[flower81]

1. I was the phone to my boyfriend. I called on his work mobile, 2 secs into the conversation his personal mob rings, he tells me to hold on, when he answered he cut me off.
2. I rang back and when I asked who called him he said... mmmm mmmmm, mc donalds called (coz he fixes their machines).. I was like yeah right. He said well if your going to be stroppy I don't want to talk to you and cut me off again!!

Should I call back?

[J_9]

No, I would not call back right away. He may come back at you saying that you are "spying" on him.

Let him call you back, his actions do sound kind of funny to me.

[flower81]

:( I don't know what to do.
I really trust him... but something is telling me its different - I have this bad gut feeling

[flower81]

He called me now.
He said sorry for hanging up on me, he said he is very stressed at d mo with work and didn't need me being on his case!

Shall I believe him?

[Krs]

Hi flower,

It sounds like he is stressed, and hopefully that's all it is. The fact that he phoned to say sorry, to me that means something good.

Why he cut you off I don't know, maybe it was by mistake, or am I being naïve, that I don't know.

[Chery]

OK, Flower, lets talk facts.
You are 'driving yourself mad' as you said in a previous thread...
I have intentionally put off getting too specific because I feel that you need to reflect on what you really want in life.

1. You get all hot and bothered when your b/f talks to other women.
2. You get upset when the subject of sex is brought up in a conversation.
3. When you call him, you expect him to drop everything and irritated when he has a business phone call at work.
4. Deep inside, you also feel that he asks too much of you when he wants to experiment sexually.

What would you think, and even suggest to someone else when you read your threads. Think, if someone posted the same situation as you did what kind of bells would ring?

It is my opinion, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that you are so darned insecure that it hurts. I certainly would not want to be in your shoes - and I'm sure you are uncomfortable in them yourself.

Yes, you are driving yourself mad... Stop this and talk to a professional about why you don't have confidence in yourself. You are so insecure that it's going to drive him away. If you really love this guy, then do both of you a favor and get to the bottom of your insecurity and learn to grow into a person who understands herself enough to be able to trust and understand others.

Why do you not accept it when someone tells you he loves you? Why don't you think you are just as good in bed as any other women can be? Why do you think your b/f talks to other women on the phone while at work? Until you have the answers for this, you'll continuously have problems in any relationship you start. Your own insecurity is going to drive you mad!

Somehow, you have the wrong impression of a 'couple'. There must have been something very traumatic in your past that you have not worked on yet, and it's preventing you from having a satisfying life in the present. And until you straighten this out with yourself, you'll not have any peace in the future.

If you cannot or will not talk to anyone about your past, PM me and we'll work on it. I know from personal experience that a past that has not been 'closed' can cause unbelievable damage and am offering you a chance to at least open the door and work on the real you.
You deserve to have a fulfilled life in the present and future, so please take the opportunity given.

I want so much for you to look forward, and have your dreams come true.

Think about it, and get back with us. We are here for you, so grab that chance. It's free.
You want to trust him, but something is preventing you from doing so, and that is deep within you. Let's find out what that is...

[flower81]

What do you mean, why do I think my boyfriend talks to other women on the phone while at work?

[flower81]

Could it be this :- sometimes I feel he is too good to be true?

[Chery]

what do you mean, why do I think my boyfriend talks to other women on the phone while at work?

2. I rang back and when I asked who called him he said... mmmm mmmmm, mc donalds called (coz he fixes their machines).. i was like yeah right. he said well if your going to be stroppy I don't want to talk to you and cut me off again!!

Isn't that what you insinuated in that post?


In some way, you might feel that he's too good to be true and that you don't deserve him - again, leading to your insecurity. So, why is it that you feel you don't deserve to be happy?

[flower81]

Sorry OK, I understand now. I don't know why I thought he spoke to other women.. again showing my insecurity, but then again why did he hesitate when I asked who he spoke to? And if mc donalds did call him, why on his personal mob and not work mob! Though his personal mob was used before for work before he got a new work mob with a different number!
I don't know :(:(:(

[talaniman]

Hi flower- Relax and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. All the questions you have asked here could drive you crazy and he wouldn't have a clue what your talking about. Whatever happened in your past to make you insecure you need to work on but a cell phone cut-off and the guy is cheating?? LET IT GO. Stop trying to figure out who's calling ,it may not be your business. Don't start something that ain't there, relax;)

[flower81]

Its not because he cut me off, its how he had me hold when he answered the other call on other mob, and I heard him talking then he cut me off like he didn't want me hearing the conversation... like he had something to hide!

[Wildcat21]

Although, to play devils advocate,. I think, when women feel this in their gut, it is usually right for some reason.

If she suspects something, maybe there are other signs... not always available, works later, fewer calls, fewer e-mails, fewer text, doesn't return calls - or doesn't return them right away etc.

[flower81]

I hope my gut instinct is wrong! I don't think I should ask him really.
He doesn't text me because he doesn't have credit on his phone, we broke as we saving together, we just bought a place actually, but then once he is in office, he always calls me.

[Wildcat21]

Hmmm... I think then you need to relax and worry about other things in your life. It sounds like he is there for you. You MAY be smothering him as well... not good.

How about concnetrating on work, friends, family, school, hobbies, etc. - and not so much him - he will love you for it!!

[Serpentina77]

You're stressing way too much over this. Haven't you ever had a time where you had phone problems? Like someone called then another person did, it accidentally got hung up and when you call back you're so worried the other person would be mad at you that when they ask you a simple question you have to re orient yourself?

You could be optimistic and say that he was probably worried about you being angry that he cut you off, so it took him a moment to be like... who called me again? Oh yeah...

Or you could be pessimistic and think that maybe he wasn't even paying attention to you when you asked the question. Then he sort of heard it a bit after you said it, which is what happens to everyone.

If he got a new work mobile, then of course it's going to have a different number. In fact, the work mobile is probably already paid for by his work, so he probably considers it a good thing to have a work mobile.

If mcdonalds called him on his personal, and as you said before he used it for work, then they probably haven't gotten the message that he has a new phone.

Either way, having this little feeling that doesn't really have any physical evidence could cause a LOT of problems. Worry about cheating if you smell perfume on him or something. People have secrets, he could have been talking to a family member or something and didn't want you to think he'd cut you off so you couldn't hear what he had to say, as is previously said. You thought he was having secrets. If he said it was anyone else but work, you would immediately suspect him now wouldn't you? Or get angry and confront him about keeping secrets when he most likely wasn't.

If you ask him a lot of questions like this he's probably just scared you'll get mad or take something the wrong way. I'd say that since you are still together he's dealing with your insecurity as best he can and is afraid if it comes out on him. Your relationship is going to be in serious trouble if you insinuate that he's cheating and only have this one little time to think he is. You say you trust him, but you don't show it. I've felt the gut feeling, there's no percent on when it's true or not.

Let him know he's too good to be true. He most likely said the mcdonald's thing trying to use it for your benefit. Stress is some woman named Onyx or Jewel calls him or something, not when his phone cuts off and he takes a moment to say who it was.

[phillysteakandcheese]

It sounds like you caught him at a busy time, and he couldn't talk, and he was simply just short with you... It happens. I carry a Blackberry and a cell phone at work - I get busy sometimes and just can't stop to take a personal call.

Being under stress doesn't help, and you calling back probably added stress at that point in time. Since he called a little later to apologize, I don't think you can call this one event a "sign of cheating".

If anything - I agree with Chery that the pattern suggests this is about your own insecurity.

[Skell]

If you keep acting this way towards him he is going to get sick and tired of it and then you'll have bigger issues to worry about. i.e. being dumnped and alone.
Coming froma male if I had a girlfriend who acted like that simply because I cut her off because I was on another call then I would not be able to handle it. This is simply the truth.
What Chery said in her first post was so true. It was the best advice any one could give you.
Relax a little and work on yourself. There seem to be some real issues that you need to resolve.

[Blazingsun]

Please don't stress too much over this.
Do you trust your boyfriend? Then trust in the love that's there. Everyone has awsome points.
Don't let this rattle you too much, he did call back to appologise. :)

[Depressed in MO]

Although, to play devils advocate,.................I think, when women feel this in their gut, it is usually right for some reason.

If she suspects something, maybe there are other signs.....not always avaialble, works later, fewer calls, fewer e-mails, fewer text, doesn't return calls - or doesn't return them right away etc.

That is exactly what I was thinking. My gut instincts have NEVER been wrong, and I swear I have never been wrong with that.