[masterchief1752]

I have been seeing this girl for about 3 months now. We started talking mid July and started dating early August. She is everything I've ever wanted in a girl. I have been dealing with idiots who lie and cheat the past few years and this one is the complete opposite. She's honest, she's not dramatic, she tells me what she wants.. shes just everything I've wanted. She's 17 and a senior in high school and I'm 18 and a freshman in college. I moved away August 25th two hours away from her at a top 5 college. Before I left it was damn near perfect. When I explain it I say it was like a page out of someone else s life. It was great in every way.

After I left it was all right until about a month later when she started acting different. I asked her about it and she said it was nothing. Then I came home and she told me her feelings were changing only when I'm gone. When I'm home they seem to be fine, so she thought we should take a break until we were ready. Things were decent and then I came home again for her homecoming and she seemed to almost ignore me. So we decided to go from break to break up. Immediately she started feeling like she missed me so much and wanted me home and she started going back to her normal self. We talked about how we were going to try and date around December because I would be home for a month for christmas break and even possibly thanksgiving break because I would be home for a week.

Today she was telling me about how she didn't want to date until the summer now, no matter what happens at home when I'm home for christmas or thanksgiving. She told me that her feelings didn't change at all and that she still misses me as much and that she still wants me to come home but that it would be beter to not date until summer. I understand that as I am afraid her feelings would go right back to changing for the worst after christmas. My problem is I asked her if honestly did she have any doubts about getting back together in the summer. The summer was supposed to be the fallback plan if the stuff in between we did didn't work. It might not work but as soon as summer got here we knew we'd get back together. All of a sudden she says she has doubts, she thinks it will happen, and doesn't see why it wouldn't but she said there is a small doubt.

My question is am I over thinking this? Should I let her go completely before she gets worse, or will she go back to wanting to get back together a.s.a.p. like before. I don't want to get back together after christmas break because of what I said I was afraid of before, but summer was always the guarantee that got me through all this. I just want to get an opinion from the outside that's not clouded by liking the person on whether someone thinks she is saying that to keep my standby until she finds someone else or if its genuine. She is an honest person she would tell me straight up if she wanted to break up not talk etc. she's stayed this long. I am just wondering if its more probable it will go wrong and if I should let this go now or wait it out. Thanks in advance for any help.

[talaniman]

This can't work! Sorry to tell you that, but its never a good idea to plan to date later.

The time and distance is just to great to overcome, unless you have two willing partners, and you don't.

You are really to willing to go along with this plan, from fear, or whatever, and that really stopping you from seeing your situation as it is.

Its one thing to date have fun when you can hook up, no strings attached. Its entirely another to hold out hope of having a difficult relationship with the hope things work out.

Let it go ,and leave her alone, for as perfect as you think she is, she is not willing to take that chance with you and that's the bottom line.

Sorry guy, but moving on is your best bet to having a healthy, happy life. Who knows in the future, but for now it ain't happening.

[masterchief1752]

Yeah I see what your saying 100% and I agree that was what my plan was going to be, but she wants to keep talking, she wants to keep it going... I NEVER text or call her first its always her... I mean if I had to make contact first I would get the point and move on completely but she always calls or texts first. I mean should I just have no contact at all? I am going to move on that was always my main goal even before posting this, but how severe and quick is my question. Should I stop talking to her completely until I come home, or should I talk to her and every now and then ignore her calls or texts.

[h0llister]

Let her go, focus on your career right now. Some people can do long distance and some cant. I believe she can't.

[masterchief1752]

Yeah I think I am going to let her go everyone is telling me to... I just put so damn much into this and she meant so much to me... she was literally perfect to me I didn't care what anyone else said and I've never had that before. I guess I will have to move on there's really nothing I can do about it... on the brightside I'm at college lol. A lot of fun. I think it will take a long time for me to get over her because we were friends for a while before dating and she means a lot to me.

[talaniman]

Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain, for even the most mature, and committed couples, so don't feel bad at all.

I think the main thing you need to remember is that she can't do it, and doesn't feel the same.

I think at this point is your both young, and have different expectations as to how this relationship is defined, and what is expected of you both to maintain a bond between you.

She feels so much differently than you do, and that's fine, but you have no clue as to what to do about her feelings, or yours.

You just aren't around each other enough, and that ruins everything.

Set her free to live, and grow, with no strings attached. That helps you both, as your going in different directions.