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mugsy13 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:30 PM

:confused:Almost three years ago I asked my ex girlfriend to leave the house. I did not mean it I was just pissed off and was an alcoholoc so I said some things I did not mean.Well when I came back home she was gone and had taken the kids. Two days later I got served with a restraining order, I know I deserved it I put her thrue hell I was abusive. Now its been almost three years and not a word has she said about getting back togheter or I still love you. I don't know I hold on with hope every day thinking that all this was just meant to be. Because We needed to break up. I love her and miss her and the kids being home. Is it just me or have you held on with the same hope?

liz28 · Oct 29, 2008, 09:39 PM

She has move on and so should you. Sometimes when you cause someone so much pain they don't want you back. It is good that you realize what you did and know the pain you cause but the only thing I can say and hope is that you have a relationship with your kids, if these are your kids. That's all you could focus on right now is them and support them. What you and her shared is over and was over 3 years ago so don't expect a "I love you or I want you back." Your not going get it.

The only thing you can do is form a relationship with your kids and hope you don't repeat the same mistake you made again with another women.

sylvan_1998 · Oct 30, 2008, 06:45 AM

I am not sure one can say she has moved on with out some other information. You have told us what has not been said, but what has been said? Are these your children and do you still have some contact with her? If so, what is the tone of your contact?

I think instead of asking us, you need to be speaking with her. Anyway, just my two cents.

450donn · Oct 30, 2008, 07:51 AM

Addictions destroy relationships. You destroyed your relationship with this woman. There is likely no way she will ever come back to you except maybe if you clean up your act and prove to her that you can be a great dad to the children and husband to her some day. I take it you were never married? And that the children are yours? You do know that most women want a stable relationship and all that goes with it, like marriage don't you? It is really sad how many people come here asking for help with failed relationships and they have never married the other person even though they have children. Makes one wonder about us as a nation?

BMI · Oct 30, 2008, 08:05 AM

Unfortunetly sometimes everything does not work out like it does in fairytales. I think we all know what it feels like to cling on to hope, whether it be a lost loved or a situation that seems hopeless.

I can only offer my suggestion, which is to tell her how you feel. You know as well as anyone what you put her through and it seems as if you take responsibility for your actions. Addiction can be hell, you know you didn't mean what you said but through her eyes it is a lot harder to accept that.

I seen situations like this and even when the person gets clean it is still not enough, the damage has been done, no amount of sobriety will purge your past sins. That being said, telling her regardless of her answer is best.

If she accepts than it is on you to fulfill what you say, on your honor. If she says no than you be polite as you already understand why she would say no. Prove to yourself you different and changed, she will either see that or not. IT's all you can do.

Best of luck to you. It must be hard.