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ice_angel · Jun 5, 2006, 08:47 PM

OK. I'm not sure what to do. I mean I don't even know how to tell my mom. The father knows, but I mean I know that I'm going to show soon and I'm not so sure if I want to tell her or just let her find out when I start showing... im so confused.:confused:

educatedhorse_2005 · Jun 5, 2006, 08:53 PM

It is best if you come out and just tell them.
Most parents are very understanding and will help you through the difficult times ahead.
One of the first things they will want to now is who the dad is.
Second when is it due.
Third is the dad willing to help you with the baby.
Fourth are you going to keep it or give it up for adaptation.
Fifth how will you take care of it.

buggage · Jun 5, 2006, 09:13 PM

Also, it is a very good idea to get things out in the open, so that you can get the proper prenatal care for you and the baby. The longer you wait the harder it will be to tell. Finding out on their own will probably make their reactions more strong, then if you show maturity and strength, and come right out and tell them. Good luck hun.take care of you and that little one, and keep us posted.

kp2171 · Jun 5, 2006, 10:00 PM

Every day that your mother doesn't know is another day of added anxiety.

You know it might be very difficult... but better now than latter. Until you let her know, it is just more added stress. She'll need time to adjust, you need to know whether she'll help you. The sooner you can let her know the sooner you can begin to deal with the situation. Its always better to deal with reality than to fret about what you are unsure about.

And the point about proper prenatal care is a very good one. You should at least be taking a good multivitamin, folic acid is good, etc.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 5, 2006, 10:24 PM

It is better to let her know now. I know it may be hard, but it will be even harder just waiting for her to find out. Quite honestly Your mother will probably take it better it actually coming from you now instead of later. Delaying it will only make her reaction possibly worse.

Jnet29 · Jun 6, 2006, 09:21 AM

Hi ice angel, I know how you are feeling, I was in the same place you are in and it can be hard to tell your mom that your pregnant.angel If I were you I would tell your mom because you will need her help to make sure you are in good health and to make sure you get the right care for your baby, so don't wait to long your baby needs to get the viamins pregnant women take to make sure the baby develop right . Please let your mother be a mother don't take this from her she loves you and she will be the only one that can help you. I wish you the best : )

Stormy69 · Jun 6, 2006, 09:58 AM

As a mother of a teenage mother, Let me share my feelings on this...
My daughter who is 17, hid her pregnancy from me until one month before the baby came. It's a long story she was in and out of our home , living with her boyfriend and his mother for the last couple of months.When I saw her I knew she was pregnant, I flat out asked her and she told me yes, she was.

I always thought I would freak out and go nuts if one of my girls got pregnant
So young.
I'm still amazed at how well I took the news. My daughter was very scared and in denial and did not get any prenatal care until I found out.
I made the appointment, she had an ultrasound and 3 weeks later my precious grandson was born. Perfect thank goodness!
Here are my regrets over the issue.
I wish she had told me sooner,The baby could have been born with something seriously wrong due to lack of prenatal care.
I did not have anytime to prepare. It was a mad dash to get just the basic things she needed.
I felt like she really didn't have any faith in me and our mother -daughter relationship.* I always thought my kids could tell me anything.
She fully intended to give the baby up for adoption, thankfully I convinced her she would regret that decision for the rest of her life, and I let her know that I would do what ever it took to help her keep that baby.
This baby was the cement that glued our relationship rock solid. My daughter moved back home and I watch her as a mother and have never been so proud of her. She loves me and depends on me. Just a side note, she graduated 2 weeks after the baby came! The hardest part for me from all this was that she didn't tell me. Yes I was hurt and upset that she did not make better judgement in using birth control, but I got over it. What hurt me was the lack of trust and communication.
Now not all moms are going to react as well as I did. But remember you are not the FIRST teenage girl to get pregnant and you surely won't be the last.
So please.. tell your Mom. It may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but you need to be an adult now and face her. Good luck to you sweety.

ice_angel · Jun 6, 2006, 10:50 AM

I just don't know how to tell her. We never really got along. And I'm just scared of her reaction. Because I mean I know who the father is but I was a mistake. We were both drinking that night. I mean I want to tell her, but I'm afraid of how she will react. Being that she was married at 16 and had me at 19, I don't think it will be that bad but then again she's always told me that if I ever come up pregnant shell kill me. And I mean I've told my boyfriend because its not his and he is somewhat OK with it. But I just don't know exactly how to tell her.

Stormy69 · Jun 6, 2006, 11:26 AM

I told my girls the same thing.. " I'd kill em" well I didn't.
Write her a letter and tell her you really need to talk to her about something very important, or find a time when she is in a good mood,or take her out to lunch and tell her in public( lessons the chance of her killing you if there are witnesses)or give her a small gift with the positive pregnancy test inside.
Or... there are lots of ways to tell her, just find the best one to suit your situation.

ice_angel · Jun 6, 2006, 11:35 AM

Thank you... I would have never thought of any of that.

Stormy69 · Jun 6, 2006, 11:39 AM

You are very welcome sweetie, please let us know how things turn out, and take care of yourself! No more drinking! Start taking a prenatal vitiman, you can get them over the counter and walgreens or walmart. Drink lots of milk, all that good stuff. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help you.

ice_angel · Jun 6, 2006, 11:42 AM

Lol. OK no more drinking. And ill look for a vitamin or whatever it is. Urgh... I hate milk but ill drink it... and all the other fun stuff...

Stormy69 · Jun 6, 2006, 11:58 AM

If you can not find a prenatal vitiman, any multi-vitiman formulated for women will be better than nothing.
Is there a planned parenthood or women's clinic you can go to in your area?
There are tons of resources out there for pregnant women, especially teens.

ice_angel · Jun 6, 2006, 12:08 PM

I take regular vitamins everyday. Not that I know of. We haven't lived here long but I can look and see if there is.

buggage · Jun 6, 2006, 01:13 PM

Right now, I am taking prenatal vitamins from walmart. They are very good, have lots of calcium in them and are pretty cheap. They are called " one source, complete. prenatal" its in a white bottle with a pink lable. They are easy on the stomach(just make sure to take it with food, that willhelp)

Chery · Jun 7, 2006, 03:00 PM

If you look at the statistics, many mothers threaten to 'kill' their daughters if they come home pregnant at an early age, but none have actually done it.

Of course she's going to be upset, and she'll yell. But you've probably been yelled at by her many times in the past and have survived it.
Once she's done being a 'normal' over-reacting mom (and you know she has that right), she'll calm down, shift into the 'helpful mother' gear and start planning for the future.

She will probably enjoy helping you through your stages, looking on the internet for information that is available today for expecting moms. The sooner you tell her, the sooner she can kick into the 'soon to be grandma' feeling and I don't think you should deny her that. What do you think? How would you want your child to react (if you were in her place)? Wouldn't you want your daughter to share these times with you, ask you for advice, and to be reassured that she could come to you at this very important time in your life?

So, dear, don't deny yourself a wonderful stressless pregnancy - get it over with and tell your Mom, and you'll have one worry less.

Good luck, and please keep us posted.

J_9 · Jun 7, 2006, 03:09 PM

Wow, my best friend is in the grandma position right now and is due to have the grandbaby on 6/8/06, so I can answer from that side.

Yes, she was WAY upset at first, but she got over it. I asked her if she was happy being a grandmother at such a young age and she said "What can I do about it now, it is already done, no reason to be uspet over something I have no control over." So, now she is sitting up nights just waiting to go to the hospital. She has been knitting and sewing to her heart's content.

There is always initial shock, but in the end there is someone to look forward to.

And I agree with Amy, NO MORE DRINKING! You are too young for that anyway.

Chery · Jun 7, 2006, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Wow, my best friend is in the grandma position right now and is due to have the grandbaby on 6/8/06, so I can answer from that side.

Yes, she was WAY upset at first, but she got over it. I asked her if she was happy being a grandmother at such a young age and she said "What can I do about it now, it is already done, no reason to be uspet over something I have no control over." So, now she is sitting up nights just waiting to go to the hospital. She has been knitting and sewing to her heart's content.

There is always initial shock, but in the end there is someone to look forward to.

And I agree with Amy, NO MORE DRINKING!! You are too young for that anyway.

WOW, what a coincidence, my granchild is due on the same day! I'm soooo excited!

I turned my daughter on to some sites and she read up on the progress. She was excited when she read that babies can hear and have hiccups - it's so much fun to just see her glow with happiness.

Jnet29 · Jun 8, 2006, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Stormy69

as a mother of a teenage mother, Let me share my feelings on this...
My daughter who is 17, hid her pregnancy from me until one month before the baby came. It's a long story she was in and out of our home , living with her boyfriend and his mother for the last couple of months.When I saw her I knew she was pregnant, I flat out asked her and she told me yes, she was.

I always thought I would freak out and go nuts if one of my girls got pregnant
so young.
I'm still amazed at how well I took the news. My daughter was very scared and in denial and did not get any prenatal care until I found out.
I made the appointment, she had an ultrasound and 3 weeks later my precious grandson was born. Perfect thank goodness!
Here are my regrets over the issue.
I wish she had told me sooner,The baby could have been born with something seriously wrong due to lack of prenatal care.
I did not have anytime to prepare. It was a mad dash to get just the basic things she needed.
I felt like she really didn't have any faith in me and our mother -daughter relationship.* I always thought my kids could tell me anything.
She fully intended to give the baby up for adoption, thankfully I convinced her she would regret that decision for the rest of her life, and I let her know that I would do what ever it took to help her keep that baby.
This baby was the cement that glued our relationship rock solid. My daughter moved back home and I watch her as a mother and have never been so proud of her. She loves me and depends on me. Just a side note, she graduated 2 weeks after the baby came! The hardest part for me from all this was that she didn't tell me. Yes I was hurt and upset that she did not make better judgement in using birth control, but I got over it. What hurt me was the lack of trust and communication.
Now not all moms are going to react as well as I did. But remember you are not the FIRST teenage girl to get pregnant and you surely won't be the last.
So please.. tell your Mom. It may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but you need to be an adult now and face her. Good luck to you sweety.

I read your post and you are so right thanks for posting it : )

Depressed in MO · Jun 8, 2006, 02:08 PM

I became pregnant when I was 16 and was very scared to tell my parents. I'm 25 now, so it wasn't that long ago.
The sooner you tell them, the happier you will be-at least more relieved. They will be devastated to find out on their own, knowing that their daughter felt as though she could not come to them because she was afraid of their reaction.
Tell them.