[JudyKayTee]

One question, what can be done about ex parte communication?

Last Thursday, my ex's attorney sent a letter exclusive to the GAL about me and the reasons that I should not be granted sole custody. In the end, the letter back fired on their side because it was unethical and the GAL forwarded a copy of the letter to my attorney, we do not plan on addressing the letter, because the judge will never see it (as of this point in time). Can I file anything against his attorney personally... I know that Family Law Attorneys do not like to ruffle feathers, for the ex parte communication, since I believe it is illegal. Am I correct? or is it just unethical?

Me? I'd leave it at least for the time being. You're winning (very obviously, congratulations). Sometimes it's best to pick your battles. I'd save it, of course, and wait and see what happens next. It looks like the Attorney did more harm to herself and her client than you ever even considered! :D

(Can't believe the Attorney was so stupid but nothing should surprise me any more.)

[Justwantfair]

Oh it was BEYOND stupid.

She claimed things on her clients behalf that couldn't even make sense, just to muddy the waters. For example, that my child hasn't ever had toys until the custody battle, that I would lock her up in her room and not allow the blinds to be opened. Her client is mentally challenged, but I can't imagine as an attorney writing this stuff down when it makes NO sense. There were one or two true statements that could have been relevant if she hadn't thrown in all of the other accusations that muck up the whole document.

I guess my concern is, now I am just waiting to see if he will decide to take it to trial, although his attorney was told they don't stand a chance. If he is paying his bill, she will take it, but I just feel like with his mental condition, she has just been robbing him blind and he doesn't get it. I mean a divorce that took four and a half years, now this custody situation that has been on going for about six months. Writing a twelve page BOGUS letter just to bill him for it. Every time we go to court she has a new petitions or one time she had FIVE. He has been paying for subpoenas for police records, a letter to my attorney about situations that had all been remedied. Seems like a scam on his attorney's part, but it is costing me as well although she is just out for her buck.

[JudyKayTee]

I know - and defending is pretty much the cost of doing business. I'd still let him/them prove they are stupid all by themselves.

[Justwantfair]

Well just when I thought there was a silver lining, my ex fired his attorney!

We are back to square one and I am just sick about the whole thing. Honestly, she is the only attorney I can see even taking his case, fresh out of law school, lacking ethics, concerned only for her income bracket. I mean he already has a GAL recommendation standing AGAINST him, I don't see any custody attorney taking it.

I am going to cry now. :(

[talaniman]

Don't cry, as his stalling tactics will not work. Stay patient, and diligent!

[Justwantfair]

This does take away the option he had for accepting the recommendation so that it didn't have to go to trial since we have already completed a trial for the GAL and he has talked to ALL collateral witnesses, many of whom, including my daughter's teacher, will have to be subpoena'd to testify. My mother and partner will have to miss work which was another reason for our desire to have this done by the GAL. ::sigh::

[Justwantfair]

The custody battle is still underway, but yesterday my ex informed me that he is planning a one week trip to Seattle in June. Since retaining a new attorney we have only been to status appearances in court.

Do I have to allow him to take her out of the state? I still question his ability to care for her and I am still in limbo under the other court order. Do I have any right to say 'no' I don't want her to go?

[Justwantfair]

UPDATE:

The written recommendation is in! The recommendation doesn't even elude to me with the exceptions of custody is recommended in my favor. It is just three summarizing pages of all of the reasons that my ex should not have custody. :D :D :D :D :D :D

Dancing a jig, dancing a jig

[talaniman]

Now that's good news, and expected.

[Justwantfair]

UPDATE:

We are in the negotiation stage, since he now has a clearer picture that he doesn't stand a chance to win custody. Their first offer to settle, gave me full custody - but the father wants her registered for school at his house, requested more time than he currently has and requested child support remained the same. It literally made me laugh out loud.

I am so sick of this court crude. This is so silly and ridiculous. I know that I am on top of my case, but I just want this done, it's all in my favor, yet he is the one pulling the strings and drawing this out. It just means more attorney fees, I swear.

He has most recently had his wife separate from him as well. I don't understand why he doesn't want this to be over.

[talaniman]

Now you know that would be to easy. Hang in there.

[cdad]

UPDATE:

We are in the negotiation stage, since he now has a clearer picture that he doesn't stand a chance to win custody. Their first offer to settle, gave me full custody - but the father wants her registered for school at his house, requested more time than he currently has and requested child support remained the same. It literally made me laugh out loud.

I am so sick of this court crude. This is so silly and ridiculous. I know that I am on top of my case, but I just want this done, it's all in my favor, yet he is the one pulling the strings and drawing this out. It just means more attorney fees, I swear.

He has most recently had his wife seperate from him as well. I don't understand why he doesn't want this to be over.

Hmmm.. the last line strikes me as important and worth a question. Was it a legal separation or is there some way you could contact her to find out why ? It might just seal the deal for you once and for all. If it were a legal separation then the court papers would be " public " meaning you could read them and also enter them into evidence.

Good luck.

[Justwantfair]

Hmmm .. the last line strikes me as important and worth a question. Was it a legal seperation or is there some way you could contact her to find out why ? It might just seal the deal for you once and for all. If it were a legal seperation then the court papers would be " public " meaning you could read them and also enter them into evidence.

good luck.

They have not legally separated yet. The case is extremely in my favor, but that isn't getting this to move along any faster. If it goes to trial, I have discussed with the GAL and my attorney that I may request he is evaluated for supervised visits as he went from 8 people in his house to 3 and there has to be a significant reason for that. The wife left with her son and their daughter, followed shortly by a roommate and her daughter. It worries me, but I do know that I will not get the information from his separated ex, as she has trying lying about me to help influence the case in the past year. He is already mentally impaired and now there isn't a single adult in the house (he is questionable to be considered an adult in my mind).

I don't think he has the funding to see this to trial, but he can't seem to rationalize how expensive and ridiculous this whole routine is. He is just paying attorneys, that doesn't benefit our daughter.

I have tried talking to him directly to speed things along for a settlement and when we agree then he goes back to his attorney and something else (typical for him). He doesn't have a leg to stand on. The GAL was not waiving between sides, he is very decided.

[Justwantfair]

UPDATE:

The separated ex wife emailed me to call her today. She filed for divorce from my ex-husband yesterday. Last night he would not return their infant daughter and spent the whole night in hiding. Today he went and filed a order of protection against her protecting himself and their minor child.

She told me that my ex-husband poured boiling water on his own arm in a panic attack within the last two weeks, that he broke into her apartment following the separation and beat her while she was sleeping. That he is suicidal and having a mental breakdown, claims that he has already lost our daughter, so he won't lose another.

I filed my own Order of Protection on behalf of our daughter after the phone call. When he found out he threatened me. I am emotionally exhausted and hope that this will be the final straw causing the courts to finally step in and protect my daughter.

I feel like I can only request supervised visits now. I am financially drained, emotionally exhausted and the stress level at our house is at an time high. We found out he has a .38 and a .22, I don't know what to do. Help.

[talaniman]

Don't panic, but let the right people know what's going on, and stay alert.

[Justwantfair]

I wrote a letter to my attorney and the guardian ad litem today.
I feel a bit less panicked today.
I am worried about the toddler in his care.
I am worried about his mental health and where his head is at.
As far as I now he hasn't been home in two days while he had the toddler.
What a mess.
::sigh::

[talaniman]

He is a mess, and unstable. Sad that it has come to this.

[Justwantfair]

JUST AN UPDATE:

For those following this thread, I now have sole custody of our daughter. He received an overly fair visitation schedule but thankfully it didn't include after school care or the inability for our daughter to be cared for by other parties that are not him. :)

He produced the offer following a negative drug test and a new current divorce/custody battle that has now begun with his separated wife.

[talaniman]

Looks like the light at the end of the tunnel is getting ever so bright. I am so glad for you, but I already knew you would win in the end, so not surprised, Lol! :D

[Justwantfair]

Thanks, Tal.