[Seezah]

Okay, I'm trying my luck by posting here. :) After reading all of these posts, I just got to wondering what you all out there might make of my situation.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for two and a half years. We're both rather young; around 23ish. This was also our first "serious" relationship.

Anyway, we'd been living together for a while. However, we were more or less forced to live together because of a lot of different circumstances that I'd rather not go into detail about. I believe that this "forced" living together was what started to strangle the relationship. We weren't ready for it, and it was thrust upon us much too quickly.

Fast-forward a bit. My boyfriend has just finished university and has landed what is pretty much his dream job. Before he starts his job though, he wants to go travelling. I, obviously, cannot go because I'm still working on my degree. I don't raise any complaints though. I know that my boyfriend has always had a case of wanderlust (as do I), so I let him go (and made him promise to take a lot of pictures. :P).

He leaves and is on his own, travelling/backpacking overseas for a month. About half-way through his trip, I notice that he's responding to me differently over the phone. I start to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Previously I had been really excited about his return, but now I was starting to dread it.

So he arrives back home after a month of being away exploring. I hug him... but he doesn't hug me back. My stomach flip-flops. We sit down, and we talk.

He tells me that he didn't miss me while he was away on his trip. He tells me that he isn't "in love" with me anymore, and that he hasn't been in love with me for a few months. He tells me that he feels like he's been living a lie.

This, of course, was a lot for me to swallow all at once. I love this guy with every ounce of my being. Anyway, over the course of the next few days, we talk about the situation a little more.

I ask him if we're officially broken up. I'm met with the answer: "For now."

I ask if we'll get back together, he says that he doesn't know. However, he tells me not to hesitate if someone else comes along to make me happy, and that yes, he may regret this choice.

He tells me that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. He's started his new job, and ultimately just wants to be "free." Almost like starting a new chapter in a book. Perfect timing to ditch a girl.

We're still going to remain friends, and I even helped him move his things out of our apartment. It's strange though. I really just get the feeling that he's confused, possibly afraid, and really doesn't know what he wants.

The romantic in me wants to wait loyally for him. However, the realist in me says no. If I wait I'm just going to hurt more and possibly go insane. I can't put my life on pause for him. /I'm/ important too.

Right now I'm just giving him space, and giving him time to think. I think that him moving out was the first step in the right direction. Maybe we can make amends and rekindle the relationship. Hell, I'm probably one of the most understanding girls out there. :) I mean, we got along fantastically when we were together. I just don't think that he was ready to settle and was afraid of me being "the one."

However, with that all said, if he loses me forever, it's his own fault. There's no one else in the world quite like me, and I know I'm a desirable person. I love him, but I'm not going to waste my life pining over him and living off the chance that we may get back together.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

I honestly couldn't give you any advice that you haven't already given yourself. You have a very good grasp on the situation and understand it from a logical stand point. I'm impressed by the way you think as well as the way you have expressed your feelings and thoughts through writing. No doubt in my mind you are quite the catch...

All I can really say (not that you haven't already said it) is that he may or may not come back, and that in the meantime you can't put your life on pause for him... live your life like it's over. He even admits that he might live to regret this, and my thoughts are that he probably will.

All the best

[Seezah]

Thanks, NNG. :) I've got to say that my friends and family have been a great help. I've had almost two weeks to chew on the issue now, and even the guy said he was surprised by how well I was handling the situation. I'm his first ex that he hasn't cut off all contact with, so I guess that says something.

We're both rather logical people, which is why we got along so well in the first place. Both geeks, I suppose. Unfortunately, we can also both be pretty stubborn. So yes, maybe, maybe not.