[larissah]

My husband and I have been separated for almost a year. He has not made any attempt to provide any kind of child support or request for visitation. As I do not want to have anything to do with him, this is fine with me. I have not attempted to obtain a divorce, because I do not want him to get awarded any visitation. He only works sporadically, but never in jobs that deduct any taxes. So if I do try to obtain a divorce, I am afraid he will be awarded regular visitation and will have to pay child support payments based on the minimum wage. We live in GA so we would have to attend parenting classes, which is obviously a joke on his part. I support myself and my daughter without his help and do not wish for him to be awarded any visitation, while only having to pay a minimum amount for the privilege. She is only 3 so she barely remembers him. If I try to obtain a divorce after a year of non visitation and support, will the court actually give him visitation privileges or consider him a dead beat dad that has abandoned his family?

[450donn]

I'll bet that if you filed for divorce and your lawyer was any good and asked for support if you offered divorce, no support and his relinquishing his parental rights you would win easily.

[Fr_Chuck]

He does not have to pay support now basically because there is no support order in place, he is still married to you.

And at this point he could really just walk in take the kids and you can't stop him.

Next sorry no court is going to allow him just to sign his rights over to get out of child support.

And of course he will come back and say you did not want him to visit or was trying to stop him from seeing his kids.

But you need to make it official if you want any support, get a divorce, get a court order and to be honest be ashamed that you would dare want to stop a father from seeing their children if they want to.

IN GA not visiting or even not paying support is not enough to take away a fathers right

[larissah]

He does not have to pay support now basicly because there is no support order in place, he is still married to you.

And at this point he could really just walk in take the kids and you can't stop him.

Next sorry no court is going to allow him just to sign his rights over to get out of child support.

And of course he will come back and say you did not want him to visit or was trying to stop him from seeing his kids.

But you need to make it official if you want any support, get a divorce, get a court order and to be honest be ashamed that you would dare want to stop a father from seeing thier children if they want to.

IN GA not visiting or even not paying support is not enough to take away a fathers right

To FR-Chuck:

Obviously you are incapable of understanding the question and didn't realize that the father doesn't want visitation, as I said he has made no attempt to get in touch with me.
He is physically abusive, does drugs, was hospitalized for od twice. Needless to say, your advice was not helpful in the least, and leads me to believe you are or were a deadbeat too.

[08_777444]

This is the definition of confusion:

you call him a deadbeat dad yet you are still married to him

If you file for divorce, and he poses no real danger or threat to the child, the court is going to award him visitation. If you subsequently try to stop or deny that visitation, just remember there is a higher law than that of man whose access to where the truth lies is guarded by the superpower of your karmic credit/debit card. You will get the payback you deserve, through the natural laws and cycles of accountability, truth and consequences.

It leaves one to wonder why you are so scorned that you are willing to get back at him in any way, even if that means destroying your own child. Apathy kills. Had you filed the proper paperwork, a support order would have been put into effect - as meager as it may be. It's the child's money, not yours hence the term “child support.” You could put that money in an account for her future. But instead you would rather sit there and talk about how you don't need his money, and how you have taken care of your daughter by yourself. Well, congratulations on your righteous financial sacrifice.

You are trying to garner sympathy for your bad choices in life. Remember, self-pity is an excuse to do nothing. To appeal to sympathy for pity's sake is to seek affirmation of the choice to do nothing… which is exactly what you have done. Until you file the proper paperwork, he is still your HUSBAND and her FATHER and he does not need court ordered visitation. Fr Chuck is right, he can take his child anytime he wants - LEGALLY. It is disturbing that you would actually delay in filing for divorce because you are afraid the court is going to award him visitation. It's easier for you not to file the paperwork so you can call him a deadbeat husband instead? What is the definition of confusion again?

When you trash talk him, you trash talk yourself. Our mate is a true extension of who we are, with that said I am going to assume for every ten bad things you said about him, there are probably ten similar bad things he would say about you, a few of which we have already seen. There are two sides to every story and we are only getting yours.

If you are seriously still that bitter toward him, you might need some counseling or some change brought on with the aid of a serious reality check. You have to be the adult. Love your child more than you hate your ex... or your soon to be ex only if you're sure he won't get visitation... whatever evil you can conjure up.

Poor kid.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry no, you did not care about what he wanted now, you asked if the court was going to award him visititation, that answer is yes, even if he is a drug using crook with a record he can get supervised visits. In GA, he can not pay for 5 years and not see the child and still come back and GA will give him visits of some level.

So as stated, as the father he has full rights to the child right now, you by doing nothing is not helping.