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dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 11:42 AM

I have this one big problem. I´m kind of nerdy, and I cannot get a decent girl... It´s really hard, they always send me to hell saying that I´m not cool enough. It might be about how I look. I don´t wear glasses, but I am embarrassed to wear hiphop stuff. So I wear shirts with ties, occasionaly POLO shirts...

Will someone help me? I´m getting kind of desprate and depressed. :(

TexasParent · Nov 1, 2008, 11:55 AM

Well the first thing I would ask is, how old are you? My answer would be in part dependent on your answer.

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 12:12 PM

Well, Im almost seventeen...

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 12:15 PM

Seventeen in two months.

irene94 · Nov 1, 2008, 12:24 PM

Well it depends your age and your race if your white and wearing hip hop stuff then it will seem like if you're a poser and you have too know how to dress the frist thing a girl looks at is how you look and your personality make her laugh be nice don't try to be who your not be confident in yourself get to know the girl before you ask her out you have to make her intrested in you don't seem desperete :cool:

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 12:35 PM

Well, over the years I learned how to hide my feelings. I am the type of person who gets bullied, so showing feelings is bad in my case.

When I try to approach someone, I get a black eye - bullies are protective of girls.

I am the nerdy-freaky-cold type and it is extremely hard for me to say something funny.

HELP, please somebody HELP

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 12:42 PM

Are you a good listener? Girls love to talk and love to have a boyfriend who is a good listener.

Do you ever see a shy, sad-looking girl hanging about? If so, did you ever say hi to her and ask her a question to get her talking?

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 12:49 PM

OK...

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 12:58 PM

And that means...

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 01:03 PM

There is this girl I like and I do communicate with her. I am afraid she will "screw me to hell" if I dare to express my feelings. I do not know how to approach a person: my family life is screwed, mother left my dad "because of me"... It is hard to do anything without thinking of the her. She just tried to "screw me". She hated me. Now I simply loathe her, haven´t seen her in two years. Golf cures me but still it is hard... You think this might cause my problems with communication? Should I stop being me and try to forget my past and stop overdressing and be someone else? If I do so, will school still be manageble? Jeez. Sorry for blasphemy... What the HECK should I do?

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 01:10 PM

I think you should relax.

Stop making this all about you and your personal history, and start looking at the other person as someone who will enrich your life. You don't have to express your feelings right off the bat. All you have to do is be pleasant and nice and a good listener and ask open-ended questions, like, "What did you think about that Chem test?" or "What kind of foods do you know how to cook?"

You're not looking to get married by Christmas, nor are you turning a friendship into a love affair. You are making friends. That's all.

So, waddya think?

450donn · Nov 1, 2008, 01:10 PM

Think of one of the most famous nerds, Bill Gates. He is not particurally handsome in anybodies book, and then look at his wife. People gravitate to a personality not just what they see on the surface. You are still young, don't let it worry you too much. When you look back in ten years at the "popular" ones and see how their lives have turned out compared to what you are capable of making for yourself you will laugh. Be happy that you are smart enough to get a top notch education. The rest will come.

BMI · Nov 1, 2008, 01:11 PM

Slow down dude!

First off, don't be wearing hip-hop stuff cause you think that's cool. Not all girls like that look. The shirt and tie thing is fine depending on how your wearing it, although at 17 I'd lose the tie.

Your dress is secondary to your confidence and socializing skills. If a girl likes you your clothes will probably not send her running (probably). Get away from thinking abouthow bad your past is and how allthe girls don't like you and focus on your good points, strong points.

There is someone for everyone, believe that. You'll do fine.

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 01:17 PM

Well, I gues that could work... Why should the tie go? I like my neckties... And is being nerdy a bad thing??

BMI · Nov 1, 2008, 01:21 PM

Whoa, didn't know it was a neck tieboss. Ditch it!

Being nerdy is not a bad thing at all, it's a fashion just like any other. However, if your purposly dressingthis way than you have to be prepared for the stereotypes associated with it. Girls mixed with nerds in high school has kind of been likened to oil and water.

Seriously, if youlike your ties andlike the look of nerdiness than I say stick with it man. Do, dress, act the way you like, let the pieces fall where they may.

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 01:22 PM

Keep the tie. Make sure the tie goes with the rest of the clothes and is clean and neat. Make sure the shirt is clean and ironed. You sound like a prize.

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 01:26 PM

And it is hard getting past the bullies... Right now, both of my eyes are black, my thumb is broken and my eyebrows are shaved off.

dave146 · Nov 1, 2008, 01:29 PM

But I always keep neat and tidy...

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 01:30 PM

Why are you bullied?

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2008, 01:34 PM

This is on this board too... hmmmmmmmm --

"He is philosophical, godly, and what have you... how embarrassing, lol. Welp, he's got the most amazing mind, he's not self-conscious, he's intellectually nerdy, yet social, he's not cute... he doesn't even notice me!! He's the first guy I've really ever liked. I'm not necessarily dumb, but compared to him I am. he probably has a 4.9 (not even kidding), and I a measly 3.1. Do you think he'd ever like/notice me? how do i get him to do that w/out looking desperate?? (& i get really shy around him)"