[J_9]

i dont think it matters if its illegal unless you plan on turning him in. i mean, whos gonna find out theyre having sex? and then whos gonna take it to the cops?

Many people may find out and many may take it to the cops. I've seen it done before even when the parents consented. The law is the law.

[SimpleguyJoe]

There are some forms of birth control that will completely stop a women's cycle from happening, its called the "Depo Provera shot". It will last 3 months and stops eggs from dropping. If they can't refrain from having sex this might be a good idea in the most serious of circumstances but it has a lot of drawbacks and will almost certainally make her gain a small amount of weight. Even then it's only 99% effective and coupled with a comdom will be within reasonable standards to know she won't get knocked up.

But like said above the BEST choice is to just refrain from having sex or cut it down to maybe once or twice a month. Like I said once a teen becomes sexually active it becomes much harder to stop, more so if they love each other.

[XRawrX69]

1. That's right you never said ANYTHING about the sex part. But, again, since the OP mentioned and you told her to leave it alone, the inference was to leave that part alone too.
2. umm Duh, usually with age comes greater maturity. But you are missing the point. Age does matter. As both parties get older it matters less and less. I have no problem with the age difference here, but the law in their state does have a problem with them having sexual relations.
3. Um no, only teens who engage in sexual relations risk getting pregnant. And again, I go back to what you actually said; "If the are having protected sex she won't get pregnant!". You didn't say she probablywon't get pregnant or she's unlikely to get pregnant, you said she "won't" get pregnant.
4. You can't have it both ways. You can't think there shouldn't be a limit but then say that 14-24 is big. I don't see a problem with a 34-44, but when the difference involes an adult and a minor there is usually a big problem.

Yeah, you should be more clear. That's the problem here. you aren't carefully considering what you post. You are making statements that make you look foolish and then compounding the problem by trying to defend them.

Yeah dude seriously okay I wrote 'she won't get pregnant if she's having protected sex' smart people would know that I meant the chances of her getting pregnant were small. And I did say that it shouldn't have limits I'm not trying to have it both ways just because I said 14-24 is big doesn't mean I think its wrong. And DUH teens who ENGAGE in sexual relations are at risk to get pregnant That's WHAT I SAID just because I didn't put the words you wanted didn't mean you couldn't get that from what I said. Oh and for 2.That's exactly the point I was trying to make. Basically your just quoting me saying the same things but pointing out words I left out. Just leave it alone I said what I had to say and I stand by it. Find someone else to quote and find wrong. And you're the one that looks foolish saying the same things I'm saying

[missteetee]

I think your daughter is too young to be having sex but at least she is acting responsible by using protection. I still would advice her that she is just too young and that if he really loved and cared about her then he would wait. Also, condoms are not 100% and I have a daughter as proof.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Ok XrawrX69 and Scottgem lets end the pis**ng contest and stop argueing over small details and semantics it's not getting the thread anywhere. Don't post unless you have something that will help the OP and stop underhanding each other. Were for the most part all adults and just need to understand different points of view and stop pointing out small inconsistencies if you don't like it bring it up in a private conversation.

[ScottGem]

i dont think it matters if its illegal unless you plan on turning him in. i mean, whos gonna find out theyre having sex? and then whos gonna take it to the cops?

And what if she gets pregnant? Don't you think that's a bit of a clue? In some states the doctor that examines her will be required to report it. Or what happens if she gets an STD, same story.

And then there is always the possibility that they have a fight and either the mother or the girl reports him in a fit of anger.

Sorry, but that was bad advice In my opinion. The fact that its illegal matters greatly. The potential of having his life ruined is just too great.

[XRawrX69]

And what if she gets pregnant? Don't you think that's a bit of a clue? In some states the doctor that examines her will be required to report it. Or what happens if she gets an STD, same story.

And then there is always the possibility that they have a fight and either the mother or the girl reports him in a fit of anger.

Sorry, but that was bad advice IMHO. the fact that its illegal matters greatly. The potential of having his life ruined is just too great.

IF she did get pregnant the docotor wouldn't know how old the father was or even who the father was. I see where your going with that but even still If he had an STD don't you think they'd be smart enough to get tested since they are now sexually active? And even if they don't get tested then her mom should make sure they do

[homebirthmom]

hi first off thats not really ok where she is a minor and he is a adult also that isnt even legal it actually is AGAINST the LAW hope that answers ur question:)

This is not necessarily true. It does depend on the state in which you live. Some states there is no statutory rape laws, its flat out child molestation. Also, the age difference is an issue. Sometimes 24 months isn't enough of an age gap to cause a problem. In Washingtons state, where I live, that is not enough of a gap to cause a problem. My sister was 15, and her boyfriend was 18, and there was nothing anyone could do.
So, just check out your states laws, and hopefully everything will be fine.

[J_9]

IF she did get pregnant the docotor wouldn't know how old the father was or even who the father was. I see where your going with that but even still If he had an STD don't you think they'd be smart enough to get tested since they are now sexually active? And even if they don't get tested then her mom should make sure they do

This is factually incorrect. At the hospital where I deliver babies, we DO ask who the father is and if the father is involved with the pregnancy and if he will be involved after the birth. Now, the mother does not have to mention who the father is of course, but it is asked.

Now, as far as the STD issue. STDs are community sexually transmitted diseases. When an STD is found, it is the doctor's/health department's responsibility to take a sexual history of everyone that the infected person has been with. Then, the State goes to that person/people and requires them to get tested and treated as well. There have been instances that I have been involved with where the police had to go pick up one of the partners of an infected person for testing and treatment.

[ScottGem]

IF she did get pregnant the docotor wouldn't know how old the father was or even who the father was. I see where your going with that but even still If he had an STD don't you think they'd be smart enough to get tested since they are now sexually active? And even if they don't get tested then her mom should make sure they do

You really need to quit before you fall further behind. I don't rush to answer questions. I carefully consider my answers and draw from a great deal of experience. I rarely make statements I can't defend with facts and/or logic.

Its perfectly natural for the doctor to inquire about the father. But the doctor wouldn't need to know about the father. He knows that the mother is under the age of consent. That's enough that he might be required to report it.

No, I don't think they would be smart enough to be tested. Teenagers have a sense of immortality that makes them feel no need to take certain precautions.

[XRawrX69]

This is factually incorrect. At the hospital where I deliver babies, we DO ask who the father is and if the father is involved with the pregnancy and if he will be involved after the birth. Now, the mother does not have to mention who the father is of course, but it is asked.

Now, as far as the STD issue. STDs are community sexually transmitted diseases. When an STD is found, it is the doctor's/health department's responsibility to take a sexual history of everyone that the infected person has been with. Then, the State goes to that person/people and requires them to get tested and treated as well. There have been instances that I have been involved with where the police had to go pick up one of the partners of an infected person for testing and treatment.

Oh well I actually didn't know that. So thanks cause I learned something new

[BlessdWitTalenT]

And what if she gets pregnant? Don't you think that's a bit of a clue? In some states the doctor that examines her will be required to report it. Or what happens if she gets an STD, same story.

And then there is always the possibility that they have a fight and either the mother or the girl reports him in a fit of anger.

Sorry, but that was bad advice IMHO. the fact that its illegal matters greatly. The potential of having his life ruined is just too great.

That's all true. I just figured that if nothing is wrong and everything is going great, no pregnancy std's or any of that then why worry about him getting into trouble with the authorities if there is no reason to turn him in.

[ScottGem]

thats all true. i just figured that if nothing is wrong and everything is going great, no pregnancy std's or any of that then why worry about him getting into trouble with the authorities if there is no reason to turn him in.

But there are no guarantees either way. And the potential for having a life ruined is too great to risk.

[BlessdWitTalenT]

But there are no guarantees either way. And the potential for having a life ruined is too great to risk.

If he knows the risks and is OK with it, and she knows the risks also, then I don't think there should be a reason for the OP to keep them apart or be worried. Let them deal with it when the time comes. The man is old enough to make his decisions. If he ruins his life, its his fault. Let them decide on what they want to do. As long as they know the risks of what can happen, let them be.

[ScottGem]

if he knows the risks and is ok with it, and she knows the risks also, then i dont think there should be a reason for the OP to keep them apart or be worried. let them deal with it when the time comes. the man is old enough to make his decisions. if he ruins his life, its his fault. let them decide on what they wanna do. as long as they know the risks of what can happen, let them be.

Excuse me, but this forum is about offering advice on what to do. You can disagree with my adivce, just as I disagree with yours. My opinion is that you are not helping the situation by advising them to ignore the legal implications of their actions.

Also, I don't think anyone here, including me, has advised that the OP keep them apart. Our advice has been for them to refrain from sexual activity until she is of legal age. That doesn't mean they can't continue to date.

[XRawrX69]

Excuse me, but this forum is about offering advice on what to do. You can disagree with my adivce, just as I disagree with yours. My opinion is that you are not helping the situation by advising them to ignore the legal implications of their actions.

Also, I don't think anyone here, including me, has advised that the OP keep them apart. Our advice has been for them to refrain from sexual activity until she is of legal age. That doesn't mean they can't continue to date.

Seriously you're the one that keeps saying its too great of a risk basically your saying don't let them be together because of how he might get reported and each time you disagree with people your saying that.

[aaj2008]

OK look... she says she is going to be with him no matter what right?? So you got your choices... you can freak out on her and tell her no... she will just go behind your back and lie to you... or you can accept it, teach her responsibility, make sure they are not doing anything ridiculous, have her check in, and trust her.

[ScottGem]

Seriously your the one that keeps saying its too great of a risk basically your saying don't let them be together because of how he might get reported and each time you disagree with people your saying that.

You really have a problem reading. Please show me where I said they should not be together?

In fact, in my first post in this thread (#30), I said; "I agree with you that the age difference is not too great and I see no problem in these two dating.".

My point is that they (he especially) are taking a big risk if they have sexual relations. I never said they shouldn't be together. Again, I'm careful what I post (unlike you).

[me22469]

In the State of Missouri the legal age of consent is 17. I was in the courtroom when an 18 year old man was convicted of statutory rape against his 16 year old girlfriend. He had been living with her and her mother and sleeping in the same bed for 2 years. When they broke up, the mother pressed charges against him. He now has to register as a sex offender and can not be around girls under the age of 17. Most of the time, kids can get away with this behavior, but you might want to warn them that this can become a nightmare for both of them.