[COOKIE MONSTER]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for awhile now and he thinks its time for me to meet his daughters,there 11 and 12 years old.I have no idea what to say to them.they don't know we are going out [well that's what my boyfriend thinks but you know as well as me 11 and 12 year old are not daft when I comes to things like this].
This is not a big thing to him but it is to me,it means a lot to me

I know not to try to hard because they'll know
But what do I say? I'm no girlie girl,I don't wear make up,I don't wear dresses I don't watch chick flicks.
So what on earth do I say??

[JBeaucaire]

If this is the first time, I would recommend against a meeting in a sit-down environment. 11-12 year olds are not masters of conversation, especially not with strangers, especially not with strangers who are going to be taking some of their father's attention away from them. Expect them to be very wary of you.

So, make sure this meeting takes place in an environment that is mostly about them, with some time built in chit-chat here and there... like an amusement park, Chuck E. Cheese, sporting event... you get the idea.

[COOKIE MONSTER]

He's bringing them to my house,I have 2 young boys they'll love the boys and have them to play with.
I have a playstation2 shall I get it out and set it up.
There's not many shops were I live,there's a park but its freezing here,and its very rare they get to go to mc donalds
There's no amusement parks in longford lol [i wish there was].
There's nothing in longford.can't go any were in the car because there wouldn't be enough room for us all

[JBeaucaire]

Sounds like you've convinced yourself this is the only environment this can happen in. That is unfortunate. I still stand by my recommendation above. You have to figure out how that is accomplished in your area.

Things like "all fitting in one car" and such are you missing the point. Your house and cramming everyone together in one car... both of those ideas are them being trapped in your world.

First dates... and that's what this is... should always occur in neutral territory with plenty of distraction available.

Think over the "spirit" of my suggestion and try to come up with ideas of your own for creating that situation. I bet you can if you REQUIRE it of yourself. I can only suggest.

I'm thinking of the kids, not convenience, not $$ savings, the kids. Make the "meeting" about you meeting them, not them being forced to meet their new "girlfriend-in-law". This is tough stuff.

[liz28]

When your around them be yourself and don't try too hard. When I first met my fiancé son I was a little nervous but it didn't show. They might be full of questions because they're not little kids. Your be surprise on how they conduct a conversations. They are going feel you out and report their findings to their father.

When I met my future stepson, we played board games, playstation, and watched movies. I think the board games was an ice breaker because after that you would've never thought that was our first night meeting.

Once you start talking to them you will get to know their likes and dislikes and next time you can do something more special with them.

I hope everything work out and remember be yourself.

[kiffydee]

Bowling is a fun thing to do. Neutral environment like suggested earlier. As for a crowded car . Take separate vehicles that way if it is too uncomfortable you can both go your separate ways after the meeting and he will have time to speak to his children in comfort. Just the same you can talk to your boys also. It will be odd for them as well. Good luck !
Dee

[ty65dfvdf]

I wouldent worry just stay cool

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Meeting the girls went really well thank god
Lol can't say much about all the events before hand but that doesn't matter now.
They ended up coming to my house in the end.we did decided to meet for dinner in town but all the events before hand,I got soaked going into town,then my sons bottle leaked all over my phone and locked on me and lol well its f**ked now,I had to come home to get my other phone,then my auntie turned up and then so did my boyfriend and the girls.they played with my boys for a while and it turns out they love drawing and I'm good at drawing so I got all the pencils and felts out and we all sat at the table for awhile drawing.then played football in my kitchen lol its big enough.
I got kisses and hugs when they were leaving and my boyfriend said they gave me good report.
Wasn't as bad as I though it would be