will be a much better partner because you chose to work on yourself rather than focus on him or the relationship.

Romefalls19 · Nov 14, 2008, 07:11 AM

I agree with KC, that whole "find outselves" is BULL! My question to you, every time something gets to hard for him, is he going to say we need to break? A relationship is a commitment to each other, to be there through good and bad. Not to abandon the ship when the seas get rough. Not to mention my relationship on here again, but if I gave up every time it got hard(and believe me, we have faced A LOT harder than anyone I know) we wouldn't be engaged and living together while being happy. You make sacrifices, you push to make it work when it needs to.

talaniman · Nov 14, 2008, 07:55 AM

I have to agree with the others, as if you need a 3 month break to find yourself, then the relationship is probably lost.

To answer your question though, stay busy!

Dragonfly1234 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:25 AM

Get a big calendar, everyday that passes, mark it with an X, do this everyday and everyday tell yourself that you cannot break the chain!

msart85 · Nov 14, 2008, 11:16 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I have to agree with the others, as if you need a 3 month break to find yourself, then the relationship is probably lost.

To answer your question though, stay busy!

Do you guys think 2 months is too long? I almost thought about contacting him in about 1 month and seeing if he wants to talk. The three month thing was my idea, and now I'm kind of regretting it (I was really crying when we had this talk). We have gone through much harder things, but both of us are frustrated. He said he's not interested in seeing anyone else, and I'm not either. The whole thing is just confusing... :(