[Rollingalong]

I need to find a free confidential psychiatrist. A: I don't have any money, B: I do not want the army to find out and financial transactions are one of those ways. Above all I need no medical history, records, Etc. on me I cannot have my life scared for see a psychiatrist. If you think I'm going overboard I'm not. I will not be able to get a job in my field of study if I even hint that I have some sort of mental disorder i.e. depression.

Any type of advice will help, talking on forums or phone or email will not do it for me. If I can't get help with that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

[KBC]

Well, A decision has to be made.

Do you want help?

Are you in enough discomfort to do what needs done?

Since you didn't describe the field you are going into,I can only guess that you are correct in the idea that you "will not be able to get a job in my field of study if I even have a hint of mental disorder"

I would like to know this field,where its necessary to be a god with all the trimmings of clarity in my head.

OK, if you are correct in your thoughts about that,you might have to change something,either work through the problems you have(seems unlikely,since you think you need to see a psychiatrist in the first place)Or change your field of study to another one that doesn't require such "clarity of thought" without a tenuous past.

With more posts about this, myself and others can assist you further.

KBC

[seenbutnotheard]

I'm talking about the CIA, NSA, and FBI. I currently attend college and I'm living off $300 a month (food, clothes, gas). I think I have severe depression and that is grounds for dismissal and rejection by any of those organizations. It could also affect my officership in the army such as a transfers to low risk jobs... it would definitely mean I couldn't be an Apache pilot. There is no way to change my field of study, I have spent too much time and money. If I loose any of these job options or my service branch I don't know if I could handle the stress.

I have great grades and everything so just as long as I take care of my mental problems in a confidential manner without breaking my wallet then everything will be all right.

[Choux]

You are right to be very concerned. I was in a management meeting in the 1990's, and the boss said that companies would be checking a person's past in depth before hiring them or advancing them.

IF I were you, I would make an appointment with a psychiatrist and explain your situation ASAP. YOu have to start somewhere and soon. You may be surprised that the psychiatrist can offer you alternatives ideas and a solution to your quandry. :)

[Rollingalong]

Getting diagnosed with severe depression will prevent me from attaining top secret security clearance as well.

[Fr_Chuck]

But then if you have it, you don't need to be in many of those jobs.
There is always records and always reports, esp if you are using those that depend on your income. You will have to provide them proof of income to qualify. Next if you are given any prescription here is always a record of that.

But if you need the help you wlll most likely never pass the other personality testing needed

[Rollingalong]

Deception is something I'm good at so it's not a problem passing any tests that come my way. I think I will be the judge of if I need to be in any of the jobs or not.

If I don't get help life is just going to be unfulfillng, stressful, and harder; but that's not going to change the fact that I'm going to go for the job I want.

[KBC]

Deception is something I'm good at so it's not a problem passing any tests that come my way. I think I will be the judge of if I need to be in any of the jobs or not.

If I don't get help life is just going to be unfulfillng, stressful, and harder; but that's not going to change the fact that I'm going to go for the job I want.

Who will you be deceiving,yourself,I think.

If you lie on a test, I for one, wouldn't really want you to protect my country,president,or boarders.

This is why the tests are hard to beat,they will find something which stops you from serving the nation.

If you really want to be diagnosed,treated, and helped to be a healthy productive member of society,stop the lies!

If you really want to serve the country,take up a different perspective,a different career,this work isn't in your future with a handicap like depression.

Stubbornness and deception will not make a happy future for you,can't you see this?

I would ask someone in the field you are looking at what they would do in your situation.How to be involved in high security with the overhanging diagnosis and still get the fulfillment you are looking for.

Sorry so aggressive a response, but think about the people you are going to serve,are they getting a quality stable representative,or another deceptive public defender?

Would you train a person,knowing they might not be stable,and then still feel respectable for letting them loose on society?I know I wouldn't.

We trained Osama Bin Laden with CIA gorilla training,look where that led us.

Unfair comparison? I think not.

The former governor of Ohio was color blind,he passed flight tests for fighter plains in the Vietnam era,he memorized the lighting in the cockpit controls and flew sorties,so yes, it can be done,luckily he didn't have any mishaps.

I guess I am saying that you might be let down if it's a failed test,or some other personality shortfall the services would find in the long run.

Still not convinced?Go for broke,what do you have to loose?You seem to want this future,but rational thinking states that you won't be happy with pursuing this career path.

Just my opinion.

Best regards,

KBC

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, while I do worry about some of the tests, what sort of personality does it take to be able to push the buttom to blow up 1/2 of aother country.

But the testing is very complete, and hard to fake
*** been there done that, Justice Dept, and State agency with one of the highest security clearance, plus I was part of the hiring procedure at one point.

[Rollingalong]

Well your missing the point at this part. Nothing will ever change my mind and nothing will ever stop me from getting the job I want depression or not.

Don't worry about the tests and stuff, I know first hand I can pass anything they throw at me and I know I can make myself appear as normal as I want.

My depression doesn't affect me in the way you think, I don't have suicidal thoughts and I have never wanted to harm anyone in my life. I just feel worthless, unaccomplished, and I just have a general dislike for everything I do no matter what it is ( I know, this is the 4th major I have switched to in the past 2 years). It has to stop and this is what I'm going to do. I'm well on my way to becoming an officer Apache Pilot, and I am well on my way to having the credentials to join a national security organization when I get out.

All I want to do is to get the full experience of my life instead of feeling like all the time and thinking I have to depend on other people to feel happy. I've tried doing it myself now it's time for some genuine external help, that's what I want, that's what I need but if it is going to adversely affect my career choice than screw it.

I would rather live my life being unhappy all the time than to not live it at all, after all this is the only life we have might as well make the best of it.