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melanie42276 · Oct 22, 2008, 06:05 AM

I just got a divorce yesterday and I want to move out of state. My Dad will write a letter to the judge saying that I will have a job and a house and family support. It's a better school for the kids. I just need to know what all I need to tell him to put in the letter. Can anyone help?

ScottGem · Oct 22, 2008, 06:12 AM

Was a visitation schedule set by the court as part of the divorce decree? Does the other parent have joint custody of the children?

If so, the judge is unlikely to allow you to move without the other parent's consent. Any move that would affect the court ordered visitation will require court approval. And that approvbal is unlikely if the other parent objects.

melanie42276 · Oct 22, 2008, 06:33 AM

I don't have the papers yet. So I don't know how its worded. But I also need to say that I'm on ssi and disablity, so by my dad saying that I have a job if I move up there would be better that trying to live off little bit of money I get now. I just need to know what facts to make sure that my dad states in the letter in asking to move.

excon · Oct 22, 2008, 06:56 AM

Hello melanie:

Maybe you didn't understand what Scott was telling you. If there's another parent involved who HAS visitation, the judge ISN'T going to let you move, no matter how great a letter your dad writes, and no matter what great jobs there are there.

excon

melanie42276 · Oct 22, 2008, 07:39 AM

Even if he is a sex affender?

excon · Oct 22, 2008, 07:43 AM

Hello again, melanie:

If he's a sex offender, the judge wouldn't have given him visitation. If he IS a sex offender, and you didn't mention it during the divorce when they were setting up visitation, YOU are the one guilty of child abuse.

excon

melanie42276 · Oct 22, 2008, 07:51 AM

I broght it up when I first filled the divorce and he and his girl friend started harassing me. I have filled an harassmet case with the state attorney"s office and I'm still waitting on them to do what needs to be done. I just was scared that I wouldn't have gotten the divorce if I brought it up agine. I thought that I had to give him some kind of vistation.

ScottGem · Oct 22, 2008, 08:00 AM

Melanie,

You aren't processing what I'm saying. In my first response I said; "Was a visitation schedule set by the court as part of the divorce decree? Does the other parent have joint custody of the children?"

This is key to the whole thing. Weren't you in court? Didn't your attorney advise you what was going on? You shouldn't need a copy of the divorce papers to know whether visitation was granted to the father or not.

If he is a convicted sex offender, then I doubt if he got visitation. But the crux of the matter is, if he got visitation and your move will not allow for the exercise of that visitation, then you won't be allowed to move. If there was NO visitation, then you would be free to move.

In either case your Dad's letter is not going to matter. If there is no visitation you don't need it. If there is, its not going to get the judge to allow the move.

excon · Oct 22, 2008, 08:01 AM

Hello again, melanie:

I don't know. You seem to think he shouldn't see his child because he's a sex offender, but during the divorce you gave him visitation.

I think you painted yourself into a corner. You have NO good options at this point. If you want it fixed for the long run, and I mean REALLY fixed, you'll hire a lawyer. But, you need to go back to court. Writing the judge a letter ISN'T going to do it.

If you violate the court order, in ANY way, you can be put in jail. So, you either need to obey the court order, or go back to court to get it changed. IF your family court is user friendly, you can go to the court yourself and get the proceedings going. I gather from your postings, however, that you're not capable of doing that on your own.

I believe you can find a family lawyer who will take payments from you. But, that's what you need.

excon

ScottGem · Oct 22, 2008, 08:08 AM

I agree with excon. I don't believe a sex offender is entitled to visitation. Definitely not unsupervised visitation. But you don't say whether he's been convicted or not.

Since the divorce is so recent, a judge is not going to modify any part of the decree without a substantitve change in circumstances. So the first thing you need to do is understand what was ordered by the court in terms of custody and visitation.

melanie42276 · Oct 22, 2008, 08:20 AM

I just got off the phone with the courts and expaned what has happened. And they told me that all I have to do is protect the child so what that means is when he gets here to pick her up if he starts any bad mouthing, wich he will, to call the cops. Then I can't get into any touble for not doing what it says on the divorce. So I'm guessing after dealing with that then I can ask the judge to let me move. What do you think?

excon · Oct 22, 2008, 08:30 AM

Hello again, melanie:

Both Scott and I are trying to help you, but it isn't working. You are in OVER your head. You NEED an ATTORNEY. That's what you NEED. NOTHING ELSE.

excon

ScottGem · Oct 22, 2008, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by melanie42276

they told me that all i have to do is protect the child so what that means is when he gets here to pick her up if he starts any bad mouthing, wich he will, to call the cops.

What this tells me is that he has visitation rights ordered by the court. It also suggests that the visitation is unsupervised (you said "pick her up" which indicates he can take her with him).

Originally Posted by melanie42276

So im guessing after dealing with that then i can ask the judge to let me move. What do you think?

What I think is the same as excon, you NEED to get an attorney because you are putting your child in danger. If the father is truly a sex offender then he should NEVER be allowed to be alone with the child. But his visitation rights don't specify that. Second as long as he has visitation rights YOU CANNOT MOVE since moving would block his ability to exercise the rights the court gave him. Your daddy could write a perfect letter and it wouldn't matter since the judge will say no.