[sarahshorty]

One year ago I was a healthy 30 year old married mother of 2. I worked full time & made OK money. Then I got sick I have the most sever form of kidney stone disease there is I the last year I have passed around 130 stones. I’m now on medication ( the highest dose & the strongest 1) but I still pass about 2-6 stones per month. This makes it imposable for me to work. My husband works but doesn't make a lot of money it was plenty with us both working but we out of savings we had my car repossessed and we r just barely able to keep the cable & internet on. Since we haven’t paid in 5 months I don’t think it will be on much longer. So 3 months ago I found out my youngest is also sick he ate a penny when he had it removed they found ulcers in his tummy throat & mouth. Last week we were told it is that he has a rare genetic allergy to fructose that will lead to liver failure. Do you know everything has fructose. We can't afford to feed him let allow feed him fructose free food.
My husband makes $100 too much per month two get food stamps. I'm getting medical for 1 more week then I'm going to lose it because my huby worked overtime so we could try to catch up he only made $75 extra. What am I going to do without medical. My kidneys r not fully functioning one is down to 75%the other is still at 90% I just don't know what else to do.

What I need to know r there any web sites that I can go on to receive cash donations? What r they?

[Wondergirl]

I'm so sorry to hear of your misfortunes. Call Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services and ask to talk with one of their counselors or a social worker. Also call the human services dept. of the county you live in. They will help you and will also connect you with resources in your community, your township, plus in the county and state. In my community, churches adopt families who are having financial or other problems, so that's another possibility.

[sarahshorty]

Good news my health insurance is not being stopped or my sons. That is a big relief. Still looking for online cash charities.

[Alty]

I'm going to be a bit tough here.

We can't afford to feed him let allow feed him fructose free food.

we r just barely able to keep the cable & internet on.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Which is more important? Cable and internet, or food for your son?

It's time to re-budget, go to your church and ask for help, go to your local food bank and get food, lower your expenses and live within your means.

It's time to change your lifestyle, and looking for charity is fine, but be prepared that you may not get it and it will be up to you and your husband to support you and the kids.

Good luck.

[sarahshorty]

Got to tell you Thank You for commenting back guys but I think what I really need was some emotional support. Not being made to feel worse. Before I got sick we were an average middle class family nice home 2 cars. I worked very hard to go from being a dropout to being a respected member of my community. So just for a moment image finally having the life u dreamed of. The life u worked your butt off getting to and had just gotten. Ripped away from u. Image knowing that u aren't going to see your kids graduate or get married because your kidneys r going to fail. So finally u come to terms with that Than it is found out that your 4 year old is sick with something that will lead him to liver & kidney failure. Then your car gets repoed not because you didn't want to pay it but because when you went to trade it in 4 something you could afford you were told that it was in an accident before u bought it & it isn't worth anything . So now while your husband is at work trying to make money you can't get to the Dr. app for u or you son by the way did I mention the same week The 4 year old goes into surgery to get biopsies again! O you I forgot to mention The catholic charities have helped a lot & Am very thankful they r there but they have canned food & boxed food most of which my son can't eat. If I didn't have the internet of which I haven't paid in 5 months. I wouldn't know that not only can't he have fruit but most veggies r out as well or that he can't have canned food at all it must be frozen or any processed meat or sugars of any kind & of course there is the milk allergy. So after all that happed last week I got this letter saying that we weren't going to be insured starting the day before my sons surgery so I kind of lost it. I'm a very strong woman but at some point you just want to scream and that is what I was doing. I was mostly just looking for a pat on the back a it will be OK u know someone to say don't give up, it is always darkest before the dawn. Not a scolding. I have always taken care of me & my own I was the one supporting my family since I was 15 so if u knew what it feels like for me to need to ask for help and be scolded for having unpaid cable... Just forget it!

[J_9]

Look, I've been where you are. I had breast cancer and a 4 year old daughter. It was my husband who suffered the depression and did not work for 2 years. I worked through my chemo (went to work, took my lunch hour for my chemo treatment and right back to work for the rest of the day) and right after all of my surgeries, the last of which was on my 40th birthday and I was back to work the next day. The heat got cut off in the dead of winter (Michigan), the phone was cut off, and I had to return bottles (michigan gives a 10 cent refund for coke cans and bottles) just so I could feed my 4 year old some days. So, you are not going to get any pity from me.

I did not have cable or the internet, I couldn't afford it. I had to work a second job, has your husband considered this?

Does your son have Hereditary Fructose Intolerance? A very rare genetic disease? Here is a page that you need to look at for fructose free diets for your son. HFI Treatment

Again, I've been where you are, and possibly worse. Did I ask for handouts? No, I got off my arse and did what I had to do to keep my family together. If your husband won't get a second job, you won't get pity from me.

[sarahshorty]

My husband may not have 2 jobs but he does work a lot of overtime & he does travel 1 1/2 hours 2 get to work everyday & I may not work bet I do every odd side job I can I baby-sit every child on our block & clean a few house of which I walk to when I can move. Not to mention when I was well I volunteered at a lot of these charities & gave to more $1000's over the years. U would think though J_9 after all u have been through u would say don't stress so much life gets better it will b OK I have been there and although it is hard u will make it. Like I said I was just a hard week & what I really needed more then anything was so emotional support. Wow for having a husband with depression u know how to make someone feel like they can make it!

I do sincerely thank you though for the link to the HFI web sit. It is Hereditary Fructose Intolerance.

[J_9]

Yes, Sarah, life does get better, there is always a rainbow behind the storm, but you can't whine and complain, you must DO. NO matter how hard it gets, you must keep your chin up. God gives us nothing that we can't handle. We may have to get creative in our ways, this is why the cable and the internet was mentioned. Coupon clipping, weatherize your home, electricity on an as needed basis, etc.

Believe me dear, I know what a hard week is like... sick from the chemo, losing my hair, explaining to my 4 year old, watching my husband sink deeper in despair afraid of losing me. But you are taking everyone's advice the wrong way. Cut costs, get rid of the cable and the internet, get rid of the cell phones if you have them. Find a local church who is offering the classes that Dave Ramsey has started... Financial Peace University. Contact your local Salvation Army (they can usually only help for one month of utilities).

Doctors cannot, by law in the US, refuse to treat you or your son based on ability to pay.

[southerngalps]

My husband works but doesn't make a lot of money it was plenty with us both working but we out of savings we had my car repossessed and we r just barely able to keep the cable & internet on. Since we haven’t paid in 5 months I don’t think it will be on much longer. So 3 months ago I found out my youngest is also sick he ate a penny when he had it removed they found ulcers in his tummy throat & mouth.

She said she hasn't paid the cable in 5 months... found out her son was sick 3 months ago... I don't think she had her priorities messed up. I am so sorry to hear for your troubles. There are good people out there to help you. You are in my prayers.

[sarahshorty]

Thank -You southerngalps for being I think the only person to read the post before just reacting I actually did call to have the cable & internet turned off but was told I didn't have an account even though I get a bill each month. So I made the woman on the phone with me e-mail me saying that I made the atempt to close the account and she was unable to find a record of it. I guess I should thank God for small favers. I don't have cell phones never have. I don't like them Y would I want people calling me when Im out?
Dr's don't have to treat pts except to stablize them. But know worries anyway. The big thing I was freakin about has been handled the boys & I r insured still & the letter that had me freaking was a mistake. The little one can still get the biopsie and it won't put me $40,000 in debt.

[Alty]

Sarahshorty. I reacted the way I did because of your post. The title is "Sick mother of 2 looking for charities", not "Sick mother of 2 looking for emotional support".

I simply pointed out that having internet and cable shouldn't be a priority right now, that you will have to change your lifestyle in order to survive.

I do feel bad that you're going through a difficult time, but, like J9 said, you can't sit on your butt hoping that things get better, you have to get up and make things better.

It will be hard, it will take time, but I know that you can do it. Find that inner strength, obviously you have it, so find it and use it.

I've been in tough places as well, I won't tell you my story, because everyone has a story to tell where they where down in the dumps. Some people lay down and give up, others rise and fight. You have to chose which one you're going to be. No one can give you the strength to fight, that's all up to you.

Take care, and Good luck.

[jjwoodhull]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles. I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you right now emotionally and physically.

I do not know of any ways to get money through online charities. However, I do have a few suggestions...

Contact local clergy. There is lots they could do for you on a smaller level, like small fund raisers and donations, parishoners to help with healthy meals, and every day chores. This might not sound like a lot, but it is a start. It also offers emotional support and opens you to meeting new peope - and you never know where that will lead.

Contact Make A Wish Foundation regarding your son. They are known as a charity that grants wishes for terminal kids, but they actually do much, much more than that for children.

I am an event planner by trade and have volunteered several times to put together fund raisers in my community. Do you know anyone who could do something like this for you? Perhaps I have a connection in your area of the country. Where do you live?

[jjwoodhull]

Another charity to look into is The Starlight Foundation, Home - Starlight

[sarahshorty]

Thank-You very much jjwoodhall 4 all the info! I just contacted the Starlight Foundation and they have an event coming up in a few weeks we'll be able to meet other families with the same hardships and difficuties. Vincent will be able to meet other children like him because right now he is very angry he can't have the food all the other kids have. Some times we ask for money & find all we really need is a little hope.

[jjwoodhull]

Great news! Please keep us updated on how you're doing. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. :)

[jjwoodhull]

Hey Sarah... just wondering how you are doing?