[wntfrieswitthat]

Me and my girlfriend were dating for 3 months. We took things slow (never did more then kiss or hold hands and she said she is fine with the pace that we are moving at) we never had any arguments, were really happy, hung out a lot and nothing seemed to go wrong.

Well before last year I had zero experience with girls, I pretty much never even talked to a girl. Then one day in orcestra class this girl who I didn't know thought I was staring at her but I was actually just tired. She thought I was good looking though and one day at her friends house her friend convinced her to friend request me on Facebook. So I decided that I'll eccept it because she was cute. Every once in awhile she would send me a rondom message asking me a random question to start up a conversation. Eventually after talking for awhile in orcestra and online she invited me to play laser tag with her and her friends and let me take one of my friends along with them. That day I actually said a total of two words to her and felt like and that I ruined all of my chances with her. But that night she called and said that she feels bad that we didn't get to talk and that we should hang out one day to get to know each other better just the two of us. We started hanging out a lot and we eventually started dating.

When we were dating I let her know that I'm new at this and might go a little slow and she said that she was perfectly fine with that. I ended up going slower then expected though like I didn't hold her had till almost a month into the relationship. I constantly reminded her it was me holding myself back and the fact that I don't know what I'm doing that is holding me back and not her, she allways said she was fine with this and understands and wants me to take as much time as possible and that whenever I want to do something that I should just try it and shell let me know if I'm taking things too fast. Well even with her saying that it took me a day before out three month anniversary to kiss her.

Then that night online I was talking to her and things were awkward so I asked her if what I did today made things like a little awkward and she said no it's not what I did it's just that she is unsure if she wants to think of me as a boyfriend or a best friend. I asked her if she needed time to think about it and she said that she thinks she might. I told her that I understand perfectly and that she can take as much time as she wants. She said that she just needs time to find herself and that she needs to find out where she wants to be in life and if at this young of an age wants to be in a relationship as strong as ours because she said that she is afraid she may love me and is unsure if that's what she wants at this age. She told me she may get back together with me once she is less confused about everything but she wants me to move on if I find anyone and I told her the same. I also told her I will never pressure her back into a relationship with me and that I'm leaving it up to her to ask me back out if she wants too because I don't want to ask her out because I want to be positive she feels she is ready to get back into a relationship. I also told her that I value our friendship greatly and would rather just be friends and be friends forever then to jump back into a relationship again and ruin something between us. I also told her that I still like her a lot and I will never deni that fact and if she ever asks me I will tell her the 100% truth. I also had her promise that if their ever is no hope of us being more then best friends that she should tell me and she agreed with that but also said that that probably won't be for a long time.

I truly meant every word of what I told her and we still continue to be friends and hang out and talk a lot. There are still things that are bothering me that I wounder. We never had any arguments or anything during our relationship and I couldn't have pictured our relationship lasting less then a year. Also after kissing her I realized that I make too big of a deal out of things so I was considering that day to be sort of like a new era in our relationship and I was going to start doing all of those things that I wanted to do that I've sat there and thought hmm maybe I should do this and just never was able to get myself to do it. So when she broke up with me I was in utter shock because it was actually a ending but before that I was looking at it as a new beginning. Also I'm unsure if it's just silly thoughts in my head but at times she truly does seem like my best friend but at other times I get a vibe that she hates me or just doesn't want to talk to me. I don't get that vibe often but when I get it it seems to stand out a lot and stick in my brain.

I am looking at other girls and talking to other girls because I can't depend on the possibility of us going back out and I need to be able to move on if that never becomes reality. A lot of people tell me that I should just try to go with a system of abstinence and try to avoid her and it will leave her with thoughts racing through her head about me, which I don't doubt the fact that that is a useful system because I sure know that that system works perfectly on me, but it's also kind of risky and I look at her as a best friend also so I don't really want to separate myself from her.

I have devised a system of talking to as many girls as possible too see what is out their. Also I have noticed that lately she seems to be somewhat talking to me like more then usual like it seems like she's talking to me as much as we did back when we were dating. But we also haven't hung out in person in about 2-3 weeks so this is only judging of online experiences. But also she has been trying really hard to find a time where we can both hang out, I do not think that this is because she is interested in dating again I just think it's that she just wants to hang out and talk to me moree (which I'm happy about because I was kind of dooing a half abstinince system). Well until we are both able to find a space in our schedules where we are able to hang out I have been talking about fun times we had when we were dating just to bring back happy memories and I still talk to her about normal things and joke around with her but I've been brining up a lot of old things lately. Once we do hang out I want to take her some place really fun and just have a great time. I also want to find a way to kind of hint at the fact that I still like her without just flat out telling her.

Now you may be confused about what exactly my questions are so I'll write them here:

1. Do you think that their could be a different reason for why she broke up with me? Because I want to believe in what she told me but my mind doesn't work like that and keeps giving me negative thoughts.

2. What are ways that I can hint to her that I like her and if I was to let her know that I like her and she just looks at me as a friend would that make things awkward between us? (I know that the second part to that question depends on the people but I'm woundering what is the higher chance)

3. Do you think the strategie I devised would help in any way?

4. Any other advise that you would like to give

{I know that I should just forget about dating her and move on but that's what I'm trying to do as I do this I figure that if I am talking to her and hanging out with her anyway I might as well try some things and see if they work out, I could do a lot of better plans but if they don't work out they could ruin our friendship so I'm careful in what I do because I truly do value our friendship also I'm unsure if this may help you in any way but we broke up like probably 2.5 months ago}

*any help would be greatly appreciated and also I'm not the best typer/ speller in the world so I appologize for any trouble you may have reading this and I also appologize for the lengthyness and possible too much detail I may have added to the story

[JBeaucaire]

There is nothing unusual going on here. Dating is a "experiment". Two people draw in close and see how it goes. If either one, EITHER ONE, doesn't get the "vibe", they can bail. No harm, no foul.

The thing is, most people SUCK at ending relationships calmly. Both the person ending it and the person getting dumped ALWAYS do the wrong things.

I guess it's just something you have to learn for yourself.

It's not a failure that the girl you hoped to build a long-term relationship decided against it. It's only a failure if you ignore the reality and simple truth that it's over and waste any more time seriously trying to rekindle this flame.

Let it go. It's going to hurt. Let it. Don't overthink it. You'll be into your next experiment when you're ready again.

[smitttyx2]

Well if you want to be friends that's fine but I'm telling complete truth if you want a girl to like you then separate yourself from her and talk to her friends more than her make yourself "tough to get" it may be difficult for you but it does give results

[Kati-Katt]

Talk to her.

[progunr]

Please, just take things slow.

And work on separating your thoughts into paragraphs, your post was so difficult to read, but only because it was just one long paragraph.

And yes, the more you talk about how you feel, the closer you will get to the true definition of this relationship.

[sweettiger]

I'm also confused why she broke up with you..

She's still not ready to go for a serious relationship as what you want.. or maybe she wants to enjoy her life as being young..

[Homegirl 50]

I think she realised that she does not like you as a boy friend, but as a friend and didn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings.
I think you need to forget about dating her again and just enjoy the friendship.
When it is time for you to date again, the right girl will come along and this young lady will be a pleasant memory

[wntfrieswitthat]

Yeah homegirl 50 that is one of the many conculusions that I have came too and it is also the one that I think of the most but there have also been a few things to convince me otherwise that I have not included in the story but the way I look at it that is the most probable cause but other things have lead me to confusion. I am trying to move on and enjoy the friendship but at the same time I'm just try to see what could be going on between us, I think that getting over it would be much simpler if I did understand what is going on.

[Homegirl 50]

Then why don't you just aks her?
Talk to her like the friend she is. Voice your concerns and let the chips fall where they may.
How old are the two of.

[wntfrieswitthat]

Well Im 15 and she is 16. I would talk to her about it but I don't want to make our friendship awkward I have a feeling that if she views me as just a friend and I remind her that I really like her too much it could make things awkward in our friendship. If she was to ask me if I still like her I definitely would tell her but I wouldn't just flat out tell her out of nowhere because I don't want to make things awkward. I want to move on and just continue our friendship like I'm out talking to other girls and stuff and seeing what's their but at the same time I still really like her and I think it would be easier on me if I did understand.

[Homegirl 50]

You can have it both ways. Your friendship is awkward anyway because you have feelings you don't know what to do with.
You two are really young. If you don't want to talk to her about it, I would suggest you just go on as if you two will not be dating again, which IMO is more than likely the case.
Look out for yourself, put yourself first, do what is more comfortable for you.
Go on with your social life.

[wntfrieswitthat]

Yea, I understand that the chances of us getting back together again are slim. I think what I want now is to just kind of understand what is going on, I don't think I need to date her again although that would be nice but I'm not sure if that would be the best thing for the both of us. I think that things would be simpler if I understood what was going on which I know can be solved by simiply asking her and she is the type of person who I can go to for pretty much everything but I think that talking about this would make things more awkward for her in the friendship like I already am somewhat awkward in it like you said but at this moment I don't think that she finds things awkward. We still talk to each other about our problems and the topic of when she broke up with me isn't something we avoid talking about because we've talked about it many times but I think that if I was to try and talk about what was like the reason and stuff it could get awkward. She is a trustworthy person and normally she would do everything she tells me she would do but the thing about her telling me when there is no chance left I'm not sure if she would because she is a really nice person and hates to upset people so I don't think that she will tell me when that day comes.

[Homegirl 50]

Then you will never know except you're not together. I still think you should just ask her and then leave it alone

[High Max]

I didn't read everything, but I think that you moved too slow and weren't experienced enough for this. I think you may not have been intimate enough, and its possible that your inexperience and personal doubt turned her off.

For the future, don't constantly say "I am new at this" or, "I dont know what im doing" or wait three months to kiss her. Doing these things in general, and being really shy turns off most women.

[Homegirl 50]

He is 15, he was inexperienced, thank goodness! Too many kids that age have too much.

I think she just realized she likes you better as a friend than a boy friend, and there is nothing wrong with that. You don't have to want to date everyone you know.
Maybe this young lady wanted a relationship that goes beyond what you were ready for and she moved on, which is good. You should not be engaging in any activity you are not able to face the consequences for.
Take you time, you don't need to go so fast. This young lady just may not be the right one for you. You have plenty of time.
You don't have to pretend you are anything other than who you are. "To thine own self be true"

[fsvfcvsfdgsrgv]

Well I think your strategy is great, that's basically what I did and I got a sort-of girlfriend, but now we're having some problems... but yeah, if you really like her you should be confident and try to tell her how you feel about her breaking up with you instead of just going along with whatever she says and like high max said don't be all shy and stuff.

[lkjfdsa18]

I know how u feel my girlfriend did the same thing to me this past weekend. Basically same conversations and everything.