[blueiman]

I'm puzzled on this one. I was suppose to go home after work. My girlfriend asked me do I have plans later. I said no just going home after work. Not sure what that mean when she says do you have plans but does not follow up with, I got an idea. So I called her back and asked if she would like to come over after work. She said no how about you come over here I'm closer. That's the plan. So, after I get there she has dinner we eat. Later she says boy my garbage is pilled up. I forgot to take it out the other day. Could you take my garbage to your house so the garbage will pu tomorrow. I nodded sure. Well I guess I did not reply correctly she got angry and said, I can tell you have a problem with taking my garbage to your house. I said, no I did not say that. So she is like I will never ask you for help again...
Why is she like this and am I doing wrong?

[Wildcat21]

Dude - your gal has issues. I THINK she is also seeing gif you have a spine.

[educatedhorse_2005]

Move on
Drop her like a bad habit. You can't be happy can you.
Or are you that lonely.
Just become friends with benefits

[magprob]

Don't despair, your just on the Estrogen Rollercoaster Ride From Hell! At 50 years old, I've been riding for quite some time now. I have fallen a few times and bumped my head but I always get up, brush myself off and jump back on. If you want to ride another roller coaster go ahead. It may be more fun or not. Otherwise, just stay on the one your on until it jumps the tracks. The thing is, when you think it is about to jump the tracks, unsnap your seat belt and hop out. Do not fly off the tracks with it.;)

[valinors_sorrow]

She is having trouble trusting you, and it very likely has to do with HER past, and not a dang thing to do with you. She is reading into your actions things that aren't there.

If you want a really effective way to confront this, tell her in a very non-negotiable way that you feel insulted and that she needs to ASK you about these things before deciding them herself. If and when she asks and you tell her the truth, if she doesn't believe you then, be more insulted and ask her if she is calling you a liar. Because in essence that IS what she is doing.

The thing is you know YOU best and she knows HERSELF best, and so this "I know what you're thinking" crapola is just that! When people pull this stunt on me, I like to challenge it with humor. At the first sign of them telling me who I am, I say: "And what are you, a mindreader now???" in a comically exaggerated tone of voice. This may ground her into reality, if you can pull it off. Thanks for posting and good luck!

[Wildcat21]

Man - we've had to posts in a row with some wacked out women. WHY do women think we can read their minds?? WHY do they think THEY KNOW WHAT WE ARE THINKING??

[Krs]

Hey Blueiman,
How long have you 2 been together?
Has she always been so immature and had bad issues?
Has she had some sort of bad past?
Something is seriously not right here!

[Myth]

Old habits die hard... ditch this one before it lands you in the grave... the chic has control issues and wants to keep you under her thumb... be single and love it for a few...

[talaniman]

1-Is this the same g/f you've been posting about previously?
2-If it is ,what are you still doing with this nut.
3-If it isn't tell her to take her own garbage out, and pass the hot sauce
4-Find a girlfriend who can remember when to take her own garbage out
5-Find a g/f that has a better disposition
6-Dust yourself off and get back on the rollercoater
7-Dust yourself off get back on the horse pull back the reins and say WHOA Nellie
8-Tell her where she can stick the garbage as you walk out the door and don't look back!

[Chery]

Seriously, Blue... what is it that you're looking for?

Come on, you are not really that desperate that you take any and all kinds of crap from a woman just so that you're not alone...

Being alone with yourself, and enjoying music, recreation, and getting to know other people with interests should be on the top of your list of things to do.. NOT staying with someone that just totally blows your mind. No matter what you say or do, it's not right with her. Wow, did your mother do that to you too? - Is that why you miss this abuse?
How about your prime time always being interrupted with someone else's needs? Have you always been put on the 'back burner' and are just so used to it that you let her keep on doing it?

Honey, you could write a book for other guys to read to learn "What To Avoid In a Relationship", and make a lot of money. If you do plan on the book can I have a percentage? I'll help you with the editing.

Write this history of current events down, read it over and over, and then check your emotional meter out. If this meter goes 'rock-bottom' and you are saddened by what you let happen to you - GET UP, GET OUT, and leave people like her far behind!

Once you get out of this in one piece, please take a breather and don't jump into another one so soon. You really need time to collect yourself and heal a bit.

Good luck, dear



Stop letting this crap happen to you!

[Wildcat21]

Dude - IF I were I'd get a chip on my shoulder and not take so much crap from her. She'll stop doing all this mind games with you then.

[DJ 'H']

I'm puzzled on this one. i was suppose to go home after work. my gf asked me do i have plans later. i said no just going home after work. not sure what that mean when she says do you have plans but does not follow up with, i got an idea. so i called her back and asked if she would like to come over after work. she said no how about you come over here i'm closer. that's the plan. so, after i get there she has dinner we eat. later she says boy my garbage is pilled up. i forgot to take it out the other day. could you take my garbage to your house so the garbage will pu tomorrow. i nodded sure. well i guess i did not reply correctly she got angry and said, i can tell you have a problem with taking my garbage to your house. i said, no i did not say that. so she is like i will never ask you for help again...
why is she like this and am i doing wrong?

She really needs help. What on earth is her problem?

[s_cianci]

Dude - your gal has issues. I THINK she is also seein gif you have a spine.

Good point about seeing if you have a spine. And yes, she definitely has issues. [Tried to rate you WIldcat but got the usual "spread it around" jazz.]

Move on
Drop her like a bad habit. You can't be happy can you.
Or are you that lonely.
Just become friends with benefits

Very good advice here. Didn't attempt to rate you because I knew I'd get the "spread it around" story.

[blueiman]

Hey Blueiman,
how long have you 2 been together?
Has she always been so immature and had bad issues?
Has she had some sort of bad past?
Something is seriously not right here!

About a year. She is sometimes, mostly fine, but every once in a while she says something that just makes me look at her and think why did she say that. I will always tell her hey wait a minute. But, that always starts a fight. I can't seem to finish because as soon as I start to talk about it. She says, I'm done talking because we are fighting. And really we are not fighting but I guess its her way of not addressing the issues...

Dude - your gal has issues. I THINK she is also seein gif you have a spine.

Yes, I'm sure you're correct. Maybe I don't have a spine. I thought I did. I will always tell my girlfriend hey that's not right... then she gets upset with the "are you saying its my fault. Then she stops talking gets agree and walk away. Me I'm like what the is going on here.

Dude - IF I were I'd get a chip on my shoulder and not take so much crap from her. She'll stop doing all this mind games with you then.

OK, no more crap. So, give me an example on how you would really handle it...

[Krs]

You must love her, I personally wouldn't put up with it if this happens rather often.
Is she with attitude problems maybe because of past bf's or family? Or is she an only child? Spoilt from her parents?

I don't know but you sound very patient. While I'm not so much, I'm a hot blooded european ;)

[Wildcat21]

I'd spread the love above but I cant. I agree though. She seems to ALWAYS be testing you.

[Krs]

Time to test her back I think.
Play tit for tat.
I don't believe playing tit for tat is sound to do but sometimes its good that someone like your girlfriend gets back what she plays.
Its time for her to have a taste of her own medicine.

[Wildcat21]

There is a WAY to disfuse testing.

1. You ASK her questions BACK!! Ask her question with a question.

2. Make fun of things. Seriously. Give her cocky- funny answer back. Keep it light. She'll actual love you for it.

See - guys lose when they get all uptight about those 'test' questions. And you TRY to come up with an answer that YOU think she would want AND NOT how YOU actually feel.

If anything - you answer how you FEEL - not what you think she wants to hear - ever.

If she breaks from you - so what - you had a spine and stood your ground. No real woman wants a spineless guy.

[Krs]

There is a WAY to disfuse testing.

1. You ASK her questions BACK!!! Ask her question with a question.

2. Make fun of things. Seriously. Give her cocky- funny answer back. Keep it light. She'll actual love you for it.

See - guys lose when they get all uptight about those 'test' questions. And you TRY to come up with an answer that YOU think she would want AND NOT how YOU actually feel.

If anything - you how you FEEL - not what you think she wants to hear - ever.

If she breaks from you - so what - you had a spine and stood your ground. No real woman wants a spineless guy.

YES no. 1 is actually a very good way to phsycologically test someone..
Good plan wildcat ;)

[blueiman]

1-Is this the same g/f you've been posting about previously?
2-If it is ,what are you still doing with this nut.
3-If it isn't tell her to take her own garbage out, and pass the hot sauce
4-Find a girlfriend who can remember when to take her own garbage out
5-Find a g/f that has a better disposition
6-Dust yourself off and get back on the rollercoater
7-Dust yourself off get back on the horse pull back the reins and say WHOA Nellie
8-Tell her where she can stick the garbage as you walk out the door and don't look back!

1, no not the same girl when I started posting. But, later I started posting in regards to my girlfriend.